The missing ball...

Warning - if you are easily offended or of a younger age, don't read this....

One day my kids are gonna read this and are probably going to be quite mad that I shared all this information with the world (mostly my son).  As a stay at home mom, I feel that it's one of my duties to entertain you all though so he'll just have to deal.  Plus, at some point, this stuff gets kinda bizarre and just in case it's also going on in your house, I want you to know it's completely normal.  We may look like a "normal" family on the outside but we are just as messed up as everyone else.  On a bad day, we are a mix of "Kate plus 8" minus most of the psycho and 6 of the kids.  On a good day, we're just your ordinary family with a side of crazy.

My son came home the other day complaining that his "bad spot" hurt.  His bad spot is his private area.  He calls it that because one day he got hit there and said "it hurt so bad" thus naming it the bad spot.  He complained a little after school and then had soccer which made it worse.  My kids are hypochondriacs (not sure where they get it) so I didn't think much of it.  One minute he was running around, the next he was crying that his bad spot hurt.  So like a good mom, I had him get it out so I could examine it.  I really didn't know what I was looking for so I called Dad into the examing room (aka - kitchen).  He declared everything was fine. I gave him some tylenol and sent him to bed. 

I just chalked it up to a sore muscle and didn't think much about it.  About 20 minutes after I tucked my son in, he comes back out to the living room.  This is how it went down from there....

"Mom, I know why my bad spot hurts."
"Why honey?"
"Welllllll, usually there are two balls in it and I can only find one.  Sooooo, I must have lost one of those balls!"

What does a mother say to this other than go wash your hands because obviously they've been in your pants!  I assured him that no, he did not lose a ball and sent him back to bed.  Of course, we were cracking up!

The next day I'm on the phone talking to a friend who has 2 sons and tell her the story.  She points out that it could possibly be a hernia!  What?  My mind starts racing....he's going to have to have surgery, he's never been put under, he'll miss school and it already took him 46 minutes to learn 3 spelling words, how is he going to catch up, he will miss soccer season, etc.  Yes, that is how my mind works.  As soon as my husband comes home I ask him if it's a hernia and he just laughs.  Apparently, I have no idea what I'm talking about and the boy is fine.  Phew - I already had a pediatric urologist on speed dial.

Come to find out, all I needed to do was ask my son because the missing ball had returned that morning.