My daughter was born in 2001 and we lived in a town where we knew no one. My husband and I both commuted for work so we had friends in other towns, but no one close by. We were the first in our group of friends from high school (now 2 hours away) to have kids so none of those friends really knew what we were going through. Most of them were still living the single life. I loved that time with just the three of us but it wasn't really what I was expecting from motherhood. I didn't really have another mom to share stuff with, to ask "is this normal", or just hang out with in general. We both worked and my husband also went to apprentice school so our social life was nonexistent.
Skip to 2005 and my son being born. When he was born, I quit my job to stay home with the kids and we moved to a new town to be closer to my husband's job. So now I have a 6 month old and a 4 year old and not a single friend nor did I know a single person. The week we moved here I told my husband that I was going to get involved in the community because I would need an outlet and friends. We moved here in the fall and my daughter started preschool the next week. All of the moms were so nice and many of them stayed at home too. We started meeting at the park or McDonald's play land with the kids. I had several neighbors that also had little kids and stayed home and it was great. But I still didn't have that close group of friends I was striving for.
That winter, I nervously went to my first Women's Club meeting. It was at a person's home...I had no idea where it was located or what I would be walking in to. I pulled up in front of a house, took a deep breath and went in. Little did I know, I would find my "people" there. The meeting was at a lady named Melissa's house. She was super nice. Her girls were close to my daughter's age. It was there I also met a lady named Erin. We realized that her son was my daughter's age and she had twin girls the same age as my son. We chatted a little that night and went about our way. I continued to go to the monthly meetings and someone there invited me to a MOPS group.
A few months later I went to my first MOPS meeting at a local church. It was there that I met a lady named Cindy who had kids close in age to my kids. Her daughter would end up in preschool with my son. Turns out the next year, my daughter, Erin's son and Cindy's son all ended up in the same kindergarten class. My daughter had a very rough year and it was Erin (who is a first grade teacher) who pulled me aside and gave me a big hug on a particularly rough morning. She probably didn't even realize at the time how much that meant to me.
Slowly, I began seeing these ladies at more places. When you live in a small town, your lives overlap quite a bit especially when you have kids. I got involved with helping at the school and met another teacher there named Christina. By the time her family moved to town in 2009, she was also part of my new "family". Her kids were close in age to all of ours too.
Why am I telling you all of this? Because if you are a new mom or an old mom or your kids are about to leave the nest, finding your tribe is so important. It can be a tribe of 2 or 20 but having those moms to lean on is so valuable. These are the ladies that I know I can call on at any time of the day or night. These are the ladies that make me laugh until I cry. They love my kids and laugh at my husband's stupid jokes even though we have a pact not to do that. They encourage me and tell me when I'm being crazy and convince me (sometimes) not to cut my hair.
These ladies have been with me through just about all the phases of motherhood. We've survived grade school and school projects and field trips. We've been through rough days of middle school and homework dilemmas. We've picked up each others kids and taken dinners to each other. We've been through the loss of loved ones, marital problems and some of the funnest times of my life! We've danced until the wee hours of the morning and taken road trips together. And just recently, we've been the moms of high school graduates and are now navigating the phase of "mom of college student". And bonus - now our kids are old enough that we don't even have to find babysitters anymore!
I'm very fortunate to have a few more friends in my tribe than just these fantastic four but they were my very first friends here and I'm so thankful for them. Don't be afraid to put yourself out there. Don't be afraid to show up to a meeting or a new place and not know a single person in the room. Take a step out of your comfort zone. Smile at someone and introduce yourself. Most likely, someone else in that room is in the same place as you. You may just be as lucky as I was and find your tribe.
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