I found my Tribe

Let's take a minute to talk about motherhood.  There are so many phases of motherhood and let me tell you, it can be lonely. Instagram may make motherhood look easy and glamorous and while social media is getting better about showing more "real life" versions, no one really told me how it could be so lonely.  Now remember, my kids were born in 2001 and 2005 so we didn't have all the social media yet to stay connected.  And if you're thinking, how in the world could you have been lonely, when you literally have kids hanging on you and going to the bathroom was now for public viewing?  But trust me, it can be! 

My daughter was born in 2001 and we lived in a town where we knew no one.  My husband and I both commuted for work so we had friends in other towns, but no one close by.  We were the first in our group of friends from high school (now 2 hours away) to have kids so none of those friends really knew what we were going through.  Most of them were still living the single life.  I loved that time with just the three of us but it wasn't really what I was expecting from motherhood.  I didn't really have another mom to share stuff with, to ask "is this normal", or just hang out with in general.  We both worked and my husband also went to apprentice school so our social life was nonexistent.

Skip to 2005 and my son being born.  When he was born, I quit my job to stay home with the kids and we moved to a new town to be closer to my husband's job.  So now I have a 6 month old and a 4 year old and not a single friend nor did I know a single person.  The week we moved here I told my husband that I was going to get involved in the community because I would need an outlet and friends.  We moved here in the fall and my daughter started preschool the next week.  All of the moms were so nice and many of them stayed at home too.  We started meeting at the park or McDonald's play land with the kids.  I had several neighbors that also had little kids and stayed home and it was great. But I still didn't have that close group of friends I was striving for.

That winter, I nervously went to my first Women's Club meeting.  It was at a person's home...I had no idea where it was located or what I would be walking in to.  I pulled up in front of a house, took a deep breath and went in.  Little did I know, I would find my "people" there.  The meeting was at a lady named Melissa's house.  She was super nice.  Her girls were close to my daughter's age. It was there I also met a lady named Erin.  We realized that her son was my daughter's age and she had twin girls the same age as my son.  We chatted a little that night and went about our way.  I continued to go to the monthly meetings and someone there invited me to a MOPS group.

A few months later I went to my first MOPS meeting at a local church.  It was there that I met a lady named Cindy who had kids close in age to my kids.  Her daughter would end up in preschool with my son. Turns out the next year, my daughter, Erin's son and Cindy's son all ended up in the same kindergarten class.  My daughter had a very rough year and it was Erin (who is a first grade teacher) who pulled me aside and gave me a big hug on a particularly rough morning.  She probably didn't even realize at the time how much that meant to me.  

Slowly, I began seeing these ladies at more places.  When you live in a small town, your lives overlap quite a bit especially when you have kids. I got involved with helping at the school and met another teacher there named Christina.  By the time her family moved to town in 2009, she was also part of my new "family". Her kids were close in age to all of ours too.

Why am I telling you all of this?  Because if you are a new mom or an old mom or your kids are about to leave the nest, finding your tribe is so important.  It can be a tribe of 2 or 20 but having those moms to lean on is so valuable.  These are the ladies that I know I can call on at any time of the day or night.  These are the ladies that make me laugh until I cry.  They love my kids and laugh at my husband's stupid jokes even though we have a pact not to do that.  They encourage me and tell me when I'm being crazy and convince me (sometimes) not to cut my hair. 

These ladies have been with me through just about all the phases of motherhood.  We've survived grade school and school projects and field trips.  We've been through rough days of middle school and homework dilemmas. We've picked up each others kids and taken dinners to each other.  We've been through the loss of loved ones, marital problems and some of the funnest times of my life! We've danced until the wee hours of the morning and taken road trips together.  And just recently, we've been the moms of high school graduates and are now navigating the phase of "mom of college student".  And bonus - now our kids are old enough that we don't even have to find babysitters anymore!

I'm very fortunate to have a few more friends in my tribe than just these fantastic four but they were my very first friends here and I'm so thankful for them.  Don't be afraid to put yourself out there.  Don't be afraid to show up to a meeting or a new place and not know a single person in the room.  Take a step out of your comfort zone.  Smile at someone and introduce yourself.  Most likely, someone else in that room is in the same place as you.  You may just be as lucky as I was and find your tribe. 

What to Expect in Your 40's - Ladies edition.

Men - you can go ahead and read this.  It's very useful information and may help you understand your crazy wife.  And I'm sure being a guy is hard but this one is for the ladies. :)

Back when I was pregnant with my kids, I read the popular book "What to Expect When You're Expecting" followed up by the First Years and so on.  I needed information to get me through those early days.  I had questions.  Lots and lots of questions.  Answers eased my worrying new mama mind  Yes, this was normal.  No, you aren't losing your mind. These books helped.

Then as my kids got older, I read about the toddler years and the teen years.  I went to Mops and Hearts at Home.  I got information about raising my kids and having a great marriage.  Blogs and Vlogs became a thing and information was only a google search away.  In this day and age, I feel like sometimes we have TOO much information! 

Now that I'm in my 40's (41 to be exact), I feel like I'm discovering things that I wish I would have known.  I mean, come on, there's books for everything else, and maybe there is a book out there about this, but I haven't found a good one yet. So, as a service to all my lady friends, I'm here to warn you about a few things.  Maybe you've already experienced some of this.  Maybe you know more of the horror that awaits me.  But either way, I thought this list would prepare you just incase.  It's also important to know that this was all prompted by the acne breakout that happened to my chin today and a few snapchats among friends. 

So here are a few "highlights" you can expect in your 40's...

1. Facial hair...if you think you don't have it, you're wrong.  You just need a teenage daughter to point it out to you.  Also, invest in car tweezers now.  You're welcome. 

2. Acne....seriously, I have worse breakouts now than when I hit puberty.  And as my good friend pointed out, acne and chin hair on the same day is not funny at all.

3. Body parts...you still have them, they are just in different (lower) places.

4. You make noise getting out of bed in the morning.  Not chipper, happy noises, more like groans that you don't even realize are coming out of your mouth until your spouse also does it and then you are both laughing that you have to groan to get up.

5. Wrinkles.  Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT, look in the magnifying mirrors while walking past them in Bed, Bath and Beyond.  And if you own one, just throw it away.  No one, including you, need to see that close.  (unless you need it for plucking said facial hair)  I also have wrinkles on my hands which just seems old lady-ish to me. 

6. Eyesight - it's gonna go.  Just go ahead and grab a pair of readers now.

7. Hot flashes...I haven't had these yet but it seems like my internal thermometer is way off.  I get hot and I'm like "Oh my gosh, is this it?  Am I having a hot flash, why am I so hot all of a sudden?"  And then I'm fine.  What is that all about?  And I freeze when I go to the grocery store.  I don't even know who I am anymore. 

8. Clothing....you're too old for Forever 21 but is there a store that caters to middle age moms that want to look hip and cool but not have their (now lower) parts show?  Please let me know. I mean, I like a little stretch in my jeans to get them to button, but I don't like it to look like a pooped my pants by the end of the day either.  And distressed jeans stress me out because I can't put my legs in them without my foot coming out through one of the distressed areas and then I almost rip the whole leg off the pants trying to get it out.  Getting dressed should not be an aerobic workout. 

9. Sleep.  I love my sleep.  I've never had a problem sleeping until the last year or so.  I must wake up 10 times a night.  What is that about?  Do you not sleep when you get old?  I need my sleep! 

10. Time....all aspects of it.  There's not enough of it and it's going really fast.  What seems like 5 minutes ago was actually 5 months ago.  Your bedtime is now before your teenage kids and you can't sleep in like you used to.  

11.  Eating...I seriously have to think about what I'm going to eat now in conjunction with bed time, how I'm going to feel, will my rosacea flare up, will I get heart burn?  I just want some Doritos before bed without having to eat Tums in the night and looking like my face is sunburnt the next day. Is that too much to ask?

12. Emotions.  Can we say train wreck?  I'm used to the normal PMS type emotional roller coaster but this seems to be the steroid version.  Wowza. At my last check up my doctor asked if I had any premenopausal symptoms yet.  Um, excuse me?  What?  I'm only 41.  Doesn't that happen much later in life?  I still have teenagers, we can't all be going through these crazy hormonal changes at the same time.  My husband won't survive!  I won't survive.  Send chocolate.  Stat. 

13. Is this normal?  I feel like I have more weird ailments that I worry about now. Is this mole normal, is this brown spot getting bigger, did I have that bump last week, what is that cracking noise when I walk?  WebMd is not helpful because I obviously always go to worst case scenario.  

14.  Peeing.  Did you know that urinary incontinence is really common in women?  Like really common!  Because apparently carrying and birthing babies, breastfeeding and having a period for 30 plus years isn't enough, let's throw in peeing your pants.  I haven't had this problem...yet.  But I have to pee all the time now.  And if I sneeze more than 4 times in a row, I may have problems.  I watch a personal trainer on YouTube and he mentioned that most women can't do jumping jacks after a certain age because they pee their pants.  So ladies, if you can sneeze or do jumping jacks and not wet yourself, you deserve a pat on the back!  I also now have to think about how much I can drink if I'm going to be in the car and if there is an acceptable bathroom where I'm going. 

15.  People call you Ma'am now.  I know it's polite but it makes me feel like an old lady.  I prefer Miss or Hey Lady or really anything but Ma'am.  And you find yourself talking about a 20 year old and refering to them as a kid or young punk. 

16. I have to think about my footwear if I'm going to be out and about for the day.  Because apparently comfort trumps style now.

17.  I'm at the age that I say "out and about". 

18. Technology is beyond me.  I'm now the old lady that can't watch TV when her son or husband isn't home because I don't know how to work the remote.  And I don't want to learn. My kids try and teach me and get annoyed.  

19.  Change.  I don't like it.  The older you get, the harder change gets.  I'm not good with change to begin with but as I'm hit my 40's, I really don't like it.  I mean, this is pretty obvious if I can't even learn a new remote. 

20. Acceptance.  Ending the list with something good about being in my 40's.  Acceptance.  As I've gotten older, I've gotten more accepting of myself, my flaws, being happy where I'm at and what I'm doing and just really not worrying about the small stuff.  I mean, if I have to worry about possibly peeing my pants, do I really have time to worry about whether everyone likes me.  Probably not.  

I'm hoping this list gave you a laugh and didn't scare you too much!  It's all about being prepared.  I'm pretty lucky that I have some amazing girlfriends to go through this with.  One great thing about being 41 is that we are all comfortable in our own skin and can laugh about chin hair and acne.  Or maybe we are laughing so we don't cry?  Either way, go buy some readers and be ready!

20 years later....

Today is our 20 year wedding anniversary.  I'd love to say that we are jetting off on that honeymoon we never took but instead I'll be taking a kid to football practice while my husband teaches a night class.  We will see each other tonight around 8:30 for leftovers.  I'm okay with that because this is the phase we are in right now.  Looking at that picture above of those two young punks, I have so many things I want to tell them.  We were only 18, totally smitten with each other and thought we knew everything.  I mean, if he could love me with that rockin' mullet, we'd pretty much passed the worst hurdle, right?  As we stood in my mom's kitchen that day, we had just both come home for the weekend, me from ISU and RJ from College of DuPage.  He was playing football there so he'd been gone most of the summer.  We were so happy to see each other.  Now that we are passing the 20 year mark, I feel like I need to tell our 18 year old selves so many things.

Marriage is not all it's cracked up to be.  It's messy and ugly and different for every couple.  Luckily, our's is pretty great.  RJ told the kids a while back that marriage is "just two people that continue to choose each other every day".  I agree with that.

I would tell those two kids that it's going to be hard but it's going to be worth it.  I'd tell them there are days you are going to be broke, eating burnt Aldi pizza, but you are in this together.  I'd tell my 18 year old self to take a long look at his dad because he's going to be just like him...and have a son just like that.  (I lucked out on those!)

I'd tell her to always have snacks, especially on road trips because hangry isn't a good look on either of us.  I'd tell him to invest in a C-Pap machine early in the marriage because I need a lot of sleep.  I'd remind her never to eat off his plate because he doesn't share food. Wait until you have a daughter who likes to share meals.  And I'd tell him that she would be able to order for him at every single restaurant because he's very predictable.  I'd also let her know that the camping days won't last forever and all the bad words that were said while setting up the camper would be replaced with fun memories.

I'd tell those 18 year olds that they were young and needed to stay in college because when they were 40, they'd be tired and busy.  I'd tell them that there are days they really aren't going to like each other, but they will keep loving each other....and will like each other again shortly.  But mostly I'd tell them that hey - you got this!  You are gonna be fine.  You are gonna have an amazing family together.   Just keep choosing each other every single day.

So happy 20th babe, thanks for choosing me all those years ago!
Also, thanks for the flowers that just arrived while I was typing this!

Can we make this a thing?

My 20th wedding anniversary is this fall.  20 years.  It seems like just yesterday we were walking around our local Ace Hardware with a clipboard and pencil registering for skillets and bakeware.  Yes, I'm that old that they only had the registry scanner at Target.  My husband had a field day scanning everything from new towels, dishes, pots and pans and all the stuff we needed to build our home together.  We were young and in love.  And broke. In all honestly, we registered for exactly what we needed and nothing frivolous because we really just needed the cash to pay for the wedding.  We had very generous friends and family at my shower and the wedding.  I remember thinking, where in the world will we put all of this stuff.  Our apartment cabinets and closets were filled with all of our new goods and fluffy towels and we made our life together.

And now, here we are, 20 years later and we need new stuff.  I noticed today while folding laundry that my towels are getting frayed.  I put dishes away and saw a few chipped plates.  Our toaster takes way too long to toast.  And my silverware, well it's no longer a matched set.  Don't get me wrong, I am grateful to even have these things and very fortunate that I can go out and replace said items as needed but it got me thinking, I could really use another bridal shower.

It seems like just about everything gets celebrated these day.  From baby moons to push presents, sprinkles for your second child, new grandma showers, the list keeps growing.  Don't get me wrong, I love a good party and picking just the right gift.  I missed the boat on these because I had my kids back in 2001 and 2005, ya know, when your baby was the actual push gift and you had to buy your own stuff for your second baby, even if it was a different gender.  So since I missed out on those, I think we need to come up with an anniversary shower. Can we make this a thing?

Stay with me here for a minute.  You've been married for 20 years.  You are most likely at a point in your relationship where you are a homeowner.  You have kids, a mortgage, bills, college tuitions looming on the horizon and ratty towels.  You've made it through adjusting to each other, new babies, the toddler years to the teen years, you're now a united from and need new dishes to prove it.
Wouldn't it be amazing to have a shower at this age?  Think of how sensible you'd be when registering.  Who needs fancy china you only use once a year?  Not me, I'd like the plain white indestructible Corelle please!  And super thick towels that take seven hours to dry?  Nope!  Use your Kohl's cash and get me some cheap ones! I could even register on Amazon for those of you that like to shop from your couch.  It's like a dream come true...speaking of which, we need new pillows too. 

My husband and I didn't have a honeymoon and I always said that for our 20th anniversary, we'd go to Hawaii.  Well that's not happening and we are more likely to be in a carb coma after a meal at Biaggi's, so I think y'all need to make this anniversary shower a thing before September.  I mean, a girl can dream of a fancy rotating waffle iron, can't she? 

Surviving the teenage years

The Teenage Years: The Saga Continues

I was reading an article the other day about how hard it is to be a parent when your babies are little.

You endure sleepless nights and even longer days. You don't know if you are doing the right thing

or totally screwing up this tiny, little human.  The article was spot on and one I wish I had read when

I was in that phase. The problem is, we are way past that phase over here and guess what? This phase

is just as hard.  You see, my kids are teenagers.

Every phase of parenting comes with its own set of challenges.  When they are babies, you are learning
together. You have to decipher cries, go on little sleep, figure out feeding and napping schedules.  It's a
whole new ball game and is very overwhelming. Then you move on to the toddler years where they don't
sit still for a minute so you can't either.  Everything goes in their mouth from puffs to dog food and it's a
battle of wills. Adolescence may mean a little more independence because they are in school but that
can lead to a whole new set of worries from homework to juggling their activities to their social lives.   

Well guess what folks - rolls all that in to one and you get the teenage years!  You are back to sleepless
nights because now they are driving and even though you are tracking them like crazy on Life 360, are t
hey really being careful?  You are still trying to figure out feedings because they will have friends over and
eat everything in sight. And the naps? Well, they stay up until midnight so they really do need a nap after
school!   They don't sit still for a minute because they are so involved because if you aren't, well you may
miss something! They test their independence every chance they get. Yes, they think they are old enough
to drive out of town with a group of friends but they may not be responsible enough to get that permission
slip signed on time.  They juggle homework, jobs, extracurriculars and social media like pros but can't
manage to get their clothes in the hamper. Don’t even get me started on the hormones and mood
swings!

Let me tell you, this phase may be the hardest one yet.  While they are doing all those things you have
to decide when to step in and help and when to stand back and see what happens.  As long as we have
children, we are never done parenting but I feel like this last phase may be the most crucial. Because you
know what?  If I screw up at this point, they are going to remember. And some days, I feel like I'm really
screwing up. These are the years they are starting to figure out their lives, making important decisions
like college and careers and possibly moving away.  As parents, do we push them to spread their wings
even if we don’t agree or do we put our foot down because we can’t bear to see them make a mistake.
I don’t know if I can push my babies out of the nest without a guarantee that they can fly.

When my kids were little I saw a sign that said "The days are long but the years are short".  Now that my
kids are 13 and 16, I feel like the days are short too. I feel like we have such short time to turn these kids
into respectable, hardworking adults.  We have so many chances to teach them and just as many to screw
them up. They are going to do really stupid stuff and totally disappoint us. But you know what? They are
going to do just as many things to totally amaze us.  It may be something as simple as acing that Spanish
test they've been struggling with to being kind to a stranger. As a parent, those are the things we need to
focus on.

Parents of teens, hang in there.  We have a short time left to turn these kids into amazing adults.
Don’t beat yourself up when you have to make those hard decisions they don’t like.  We are going to make
mistakes and they are too, that’s why it’s called growing. In the end, we need to believe they can fly so they
believe it too.

Merry Christmas from the Rowlands

Typically by now my Christmas cards have been signed, sealed and delivered.  I would have spent time putting together outfits, picking just the right layout on the card, a funny saying, well you get the point.  This year that just didn't happen.  We did make one attempt. The only one that looked good was the dog.  We ran out of time to try again and really, it just wasn't worth the fight.  Also, if you are reading this, you are on facebook and know what we all look like anyway.

The holidays snuck up on me this year.  I hate when people say that because really, it's not like the date changes.  But this year was busier than normal and before I knew it, it was December 20th and there was still a lot to be done!  So I'm taking the easy way out and just sharing our Christmas letter via a blog post.  Plus, I haven't blogged in a while and my 7 followers are probably sad about that.

So if you are one of those people thinking...oh great, another braggy Christmas letter, mine isn't quite like that.  It's more real life.  And if you still don't like Christmas letters, then don't read it and just know that we are wishing you a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  For those of you that would like to know the little details of our lives and a review of our year, read on.

Let's see - where to start.

Libby is now 16.  She got her license in April.  I cried the first time she drove away by herself but quickly downloaded the Life 360 app and stalked her every move.  Yes, I'm that mom.  And yes, I'm okay with it.  She went to prom in the spring and started her junior year in the fall.  She was the chair of the homecoming committee and is a planner like her mama.  She's now at the age where talks of college and future plans are happening.  I don't like it one bit but am excited to see what her future holds.  She is a typical teen and some days is super snotty.  Luckily, those days are fewer and far between and she's mostly sweet.  She babysits often, is sometimes nice to her brother and loves spending time with her friends, gets good grades, watches Netflix and LOVES makeup.  She doesn't like to admit it but she's stubborn like her dad.  Overall, she's a great kid and we wouldn't trade her for anything.

Bobby is 12 and at that goony middle school age.  He doesn't really like school but still manages to get good grades.  If only he put in half the effort his sister did!  He loves all things hands on from computer building to woodworking to electronics.  His brain works very differently than mine and most days he amazes me. Usually, I have to remind him to wear deodorant but his knowledge of random facts is remarkable.  I'm pretty sure his Christmas list this year would get us on an FBI watchlist and I had no idea what most of it was.  His breadbox for his 4H woodworking project got all the highest awards at both the County and the State fair.  He played soccer this fall and is in the STEM group at school.  He loves riding his bike all over town and working out in the garage building stuff.  He is so much like RJ in the way he thinks outside the box and comes up with solutions.  And he's also always right...just like his dad.

RJ is busy as ever between his own projects (check out my new entertainment center on FB) and helping Bobby with his projects.  He's slowly checking stuff off my pinterest boards and I couldn't be happier.  He will be starting a new job in January as the Welding Instructor at DACC.  While he's loved his time at Parkland, he's very excited about this new opportunity.  He's been busy finishing up at his current job all while making plans for his new one.  He will probably have summers off too which is going to be an adjustment for all of us.  Bobby is hoping that means a new camper but Libby and I are still crossing our fingers for a boat instead! 

I decided to go back to school this year which was an adjustment for everyone.  Mom wasn't available to do every single thing.  If you watch The Goldberg's...it was a "Bevolution!"   I enjoyed my classes way more than I thought I would even though most of the young punks drove me crazy.  I wish I had been this focused at 19.  I have two more classes this spring and then I'm not sure what I will do from there.  I'm still doing freezer meals and have started volunteering with the Canteen Run.  Libby has forbid me from being too active in the HS but Bobby still likes me to help at his school on occasion. 

2017 was a year of many emotions for all of us.  There were lots of highs and lows.  We plan to end the year on a high and leave soon for a trip to Anna Maria Island.  I'm hoping maybe while we are there, I can get that one good family photo but I'm not counting on it! 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to each and every one of you!

Love,
Dana (and the rest of the clan who probably won't even read this)

If Mayberry had Facebook

Twelve years ago we decided we wanted to move.  We wanted a nice, small town where we could raise our kids but still be close to everything we wanted like Wal-Mart and Olive Garden.  We had a 6 month old and a 4 year old.  We looked at several small towns and after research, hearing everyone's opinions and lots of visits, we decided on St. Joseph.  The one thing we heard over and over was "the schools are great...there's no crime...it's a great community to raise kids"...and so on.  Since that fall of 2017, we have loved every minute of living here.  Everything we were told has been true.  Our kids are now in 6th and 10th grade and we have been thrilled with the school system and the community.  We are active in both and have nothing but good things to say about this small town that has now become home.  My father in law has mentioned on more than one occasion that we live in Mayberry. Y'all know what I'm talking about....good old Andy Griffith and his small town of Mayberry.  And what better place to live than a fictitious TV town where all the problems were solved in 30 minutes and it left you with a heart felt smile and warm, fuzzy feeling?  But recently, our own little Mayberry has taken a turn and I'm blaming Facebook.

When we first moved here, there was no Facebook.  Or if there was, it was still an innocent form of social media where you shared a random picture of your kiddos so your out of town relatives could see how big they were getting.  There was no place to post every single rant or complaint you had about a town.  There was no place to post for the millionth time on how a pool in our community would solve every single problem for every single person during the summer months and there sure wasn't a place to argue about whether we need another police officer or not.  If you wanted to discuss any of those things, I'm assuming you actually had to show your face at a village board meeting.  Whaaaatt??

Lately, our town has had a few minor incidents where someone is wreaking some havoc.  Someone has thrown eggs at cars, someone has knocked over a few mailboxes, someone has drawn a chalk penis on the sidewalk.  Notice I'm saying someone because we really don't know who...yes, it's probably a teenager but I've seen some adults also do some pretty stupid stuff in this town.  (Have you been to the beer tent during the Fall Festival? )  Maybe it's a middle schooler who is trying to impress someone, maybe it's a teen from another nearby town, maybe it's just a stupid high school student that thinks it's funny.  Maybe it's several different people and we're just lumping them all in to one deviant that is going to someday end up in jail.  But seriously, you guys, let's step back and take a deep breath.

We live in a town that's biggest problem is a chalk penis.  Yes, read that again.  We live in a town that's biggest problem is a chalk penis.  Last night, someone saw a teenager taunting a dog with an invisible fence and then said teen drew a chalk penis.  Facebook lost it's damn mind.  Currently the post has 37 comments.  It's a chalk penis.  It rained last night.  Said penis is gone.  The dog that was taunted?  It was ours.  Apparently this teen posted a snapchat video about it.  Our dog is fine.  If you know her, you'd know she's a complete spaz and would have been freaking out whether you were in the yard or across the street.  And seriously, to the teen that did this...I'm sure you're a good kid (yes I know who you are because everyone in town had to message me your name) but if you are going to do stupid stuff, your hair is dyed bright yellow.  People are gonna recognize you....if they didn't already see your snapchat story.  Duh.  I hope this was the end of your "life of crime" because you're not gonna make it far.  Stick to art.  Your penis drawing was much better than your thug skills.

I know some of the things that have happened recently have caused property damage and that is a more serious issue.  We did get egged and were lucky enough that we saw it and washed it off.  The $2.00 we had to spend at the carwash wasn't a big deal but if our mailbox got knocked over, I'm sure I'd be more upset.  You have a right to be upset.  These hoodlums shouldn't be doing this stuff.  But guess what, we still got it pretty good.  Last week, a 15 year old boy was beat up after school in Champaign and died.  Look at all these surrounding towns, big and small, and be thankful that it's a mailbox and not your kid.  Getting the word out on Facebook does help the rest of us keep our eyes open and aware of the situation but it also makes our town sound horrible.  Social media plays such a huge part in everyone's life now days.  I can't imagine wanting to move here and checking out the town's Facebook page and seeing all this drama.  Had I looked at that page 12 years ago, I may have made a different decision.  We are not portraying St. Joe as the "Mayberry" that it is and that makes me sad.  Instead, we are arguing about trivial matters and pointing our fingers at all the teenagers in our town.  I'm not naive, I know our town has its problems.  There are students here that are drinking (and worse) but for every few students that are doing that, there are ten times more doing amazing things.

I don't know what the answer is but it seems like every few days, the same 30 comments on a post argue over the same thing.  If you want a solution, don't be part of the problem.  Pointing fingers and ranting over the same issues isn't helping anyone and just making us all look bad.  Get involved.  Be active in the community.  Get to know your neighbors.  Get to know the teenagers that live near you, they really are good kids.  Go to a Village meeting.  Know the police officers that patrol and respect them.  If you see something, yes, it's fine to let people know but do it in a way that will help, not open a can of worms.

So remember folks, when you are posting stuff, let's bring back our Mayberry image.  Because, like me, I know you all love this town as much as I do.  I know you all mean well and I get caught up in the drama too and have commented on posts.  But lately, we are all flying our crazy flag just a little too high.  When you see a post, be positive.  If you see something good, let others know.  We need to let everyone know what a great place we live in whether it be Mayberry or St. Joseph.

Love your selfie

If you are on any type of social media, you know how popular selfies are now.  You can't scroll through Facebook, twitter or Instagram without seeing girls showing off their "selfie face".  Teenage girls love a good selfie.  They take LOTS of them to get that "one" perfect shot before they post it to social media which then results in all their friends liking the pictures and saying how great they look. Selfies aren't just limited to teen girls though.  I'm almost 40 (eek!) and love a good selfie.  Couples, families, groups...selfies don't discriminate.  On a date night with your love but don't have anyone to snap the pic? Selfie!  At a fun spot or showing off your Starbucks with your besties? Snap a selfie!

Recently there was a video circulating on social media.  It was a Southern lady imitating a group of girls.  They were out shopping and taking selfies.  She basically made fun of the "youth of today" and their picture taking habits.  I know she was trying to be funny.  I know she has a right to her opinion.  But still.  It really bothered me.  Maybe because I have a daughter close to the same age as the ones she was talking about?  Or maybe because in a world where a teenage girl's self esteem is so precarious, why would you do that?  Yes, the girls were flashing their peace signs.  Yes, they were sticking their tongues out.  Yes, they were giggling and taking their own pictures.  So what?  If you've been on any social media, you'd know that today's "tongue sticking out, hand signals" is yesterday's duck face.  It's a trend.  It looks stupid but we looked pretty stupid in the 90's with our big hair and tight rolled jeans too.  Why take time out of your day to post a video (that went viral by the way) just to be mean and make fun of those girls?  I just don't get it.  If you are worried about the youth of today, shouldn't we be trying to build them up?

Being a teenage girl (or boy for that matter) is hard.  It's awkward and stressful and dramatic and messy.  You're self conscious and unsure and hormonal.  You feel the pressure of sports and academics and extracurriculars.  I know the teens of today have way more on their plates than we did "back in the day."  If these kids can take a selfie and feel good about themselves, then let them.  If it takes 100 shots and you get one great one and can share it, go for it.  If you've got a great group of friends like my daughter does and they all tell you how great the picture is and "like" it, then that's even better.  Who doesn't want to post a selfie and hear how great they look?  I know I would love it!

I know some of my favorite pictures have been selfies.  Our Christmas card theme last year was actually all selfies.  I have so many more pictures now of myself and my kids and even more with my husband because it's so quick to just snap a selfie.  I guess my whole point of this post is to not judge.  If you see someone doing their "selfie face" or snapping several selfies until they get the best one, maybe they just want to feel good about their self.  After all, we should all love our selfie.  :)

And just to lighten the mood, I thought I'd share our most recent epic selfie.  My daughter was gone and wanted to know when we were meeting her, so I snapped this selfie of my husband and myself.  Needless to say, it was more for laughs than anything but I love it.  It makes me smile every time I look at it.

 Love your selfie...even if it's a bit ridiculous.  

Things I didn't know until I had a teenage daughter...

My daughter will be 15 soon.  I'm not sure when that happened.  She was seriously just dressing up as Ariel and playing on her princess bed with her Bitty Baby named Baby Sue.  And now she will be 15 in less than 2 months.  She's my oldest and while I've tried to teach her many things as she's grown up, there are many things I've learned from her.  Now, while this could be a sentimental post about how she's helped me grow as a mom, shown me how strong I can be, taught me how to love unconditionally, etc.  I'm going to go a different direction.  Because yes, she has taught me all those things and made me a better person but there are things I didn't know I would learn from my teen daughter.  Things that I can't believe I've lived almost 39 years without knowing.  Things that I'm pretty sure if you don't have a teenage daughter, you may not know.  Or maybe you do and I'm just that out of touch and need to go more places than Meijer and IGA.  But just incase you were in the dark like me, let me teach you a few things I've learned.

1.  Primer.  And not the kind for your walls.  Ladies - they make primer for your face.  What?  How am I almost 39 and am just learning of this amazing face spackle.  Seriously, you know how you prime your walls before painting...prime your face ladies.  Your makeup will last so much longer and everything is just smoother.  Um do they make a body primer?  They do also make eye primer but I'm not that cool.  Yet.

2.  Good, quality hair appliances.  Yes, you need the Chi.  Stop spending $20 every few years on cheaper straighteners and blow dryers.  Buy the Chi.  There's a warranty.  It's worth it.  And don't expect your daughter to share hers.  Buy your own.

3.  Speaking of hair, you need multiple hair appliances.  No, that one curling iron is not enough.  You need many sizes and they all do different things.  It doesn't matter that your bathroom cabinet now looks like a Regis Salon.  Buy the curling iron, the curling wand, the straightener.  Get it all.

4.  Makeup brushes, sponges, blending buds, oh my!  You need them all.  I don't know what half of them are for but you need them.  Guess what ladies - different eye brushes do different things.  Whaaattt??  She just got a new one in her Ipsy bag and I was like "What the heck do you do with that thing" and she was all "um, it's a smudger".  Apparently your finger or a q-tip is NOT equal.  And don't mention this as a substitution.

5.  Netflix.  I feel like I don't really need to explain this one but if you aren't caught up on ALL SEASONS of Friends, Grey's Anatomy, The Fosters and One Tree Hill....well I can't even talk to you.  And don't you dare post any spoiler alerts...even if its a series from 1998.  What????  Monica and Chandler get married?  Yes, I spoiled that one for her.

6.  Leggings.  In the land of high school girls, they are pants.  Butts must be covered in our house.  Once I was convinced to try these on, I was sold.  Granted, I wear really long shirts with mine but they are AH-MAZING.  Again, how have I lived my life this long without leggings?  (In my day we called them stirrups!)  It's like your not even wearing pants but your legs are still warm.  I can do high kicks in mine.  Sorry for that mental image.

7.  Uggs.  No, Bear Paws or other knock offs are not the same.  (I still wear the cheap ones)  But after finally letting her get the real thing this year, they are worth the money.  Hopefully she's not reading this because I'm so gonna get the "I told you so" on this one.

8.  Chin hairs.  Didn't know I had them.  Now she rips them out.  Even if I'm driving and she spots one.  I guess I'm thankful.....  We all need a daughter for this...or a really good friend.

9.  Fashion rules.  Somedays she's harder than Joan Rivers on Fashion Police.  Other days I just get "the look".  You know the one...big eyes, raised eyebrows, tilt of the head and "are you really gonna wear that out in public" look.  Needless to say, most purchases are approved by her and typically she is right.

10.  Hip Lingo.  Words and phrases like "On point" "On Fleek" "Squad"....I can't keep track of them all.  And as soon as I do figure one out and try to be cool and use it, it's already expired and a new phrase is being used.  I can't keep up.  So I'll just stick with my favorite when she gets mad at me..."Bye Felicia"

11.  Texting abbreviations.  IKR, KWIM, BRB.  I'll just stick with LOL even though I'm not LOLing when I have to google an abbreviation to figure out what she's saying.

12.  FaceTime.  Why call your friend when you can FaceTime them?  It's like Jetson's up in here.  I can't even go in her room and yell at her in my bra because most likely someone is on the screen and will see me.  What is this world coming to?

13.  Selfies.  I love a good selfie.  However, I can't take one.  Yes, according to teenage girls, there is a wrong and a right way to take a selfie.  And let me tell you, if you have a teenager around you, let them teach you.  I'm a work in progress but you better believe if I'm taking a selfie and she walks in and I'm not doing it right, I will get retaught.  Several times.  It's all about angles, lighting, filters, photography apps, I'm not gonna lie, it's a lot of work.  But let me tell you, the selfies she takes of us together are my favorites.  Girls got mad selfie skillz.  (that's not cool lingo but I don't care.)

14.  Eyebrows.  Apparently mine are wrong.  I'm not sure why or how to fix them but they are wrong.  Girls now fill them in?  What?  No more waxing just shaping?  Apparently, I need to grow mine in and then darken them.  So many rules.

15.  YouTube.  This one I have not fully embraced.  Did you know you can watch videos of what girls buy when they go shopping.  It's called a haul.  So they go shopping and then show you everything they bought, how to put outfits together, where to shop, brands, etc.  Yes, these girls are now famous YouTubers for shopping.  Sign. Me. Up.  Is there one for grocery shopping?  Can I go to Aldi and then show you what I bought?  Can we make this happen?

Am I the only one this out of touch?  Do you have a teenager who is appalled at your lack of knowledge?  I can't believe I could be alone in this?  Hopefully at least a few of you have learned something with me.  Like I said, my daughter has taught me so much.  She made me a mom, she taught me to love unconditionally, she will be my lifelong friend, and I know I will continue to learn from her, whether it be silly things like this or lasting lessons...and through it all, my eyebrows will hopefully be on fleek.  

It's just a phase....

There are a lot of things that parents warn you about as soon as they find out you're pregnant.  Everyone is a wealth of information and advice, even if it's unwanted.  They warn you about not eating lunchmeat and fish when you're pregnant.  They tell you to make sure you're getting enough sleep now because once that precious little one comes along, you will be up all night.  (Like any preggo woman is gonna turn down a nap?)  Then when the baby does arrive, you get to hear about poop schedules, nursing vs. formula, teething advice and how their baby was sleeping through the night by 2 weeks.  It continues through the toddler years with different ages they should be walking by, how many words they should be speaking and a pluthera of other milestones.

As a young mom, I tried to soak it all in.  I tried to read all the books and would have my list of questions ready for the pediatrician.  We didn't have pinterest back then for ideas on how to keep toddlers busy for more than 3 seconds and I couldn't google different images to know if a rash was "normal".  We had our moms, aunts, and friends to ask questions and learn from and we did our best.  There are things I miss about those days when my kids were younger.  While I was in the moment of diapers, lost pacifiers, teething and not knowing why my baby was crying, it seemed like those days were so long.  The days were long but the years have gone so fast.  There were many, many days when I would tell myself "this is just a phase".  Like when my daughter threw up every day of kindergarten...it's just a phase.  Or when my son had this nervous tick where he'd clear his throat every 5 seconds...it was just a phase.  While those phases seemed intense at the time, they really were just a phase.

As my kids have gotten older, the phases have changed.  We've gone through phases of drama, heartache, sickness, and pure joy.  Now that they are older, looking back, I miss those "simpler" phases.  Because in those early days, everyone had answers for you.  Whether they were right or wrong, a phone call to a friend or family, usually provided a wealth of advice on how to "fix" the problem.  Whether they were helping you solve the problems of sleeping through the night or how to get rid of a diaper rash, there were always words of wisdom.  We now have a son in middle school and a daughter in high school and the words of wisdom are starting to run dry.  It's not that our friends and family don't have advice, I just feel like at this phase everyone child is different and each situation is more unique.  Solutions for babies with rashes are much easier to come by than how do I help my 5th grader remember to turn his homework in?

At this phase, mistakes in parenting can have a much bigger impact.  After all, my son isn't going to remember that I cut the end off his pacifier so he wouldn't want it only to run to Wal-mart at 10:30 PM to buy a new one.  However, he is going to remember me sitting at the kitchen table for hours on end and getting frustrating with him and his homework.  My daughter isn't going to remember me sneaking in her room at night to make sure she had her blankie and puppy incase she woke up, but she will remember how I handled the situation when she came home with a broken phone.  My kids are at the age where I could really screw them up...and that's a hard phase to make it through.

So parents reading this, know we are in this together, regardless of how old your kids are right now. And remind yourself, it's just a phase...and hopefully we all make it through to the next one!

That's OKAY!

One of the things I enjoy most about my day is dinner time.  Not because I've slaved over a stove and at least one person is complaining about what we are having, but more so because I believe in family dinner every night.  As my kids have gotten older and schedules have conflicted with this, I feel it's even more important for all 4 of us to sit and have dinner together as many nights as possible.  This is when I try and ask questions that can't be answered with a simple yes or no.  We talk about our day, the good, the bad and the ugly parts.  This is usually when I hear stories about what happened at school, who got in trouble, what's going on the next day, about homework, etc.  It's the one hour in our busy lives where we are all connected.

Sometimes are dinner conversations are mundane, sometimes they are funny and sometimes they prompt bigger conversations and make me really think about the way we are parenting our children.  We've just recently had two similar conversations that really got me thinking and have lead in to further conversations.

Parenting is different today then when I was a kid.  My biggest worries revolved around what to wear, who I was sitting by at lunch and catching the newest episode of Full House.  Today's kids are exposed to SO MUCH MORE!  From the evening news to social media to the newspaper, our kids hear things about shootings, bombings, ISIS, drugs, violence, break ins, etc.  Even trying to shelter them or limiting their screen time doesn't always help.  Everything is just "out there" so much more and happening more frequently.  My husband is a Parkland employee and last week there was a bomb threat.  Back in our day, we would have cheered and thought "free day" but now those threats are taken seriously and you get out of there as quickly as possible.  Our kids have worries that are much bigger than ours.  One thing I don't want them to worry about is being accepted or accepting others.  So much on the news today focuses on certain groups and hate crimes.  I don't know statistics and don't pretend to be an expert but it seems that most of the crime is spread out among all group.  I don't want my children's perspectives and opinions to be based on what they hear or see on the news.

A few weeks ago while eating dinner my son started a conversation about a boy in his class.  He mentioned that this boy told him he was gay.  I was a little surprised because they are only in 5th grade.  We've had conversations about what this means in the past so I knew my son knew what it meant.  I asked him how he replied.  He said he thought it was stupid.  I was a little upset that he said that so I asked him to elaborate.  He said "I told him it was stupid because we are only in 5th grade.  He shouldn't have a girlfriend or a boyfriend because we are too young."  I had to smile at this.  It never occurred to him to judge him on his choices.  He thought it was perfectly acceptable for him to have a girlfriend OR boyfriend...just not at this age.  I explained to my son that his friend's choices may be different from his own but that is OKAY!

Last night at dinner, my daughter had a friend over who joined us.  We got to talking about one of their classmates and how much fun he is.  He is openly gay and very popular.  The girls were telling stories about what a nice guy he is, how smart, etc.  They told stories about other kids too and we learned all kinds of stuff about their fellow classmates.  After dinner my husband and I talked about how different our world is today.  Never, ever in our days in middle school would a student make such an announcement and I'm pretty sure if any high school student came out, they would have gotten beat up.  Kids are different.  They have different likes and dislikes.  They have different skin colors and they make different choices.  That is OKAY!

I want my kids to live in a world that is more accepting.  I want them to know that their choices don't have to be based on what their friend is choosing.  I want them to know that we will love and accept them regardless.  I know that some of their choices will be bad ones but I also hope that the good ones outweigh the bad.  They are going to make mistakes.  That is OKAY!  They are going to have friends different than us.  That is OKAY!  Their friends are going to have different beliefs and values.  That is OKAY too!  As parents we need to worry about instilling our own beliefs and values into our children and then allow them to experience the world and learn about others without judgement.  In Genesis 1:27 it says "God created man in his own image."  God created all of us and while some of us don't fit in to the "mold" that others want to perceive as perfect, that's OKAY!  And really, Jesus doesn't care how many bible verses we have memorized, he cares about the way we treat people.

I am a work in progress.  I know I have judged people and probably will continue to as I work on my flaws.  As my kids grow up I really need to focus on setting a better example.  I want my kids to treat people fairly and just be nice.  Really, is it that hard to be nice?  I don't care if you are white, brown or purple and I don't care if you are dating an Eve or a Steve, if you are nice, then I will treat you that same way.  It's not my place to judge.  Everyone has their own issues to deal with and it's not my business.  My kids have enough to deal with as they grown up, acceptance and accepting others shouldn't be one of them.  I'm proud of us for teaching them to be accepting and most importantly nice.  We don't have to like everyone, we don't even have to be friends with everyone.  But in today's world, it would all help if we were all just a little more accepting.  We don't all have to be the same.  People are different.  And that's OKAY!

A tribute to Cubs fans....

If you are living on planet Earth, you've probably heard by now that the Cubs won last night.  I didn't watch the game but my facebook page was blowing up with constant status updates of the score, pitching reference and pictures of people celebrating, not to mention the bad behavior of Mr. Rodriguez.

I don't watch baseball or any sport for that matter unless my kid is playing.  My husband doesn't really watch baseball on TV either.  I could probably only tell you the name of one or two players currently on the Cubs yet, I still call myself a Cubs fan.  I'm not someone who just jumped on the bandwagon.  I was raised by a die hard Cubs fan.

Though I am not an avid sports fan, I feel like Cub fans have something that other fans don't have.  Hope.  They have hope.  They've never given up on their boys in blue.  Every year is going to be "their year".  Every year they cheer them on.  They don't jump off the bandwagon when their team loses, they just say "maybe next year".  They are eternally hopeful.  Doesn't the world need a little more of that?

I haven't watch a Cubs game this entire season.  With social media, I still knew how well the Cubs were doing.  I have a friend who is a die hard fan so I can usually just check her page for any information I may need.  (Yes, you Cindy!)  I guess the reason I can say I'm still a Cubs fan is because of the great memories I have of the Cubs.

When I think of the Cubs, I think of friends and family.  I think of the past few summers of going to Wrigley Field with a group of friends.  I remember the fun we had at the game, even though we froze one year and were sweaty messes the next year.  I remember good times at the Cubby Bear where it's so packed you are literally surrounded by Cubs fans.  I remember getting to miss school one May to go to the Cubs game with my family in 5th grade.  It was a rain out but seeing the players slide across the tarps was a blast.

My dad has always been a Cubs Fan and still probably has the shiny blue Cubs coat from the 80's.  When we went to Wrigley, it meant going with family because he hated the Chicago traffic.  One time he was following my uncle so closely, he rear ended him.  We didn't have social media growing up but we had WGN, channel 9.  Harry Caray was part of my childhood.  We didn't need facebook updates to know when the game was won because my dad and our neighbor would be outside having a cold one and celebrating.  This was before the "W" flag was flown but we could count on our neighbor, Jim, coming out and saying "holy cow" in his best Harry Caray voice.  My favorite players were Ryne Sandberg and I even had a big pin with Rick Sutcliffe's picture on it.

So while I may not be watching all the games, I'm still rooting for the Cubbies.  A friend of ours from high school recently lost his battle to cancer and he really wanted to see the Cubs win the World Series before he died.  I know he's up there watching them with the best seat in the house.  I know all the Cub fans are full of hope for this team.  And the world needs more hope.  So with that being said, Carry on Cub fans, carry on!

What are we waiting for?

This past weekend we celebrated the life of my husband's grandfather.  He passed away at the age of 91.  As we gathered this weekend, everyone shared stories, memories and pictures and it was apparent that he was loved by many and has left behind an amazing legacy in his family.

While it was sad circumstances, it was a weekend shared with family that we very rarely see.  Most of my husband's cousins (much like my own) are close to our age and now have kids of their own.  Also like my cousins, they have spread their wings and grown and moved to different areas.  Even our family has moved two hours from "home".  

Growing up we always had big family Christmases and family reunions.  Between my parents and all their siblings, I have around 40 first cousins so holidays were filled with kids in all the age ranges and there was never a dull (or quiet) moment.  While we didn't live in the same town, most of us were within a hour or two so we knew that we would see each other several times throughout the year.  At the time, I never really thought about the planning it took or whether or not I'd see them, I just took it for granted.  We went to cousin's weddings and baby showers and caught up on each others lives.  And then life got busy.

This summer we had a family reunion and I found myself introducing my kids to my cousins and their kids.  I did it again this past weekend at the funeral.  And both times I thought to myself, shouldn't they already know these people?  Granted, we are close with our immediate family, our siblings, grandparents, etc.  But what about this huge circle of people that share our names, our history, our memories?

My son mentioned to me on the way home how we should really see these cousins more often.  And he's right, we should.  There were a few there that even though I see them rarely, I felt like I knew them well enough because of Facebook.  Is that good or bad?  I love Facebook and the ability to "watch" these kids grow up through pictures and stories but is that keeping me from picking up the phone and having a conversation.  If it wasn't for Facebook, would I pick up the phone?  Or would we not know them at all?  I'd like to think I'd stay in touch but if we can't even arrange a get together, maybe it wouldn't be that easy.  

Listening to all the stories this weekend, it put a smile on my face.  It was sad to know that it took the death of a loved one to bring us all together.  I know his grandpa would have loved for us all to get together while he was living and he would have had his own stories to share.  I believe that my husband and son get their story telling skills from him.  I smiled though knowing that he was watching over us and probably chuckling at some of the stories too.  It was wonderful to hear everyone's memories or different versions of stories I already knew.  I think they all learned new things about their family and each other.  

Looking back over the weekend it makes me wonder what we are waiting for?  Are we waiting to see family at the next wedding or does it take another funeral?  Everyone is busy.  Kids are more involved now than they were 20 years ago, parents are busier.  We are always on our phone and even though we may be on Facebook looking at a cousin's status update, is it really the same?  Yes our kids have soccer and baseball and clubs they are in and yes there are repercussions to missing those events but are we sacrificing family time for that?  Finding a balance is hard.  

So my husband and I have been talking.  He hates group vacations but may be willing to compromise slightly.  We are going to make more of an effort.  Family is first.  I want my kids to have stories to tell with their cousins.  I want them to know their history and hear stories about us when we were kids.  I want them to know the names of their great aunts and great uncles and who belongs to whom.  So family - get ready.  If you don't have a guest room, we may pull up in our camper!  Either way, I don't want to sit here wondering...what am I waiting for?

Bathroom water

Most of you have probably heard about our "Great Flood of '15".  But for those of you who haven't seen my posts of complaints, here's a recap and a funny story to go along with it.

Keep in mind as you read this that there may be some grammatical errors because ServPro is currently nailing down the 70 bazillion staples and nail that are still left in the subfloor of the kitchen.
A few weeks ago our washer broke and flooded the laundry room, pantry and kitchen area.  Luckily, we were home and were able to clean up the water quickly.  We found out that the Samsung washer we had is junk and even after the repairman fixed it three times, it broke again.  That resulted in another flood.  The water got under/behind the cabinets, under the vinyl floor, basically everywhere except on the nasty carpet we've been wanting to replace.

ServPro was on the scene quickly with their green fans (12 of them) and then the "fun" began.  My kitchen has now been emptied into the garage.  They came on Friday and ripped up the vinyl and under lament.  All the cabinets are out, it's a mess.  Even though they hung plastic blocking off the rest of the house, the tape didn't hold so all the dust is everywhere.  The people who lived here prior to us had cats and it stirred all that up I think.  Needless to say, my eyes feel like they have been dipped in sand and I can't stop sneezing.  My poor son is the same.  In the midst of this, RJ's grandpa passed away so we stayed in a hotel this weekend (where we also came upon more green fans) but as soon as we came home the itchy eyes and sneezing returned.  It is not fun.

Today we have to pick out new flooring and a new washer.  I think we are also getting a new fridge since the other one is old, doesn't match and is already in the garage.  (super excited about a new fridge!!).  When we tore up the floor, we realized that the sliding glass door was also leaking so we are now replacing that too.

I'm already tired of eating out and not having a kitchen.  I'm stocking up on microwave meals today because that's about the only thing left in the kitchen.  I'm pretty much over it and now know for certain that I could never handle a major renovation.  I hate chaos and not being organized and my kids do too.

So through it all we've tried to be positive.  In the big scheme of things, what's two weeks or so without a kitchen.  Our insurance company and agent (Todd Jacob, State Farm) has been great and very prompt with all of their help.  ServPro has been fine although they aren't happy that RJ just informed them they needed to vacuum instead of sweep due to our allergies.  But they have been on time and very quick in removing what needed to be gone.  It could have been much worse.

My son is very picky and does not like to eat out or even eat carry out.  He likes to eat his mom's food at his house.  The dust is driving him crazy and he's a bit OCD about his food, etc.  He's having a hard time eating at a card table in the dusty living room.  The first night we were without a kitchen he was getting ready for bed.  The kitchen is blocked off completely so we have to go outside and through the garage to get to the fridge.  It's bedtime and he brings out his water bottle that he takes to bed with him.  We were out of bottled water but he usually just fills it from the kitchen sink anyway. I told him that I would just fill it from the bathroom sink.  He informed me that he did not drink bathroom water and asked me to just leave the water in there and add ice.  I just laughed because I didn't really think there was a difference.  I walked out to the garage to get ice and without even thinking, emptied his water bottle in to the grass.  Oops! But then I realized that he was already in bed waiting so there was no way he was going to know!  I filled it with ice, snuck in to the bathroom and filled it with water.

I tucked him in and put his water bottle by his bed and he asked if I just left the water in there and I lied and said yes.  I mean really, why cause unnecessary drama?  I start to leave the room and hear him taking a drink.  And then I hear it....

"Mom...you are a liar!  This is bathroom water!"

I just started laughing.  I have no idea how he could tell a difference but he did!  Needless to say, he got a quick speech about all the unfortunate kids in the world who would love to have bathroom water.  Now he's been drinking bathroom water every night.

Sometimes we just have to laugh and make the best of a bad situation.  Granted, I've complained and whined through it some days but that's not going to make it any better.  Yes, ServPro is hear and have been pounding hammers for 37 minutes straight and I'm sure it will continue for  quite a while longer but on the bright side, we have insurance to cover it.  And when it's all said and done, maybe I will make a toast in my new kitchen with a glass of bathroom water!

The morning after....A Mother's Day PSA

As I'm cleaning house today there are all kinds of shows on about Mother's Day.  One showed glittery crafts and projects that you can do with your children for a "fun Mother's Day activity".  I'm pretty sure whoever came up with that statement has never had the job of cleaning up glitter.  And it was probably a man.

I feel like it is my civic duty as a mother to let all of the world know that we don't want to do projects with our kids on Mother's Day.  We don't even really want them to bother us.  I love my children more than anything but I don't want to deal with them on Mother's Day.  About 80% of you are thinking, Yes!  Finally someone gets it.  The other 20% of you are liars or just haven't reached that point yet.  Just wait.  It will happen.

Now I love my little darlings and do want to be with them on Mother's Day in a fun and drama free way.  I guess I should clear it up for you dads that just aren't getting it yet.  I don't want to referee, I don't want to wipe butts, I don't want to clean, I don't want to prepare meals, I don't even want to dispense medicine or think about planning something to do.  Basically, I want to be a dad for the day.  Can you make that happen??  Maybe just for 8-10 hours?

My kids are older now (14 & 10) so they are pretty self sufficient.  Most things they can do for themselves or I just do because it's easier.  I haven't had to wipe butts in several years but I did have to clean poop off the dog this morning.  (I will not be doing that on Sunday.)  When my kids were younger, they'd bring home handmade gifts or poems and I loved it.  I even cried over a few.  Moms eat that up.  My husband would make a big deal of taking them shopping to get a gift.  It was a production.  The last few years I've gotten a mani/pedi gift card.  I love it but where's the thought?  I know he ran by the place on Friday on his way home and got it and that's fine.  But then there's all the questions...what do you want to eat, where do you want to go, what should we do?  Um, isn't that part of the "gift" too?  I plan 99% of our family activities, I don't want to plan this one.  Make some effort dads.  Put some thought into it.  We carried each of your children for 9 months and then birthed them...and for those of you with big heads...maybe throw in an extra gift!

What moms really want is to not have to do their every day tasks of being a mom.  We grew humans for goodness sakes!  Show us some love.  And this is the part that gets fuzzy for most men....we don't want to do our daily task....which is code for WE WANT YOU TO DO THEM!!!!  There's the secret men!  When we say we "don't want to do anything" on Mother's Day, it really means that everything we aren't doing that day, YOU NEED TO DO!  That doesn't mean just making the kids do it.  You ALL need to do it.  The morning after shouldn't be full of dirty laundry, a messy house, a sink full of dishes because we took a day off.  When asked what we want for Mother's Day, we aren't going to list chores for you to do because most likely it's not going to happen.  But that's what we want.  We want to be pampered and loved and appreciated.  We want to know that you see all the little things that we are doing on a daily basis to keep the children alive and the house afloat.  We want you to notice and say thank you without us having to point it out.  We want you to throw a load of laundry in and clean the toilet.  We want you to prepare a meal and clean up afterwards and be patient when everyone complains about what you made and one is crying because he doesn't like brown rice.  We want you to wash the dog and her bedding and wipe the poop off her fur.  And we want you to just do it all with a smile because you love us and want us to be happy and to feel loved.  We don't want you to point out how easy it was or how we've got it made because you did it all and it wasn't a big deal. Just do it and smile and move on to the next toilet.  Then maybe the morning after Mother's Day won't be so bad for any of us.

Dog with a blog

Have you guys ever watched that stupid Disney show called "Dog with a Blog".  It's pretty corny. The dog has his own blog and writes about the family.  Well yesterday I posted a picture of our puppy on facebook and a friend said I should have the dog write a blog post.  Brilliant, why didn't I think of this sooner.  So without further ado, here is Rebel's first post.

Hello from Rebel!
I'm an almost 6 month old Standard Schnauzer and am living it up with my new family.  So far I have it pretty good.  I've been with these 4 for almost 4 months which is most of my life.  They spent a fortune on my and then gave me a stupid name like Rebel so I feel like I have to live up to it.

There are 4 people that live here and I think I have them pretty much figured out.  

The girl doesn't have too much to do with me.  She pets me and will occasionally throw a ball.  She loved me when I was smaller and could put clothes on me but now that I've ripped two pairs of her favorite leggings and her new shirt, she isn't as thrilled with me.  Her room is off limits but when I do manage to get in there, I immediately grab anything I can get my teeth on like make up brushes, ear buds, kleenex, well you get the idea.  I just want to be one of the girls!  Her EOS lip balm is my fave.

Then there is the boy.  He's probably my favorite.  He plays with me and takes me on walks.  When I go on walks with him, I don't have to behave. At. All.  We basically run the whole time and splash in the puddles.  He plays ball with me and lays on the floor with my after school.  He wears these clothes that taste amazing!  His Nike apparel is seriously my catnip!  For some reason I get yelled at when I taste it.  I haven't really figured that one out yet.  My favorite thing is to lay on his back.  And he lets me!   I used to be able to go in his room and loved to lay on his vent but now he's building something called a Lego project and I'm forbidden.  I tried to help him build something but apparently when legos are covered in my crap, he doesn't want them anymore?

Then there is the mom.  I spend most of my day with her.  She thinks my name is No.  I'm not sure why but she calls me that all the time.  We play games all day long!!  Some of them include chase (when I steal stuff from the laundry basket) yelling chase (when I steal stuff from the garbage) you stupid dog (when I lick the clean dishes in the dishwasher) or my favorite which is mud on the carpet.  That game is so fun!  I basically go outside and see how muddy I can get in 7 seconds.  Then, since I'm black and she can't tell I'm muddy, she lets me off my leash and I run as fast as I can all over the carpet!!  I try to cover as much ground as possible.  I really think she likes it because she starts chasing me and yelling "NO" like she's cheering me on so I keep going!   Then when the carpet is good and muddy, I take a break in my kennel and she crawls around counting the spots...or maybe she's cleaning them up?  I'm not sure.  I just know that I won because she's really mad that she lost.  Poor loser.

The mom may have some confusion issues, I'm not sure.  One day I jumped up and knocked her water on to her laptop.  She yelled "Son of a bitch"  and duh...I'm a daughter of a bitch. Get it right mom.  Anyway, we spend a lot of time together.  Some times I miss her so much I cry for her in the night so she can come and see me.  She never seems as happy to see me though as I am to see her.  She also loves when I bark at stuff...like leaves, my bone, birds, the wind.  We are working on our relationship issues but I know in time she will come around to love me.  Maybe if I stop wrapping my leash around every single thing possible she will like me a little sooner.  Hmmm, something to consider.

Then there is this guy called the Pack Leader.  I'm not sure of his real name or why he calls himself that.  All I know is that after 8 hours of playing all those fun games with the mom, I am exhausted when he comes home so I'm very well behaved.  Maybe that's why he thinks he's the Pack Leader?  He plays with me and calls me his big sweetie.  He lays on the floor with me.  On nights he doesn't lay on the floor I go to the door 97 times until I trick him in to getting up.  One time he didn't lay on the floor by me, so I decided to pee next to his chair.  Take that Pack Leader!  He gives me hair cuts and clips my toenails.  I don't like either.  Last time he clipped my nails, I thrashed around and he ended up cutting one too short.  Looked like a murder scene but the Pack Leader hasn't tried it again.  Winning!  I'm pretty sure he wants to be my bestie but the verdict is still out.  I'm pretty sure a few more trips to Pet Smart and Rural King will seal the deal though.  Although we may not be welcome back at Rural King.  Last time he let the boy push me around in a cart and I peed all over.  May have to rethink that.

Anyway, every day is something new that I have to teach these folks.  I have a pretty good gig going here.  I don't know how often I will post because it really takes away from my game time with mom!  Plus with spring coming, there are going to be a lot of birds to bark at and mud to get in to!

Until next time!

Rebel