Dog with a blog

Have you guys ever watched that stupid Disney show called "Dog with a Blog".  It's pretty corny. The dog has his own blog and writes about the family.  Well yesterday I posted a picture of our puppy on facebook and a friend said I should have the dog write a blog post.  Brilliant, why didn't I think of this sooner.  So without further ado, here is Rebel's first post.

Hello from Rebel!
I'm an almost 6 month old Standard Schnauzer and am living it up with my new family.  So far I have it pretty good.  I've been with these 4 for almost 4 months which is most of my life.  They spent a fortune on my and then gave me a stupid name like Rebel so I feel like I have to live up to it.

There are 4 people that live here and I think I have them pretty much figured out.  

The girl doesn't have too much to do with me.  She pets me and will occasionally throw a ball.  She loved me when I was smaller and could put clothes on me but now that I've ripped two pairs of her favorite leggings and her new shirt, she isn't as thrilled with me.  Her room is off limits but when I do manage to get in there, I immediately grab anything I can get my teeth on like make up brushes, ear buds, kleenex, well you get the idea.  I just want to be one of the girls!  Her EOS lip balm is my fave.

Then there is the boy.  He's probably my favorite.  He plays with me and takes me on walks.  When I go on walks with him, I don't have to behave. At. All.  We basically run the whole time and splash in the puddles.  He plays ball with me and lays on the floor with my after school.  He wears these clothes that taste amazing!  His Nike apparel is seriously my catnip!  For some reason I get yelled at when I taste it.  I haven't really figured that one out yet.  My favorite thing is to lay on his back.  And he lets me!   I used to be able to go in his room and loved to lay on his vent but now he's building something called a Lego project and I'm forbidden.  I tried to help him build something but apparently when legos are covered in my crap, he doesn't want them anymore?

Then there is the mom.  I spend most of my day with her.  She thinks my name is No.  I'm not sure why but she calls me that all the time.  We play games all day long!!  Some of them include chase (when I steal stuff from the laundry basket) yelling chase (when I steal stuff from the garbage) you stupid dog (when I lick the clean dishes in the dishwasher) or my favorite which is mud on the carpet.  That game is so fun!  I basically go outside and see how muddy I can get in 7 seconds.  Then, since I'm black and she can't tell I'm muddy, she lets me off my leash and I run as fast as I can all over the carpet!!  I try to cover as much ground as possible.  I really think she likes it because she starts chasing me and yelling "NO" like she's cheering me on so I keep going!   Then when the carpet is good and muddy, I take a break in my kennel and she crawls around counting the spots...or maybe she's cleaning them up?  I'm not sure.  I just know that I won because she's really mad that she lost.  Poor loser.

The mom may have some confusion issues, I'm not sure.  One day I jumped up and knocked her water on to her laptop.  She yelled "Son of a bitch"  and duh...I'm a daughter of a bitch. Get it right mom.  Anyway, we spend a lot of time together.  Some times I miss her so much I cry for her in the night so she can come and see me.  She never seems as happy to see me though as I am to see her.  She also loves when I bark at stuff...like leaves, my bone, birds, the wind.  We are working on our relationship issues but I know in time she will come around to love me.  Maybe if I stop wrapping my leash around every single thing possible she will like me a little sooner.  Hmmm, something to consider.

Then there is this guy called the Pack Leader.  I'm not sure of his real name or why he calls himself that.  All I know is that after 8 hours of playing all those fun games with the mom, I am exhausted when he comes home so I'm very well behaved.  Maybe that's why he thinks he's the Pack Leader?  He plays with me and calls me his big sweetie.  He lays on the floor with me.  On nights he doesn't lay on the floor I go to the door 97 times until I trick him in to getting up.  One time he didn't lay on the floor by me, so I decided to pee next to his chair.  Take that Pack Leader!  He gives me hair cuts and clips my toenails.  I don't like either.  Last time he clipped my nails, I thrashed around and he ended up cutting one too short.  Looked like a murder scene but the Pack Leader hasn't tried it again.  Winning!  I'm pretty sure he wants to be my bestie but the verdict is still out.  I'm pretty sure a few more trips to Pet Smart and Rural King will seal the deal though.  Although we may not be welcome back at Rural King.  Last time he let the boy push me around in a cart and I peed all over.  May have to rethink that.

Anyway, every day is something new that I have to teach these folks.  I have a pretty good gig going here.  I don't know how often I will post because it really takes away from my game time with mom!  Plus with spring coming, there are going to be a lot of birds to bark at and mud to get in to!

Until next time!

Rebel