There are a lot of things that parents warn you about as soon as they find out you're pregnant. Everyone is a wealth of information and advice, even if it's unwanted. They warn you about not eating lunchmeat and fish when you're pregnant. They tell you to make sure you're getting enough sleep now because once that precious little one comes along, you will be up all night. (Like any preggo woman is gonna turn down a nap?) Then when the baby does arrive, you get to hear about poop schedules, nursing vs. formula, teething advice and how their baby was sleeping through the night by 2 weeks. It continues through the toddler years with different ages they should be walking by, how many words they should be speaking and a pluthera of other milestones.
As a young mom, I tried to soak it all in. I tried to read all the books and would have my list of questions ready for the pediatrician. We didn't have pinterest back then for ideas on how to keep toddlers busy for more than 3 seconds and I couldn't google different images to know if a rash was "normal". We had our moms, aunts, and friends to ask questions and learn from and we did our best. There are things I miss about those days when my kids were younger. While I was in the moment of diapers, lost pacifiers, teething and not knowing why my baby was crying, it seemed like those days were so long. The days were long but the years have gone so fast. There were many, many days when I would tell myself "this is just a phase". Like when my daughter threw up every day of kindergarten...it's just a phase. Or when my son had this nervous tick where he'd clear his throat every 5 seconds...it was just a phase. While those phases seemed intense at the time, they really were just a phase.
As my kids have gotten older, the phases have changed. We've gone through phases of drama, heartache, sickness, and pure joy. Now that they are older, looking back, I miss those "simpler" phases. Because in those early days, everyone had answers for you. Whether they were right or wrong, a phone call to a friend or family, usually provided a wealth of advice on how to "fix" the problem. Whether they were helping you solve the problems of sleeping through the night or how to get rid of a diaper rash, there were always words of wisdom. We now have a son in middle school and a daughter in high school and the words of wisdom are starting to run dry. It's not that our friends and family don't have advice, I just feel like at this phase everyone child is different and each situation is more unique. Solutions for babies with rashes are much easier to come by than how do I help my 5th grader remember to turn his homework in?
At this phase, mistakes in parenting can have a much bigger impact. After all, my son isn't going to remember that I cut the end off his pacifier so he wouldn't want it only to run to Wal-mart at 10:30 PM to buy a new one. However, he is going to remember me sitting at the kitchen table for hours on end and getting frustrating with him and his homework. My daughter isn't going to remember me sneaking in her room at night to make sure she had her blankie and puppy incase she woke up, but she will remember how I handled the situation when she came home with a broken phone. My kids are at the age where I could really screw them up...and that's a hard phase to make it through.
So parents reading this, know we are in this together, regardless of how old your kids are right now. And remind yourself, it's just a phase...and hopefully we all make it through to the next one!
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