Thursday, November 14, 2013

The drama of the holidays

I was recently texting with a friend (as in 5 minutes ago) about how the holidays have become so dramatic, stressful and are no longer fun.  I guess as a kid we are pretty oblivious to the amount of planning and stress that goes on behind the scene.  As a child, we just experienced the good parts...seeing cousins, eating good food, presents, breaks from school, etc.  As an adult, the magic is gone.  Completely.  Gone.   I want the magic back. 

For me, holiday planning starts in about late August, early September.  That's when fall is just around the corner.  I start to think that maybe we need a new family picture.  After all, the leaves will be changing and we can have a nice fall background.  Photographers book up early this time of year so I have to start researching, stalking photography blogs, browsing Pinterest for color palette ideas, growing my hair out, trying to lose weight and then deciding I will just have them photoshop my muffin top, etc.  Then it turns into a whole family affair and now 4 different calendars have to coordinate for that one perfect hour in October when everyone is available and the leaves will be at their peak.  Then after it's booked, you have to get all the outfits and everyone has to coordinate.  Someone's always mad about something and is everyone going to be happy for the picture?  Someone is bound to have a meltdown in the process and you kinda hope it's one of the younger kids and not yourself.  Then you move on to October.  Family pictures are done and you debate for hours on which one to use for a card.  Do you go black and white or color?  Which printing place has the best templates and the best prices.  And do you include the holiday letter?  I love to receive them but always feel like I'm bragging when I write our own?  Maybe this year I will do a "keepin' it real" version!

It's now mid October and fall is in the air.  You've made it through the chaos of Halloween, costume shopping and class parties.  Christmas decor and music is now vomiting from every store in town and you have to start your Christmas shopping.  I am not a big shopper but I love gift giving.  I love finding the perfect gift and seeing the joy it brings to someone else.  But let me tell you, the older my kids get, the more expensive the wish list items are!  And why didn't anyone tell me the wise men idea 12 years ago???  (your kids get 3 gifts from Santa or you because that how many the wise men gave Baby Jesus)  Would have loved to know that!  And then their are the lists!  Everyone wants to know what everyone wants.  I don't ever remember telling others what I wanted as a kid.  We circled stuff in catalogs and told Santa and we were thrilled on Christmas morning with whatever was under the tree!  Now I have to provide lists for everyone!  And there's all the gift coordinating!  Nobody wants duplicates on Christmas because no one wants to stand in line for 45 min. after Christmas to return stuff!  So now I'm giving certain gift ideas to certain people.  I don't think Barrack Obama does this much planning in a day!  I then I have to check with everyone to see what they bought so that all items are covered. 

By time November rolls around, I'm ready for Thanksgiving.  It's a time to be thankful for what we have not what we want.  It's a time to give thanks.  But then all the blasted black Friday, or Brown Thursday or whatever we are now calling it, ads start to come out.  I do not partake in that hot mess. 
But even Thanksgiving, which is my favorite holiday, has become dramatic.  We have to coordinate with both sides of the family.  We have to figure out who is bringing what, will there be drama, do I need to stuff the turkey with prozac, do we have enough seating?  I just want everyone to show up, eat and take a nap.  Is that too much to ask?  Oh and a little help with clean up would be much appreciated too.

When Christmas rolls around, I'm done.  I'm stressed and it's no longer fun.  I'm checking lists more times than Santa.  My belly is shaking like a bowl full of jelly...but not in the good way..more like I have diarhea from the stress.  Not a creature is stirring including my husband because he's already in bed and left me with the wrapping and cooking.  My nose is like a cherry but it may or may not be alcohol induced.  I have the plump part down but the jolly is gone.  Long.  Gone.  By this time, I'm over it.  Yes, I will get up and love watching my kiddos rip through their presents. I will cherish that 15 minutes but that's about it.  The rest of the holiday is cooking and cleaning and finding places for all the new stuff.  My mind will already be drifting off to the vacation we take a few short days after Christmas to the beach.  And then a whole new list will appear in my mind of everything that needs to be done before that trip including taking down all the Christmas decor!

This year I am vowing to just let it all go.  I want the magic back.  I want to actually be thankful on Thanksgiving and take the time out of that crazy day to tell those that I love that I am thankful for them. Even though they may (or may not) be making me crazy through the holiday season, I want to remember that I am lucky to have them.  I want to show my kids what the holidays should be like.  I want them to remember the holidays as times that the family is together and embrace the crazy that is unique to us.  I don't want them to look back and just remember that I spent the day in the kitchen and was a big crab yelling at their dad to take the garbage out. 

This year I am going to celebrate the reason for the season.  If everybody doesn't get what's on their list or something doesn't fit, I'm okay with that.  If you don't like what I'm serving, I'm okay with that too.  If we don't make it to every single holiday party and I forget to deliver a cookie platter to someone, I'm okay with that too.  I do not need to be six kinds of crazy to make this holiday a success.  I will relax and watch Buddy the Elf numerous times.  I will spread cheer by singing loud for all to hear.  I will let my kids decorate the tree and not move the ornaments after they go to bed.  And most of all I will just be thankful for everything that does or doesn't get done.