Christmas is upon us. It's only 11 days away. I've done pretty good so far this year. House is decorated, presents are wrapped. Almost everything is bought. Almost. There is always that one gift that your child sees on TV that they just HAVE to have. And then you rush out like a mad woman to get it. But then one child has an extra present so you have to go get another gift and it's just a never ending cycle.
I'm sure we've had some entertaining things happen around here but with all the holiday hoopla, I just can't seem to remember any of it. So I thought I'd leave you with some tidbits of joy that my kids have said the past few weeks.
From the son:
Mom - if Santa brings you coal, do you still get presents from you parents?
I guess he wants to make sure he's getting at least a few presents!
Mom - if Dad broke both of his arms, would you have to wipe his butt for him?
I have no idea where this even came from. And lets just pray it never happens.
Mom - I'm too tired to walk after my shower can you drag me to the living room?
FYI - don't ever do this because your baby boy's legs will get extremely rug burned and you will feel awful for days. I didn't do this, but just saying in case you were thinking about it.
Mom - when I get old I'm going to build a house and there is going to be a secret tunnel to a house for you so that when it snows you don't have to go outside to come over. And there is going to be a slide so you can just slide all the way to my house because you will be too old to walk.
Wow, that's really nice of you. When are you going to build this house?
When I'm 20 because then you will be REALLY old. (FYI - I'll only be 48 when he's 20. Apparently that's ancient)
After putting on his wrestling singlet - Mom, this outfit is so stupid, it makes my weiner look big!
Well it's better than making your butt look big! Because really, how else does a mother respond to this?
And the best for last -
Mom - wouldn't it be awesome if Santa got stuck in the chimney and we could just go up there and take all the presents out of his sleigh and I bet there would be a flat screen tv in there and I could have it in my room and my sister would be so mad and then we could help Santa out and he wouldn't know we took the presents because we would still give him his cookies and he would give us a ride in his sleigh and then when he got back to the north pole I would be hidden in the toy bag and could be a secret spy and see how everything was made.
But son, all the other kids would be sad if they didn't get their toys.
Well then I wouldn't take all the toys just the TV so my sister would be mad but I'd see if there was another one for her too.
So glad that he's thinking of others.
From the daughter -
If I don't get a cell phone for Christmas, I am going to be the ONLY one in the entire Middle School without one.
Why can't I get new clothes, all of my clothes are so stupid and do you want me to look stupid at school? Why do I have to wait until Christmas to get new clothes, I guess by then I just won't have any friends.
I have no response to either of these because I'm picking my battles. So far, I've picked all the wrong ones.
So with that, I wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Holiday happenings...
The holidays are upon us. Yesterday was Halloween, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Okay, not really but it does seem like time is moving that quickly. There is so much to do, so many people to see, so many gifts to buy, so many cookies to eat, so much money to spend. The older these kids get, the more expensive the presents become!
With the holidays comes stress. Lots of it. We do it to ourselves. We have to find that one perfect gift or find that one perfect Christmas outfit for the Holiday program. We make things so much harder than it has to be. And by we - I really mean me. But I'm sure I'm not the only one.
When I picture Christmas, it's your typical Norman Rockwell calendar picture for the month of December. Cute little kids are hugging in front of fire with warm mugs of hot cocoa. The husband and wife are looking on with their arms around each other. They are probably kissing under a mistletoe and there is a beautiful dinner spread out behind them that their private chef cooked. I'm 50 lbs. thinner and have hair like Christina Applegate. My kids aren't fighting over the remote and my husband isn't complaining about the 5 Christmas trees I've set up. The maid is in the background just waiting to clean up after us. Oh and there is a new Cadillac DTS I can spot out the window (because I'm always thinking of my husband and his wants and needs.) My house is spotless and has a basement. Yes, in my dreams, I have a basement.
But as we all know, it's not like that at all. I think the build up to Christmas is just that...a build up...only to be let down. The real picture is something like this: the kids are fighting over who's turn it is to watch a show because apparently the 17 hours of TV they've already watched that day isn't enough, they are screaming at each other and I'm screaming over them. Dad walks in and talks to them nicely and takes the remote and they both run crying to their room because my screaming does nothing but Dad talking is LAW, the dog is licking herself in front of the fire/corn burner that doesn't even work, frozen pizza is on the counter and no one is cleaning up but me. The only thing I see out the window is dog poop and a junky van that has 150,000 miles on it and there is no mistle toe anywhere in sight because I'm sure that by bedtime I will have a headache. And I have no basement.
Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday because it's stress free. You make a meal, eat it, be thankful, watch football with a full belly and it's over. What's not to like about that? But Christmas....plans have to be made in October just to coordinate everyone's schedules, gift lists have to be made so there are no duplicates, money has to be saved to buy said gifts, menus need to be planned so there aren't 4 green bean casseroles and no desserts. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because it's expected. If we don't get all the gifts on the lists, how do we get our kids to behave the months of November and December? I've already used the Santa threat 617 times and it's only November 17th.
So this year I decided to have less stress. I've shopped mostly online. The kids aren't getting nearly as much. We've raised money and are "giving back" by adopting kids on the angel tree. I'm baking early and sticking it all in the freezer so it's ready. I'm doing some small projects here and there and so far, it's going well. I'm still debating how many trees to put up. We have a small house but I usually have 5 trees up. The husband does not like this. It's hard to be "scroogey" when Christmas has puked all over your house. I think all the twinkling lights distract from his stupid TV shows. I guess it's hard to watch things like "The Fall of Hitler" with Santa staring at you. Since I can't threaten him with Santa, he gets away with a little more than the kids.
This year since I am keeping it low stress, I'm even allowing my husband to be in control of my son's big gift. It's a project he has to build and I'm a nervous wreck over it. My husband is very handy and I know it will turn out great (and be ready by Dec. 23rd - hint, hint honey....that's your deadline). But I've never let him have this much control over a gift. The fact that I can't just go buy it and know that it's here and ready is really stressing me out. And the fact that he keeps showing me plans and I'm picturing something totally different than what he has drawn also stresses me out. He was asking me questions about it and I had no idea what he was talking about and he asked me if I had a stroke because I was being so stupid - not a good sign about the outcome of this project. I think we have it all worked out now but this part was supposed to lower my stress not make more. Deep breaths control freak. Deep breaths.
I know in the long run it will all be worth it. All the hours of shopping, wrapping, baking, it will all be worth it. Even though it will all be over on Christmas morning in about 11 minutes it will all be worth it. If I keep telling myself that, think it will come true? I think my chances of waking up with a basement are more likely.
With the holidays comes stress. Lots of it. We do it to ourselves. We have to find that one perfect gift or find that one perfect Christmas outfit for the Holiday program. We make things so much harder than it has to be. And by we - I really mean me. But I'm sure I'm not the only one.
When I picture Christmas, it's your typical Norman Rockwell calendar picture for the month of December. Cute little kids are hugging in front of fire with warm mugs of hot cocoa. The husband and wife are looking on with their arms around each other. They are probably kissing under a mistletoe and there is a beautiful dinner spread out behind them that their private chef cooked. I'm 50 lbs. thinner and have hair like Christina Applegate. My kids aren't fighting over the remote and my husband isn't complaining about the 5 Christmas trees I've set up. The maid is in the background just waiting to clean up after us. Oh and there is a new Cadillac DTS I can spot out the window (because I'm always thinking of my husband and his wants and needs.) My house is spotless and has a basement. Yes, in my dreams, I have a basement.
But as we all know, it's not like that at all. I think the build up to Christmas is just that...a build up...only to be let down. The real picture is something like this: the kids are fighting over who's turn it is to watch a show because apparently the 17 hours of TV they've already watched that day isn't enough, they are screaming at each other and I'm screaming over them. Dad walks in and talks to them nicely and takes the remote and they both run crying to their room because my screaming does nothing but Dad talking is LAW, the dog is licking herself in front of the fire/corn burner that doesn't even work, frozen pizza is on the counter and no one is cleaning up but me. The only thing I see out the window is dog poop and a junky van that has 150,000 miles on it and there is no mistle toe anywhere in sight because I'm sure that by bedtime I will have a headache. And I have no basement.
Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday because it's stress free. You make a meal, eat it, be thankful, watch football with a full belly and it's over. What's not to like about that? But Christmas....plans have to be made in October just to coordinate everyone's schedules, gift lists have to be made so there are no duplicates, money has to be saved to buy said gifts, menus need to be planned so there aren't 4 green bean casseroles and no desserts. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because it's expected. If we don't get all the gifts on the lists, how do we get our kids to behave the months of November and December? I've already used the Santa threat 617 times and it's only November 17th.
So this year I decided to have less stress. I've shopped mostly online. The kids aren't getting nearly as much. We've raised money and are "giving back" by adopting kids on the angel tree. I'm baking early and sticking it all in the freezer so it's ready. I'm doing some small projects here and there and so far, it's going well. I'm still debating how many trees to put up. We have a small house but I usually have 5 trees up. The husband does not like this. It's hard to be "scroogey" when Christmas has puked all over your house. I think all the twinkling lights distract from his stupid TV shows. I guess it's hard to watch things like "The Fall of Hitler" with Santa staring at you. Since I can't threaten him with Santa, he gets away with a little more than the kids.
This year since I am keeping it low stress, I'm even allowing my husband to be in control of my son's big gift. It's a project he has to build and I'm a nervous wreck over it. My husband is very handy and I know it will turn out great (and be ready by Dec. 23rd - hint, hint honey....that's your deadline). But I've never let him have this much control over a gift. The fact that I can't just go buy it and know that it's here and ready is really stressing me out. And the fact that he keeps showing me plans and I'm picturing something totally different than what he has drawn also stresses me out. He was asking me questions about it and I had no idea what he was talking about and he asked me if I had a stroke because I was being so stupid - not a good sign about the outcome of this project. I think we have it all worked out now but this part was supposed to lower my stress not make more. Deep breaths control freak. Deep breaths.
I know in the long run it will all be worth it. All the hours of shopping, wrapping, baking, it will all be worth it. Even though it will all be over on Christmas morning in about 11 minutes it will all be worth it. If I keep telling myself that, think it will come true? I think my chances of waking up with a basement are more likely.
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The glue that holds us all together
So much has happened since my last blog. Nothing of great world changing importance but entertaining none the less.
Let's start with Halloween and the 516 pieces of Halloween candy that are now haunting me in the pantry. The kids had a great time. I have to say, it may be the best one yet as I didn't even have to take my kids trick or treating. First off, my daughter is WAY too cool to go out with her MOTHER. Are you kidding me? Luckily, we had friends over so the girls went off on their own. Even more lucky for me, someone volunteered/I begged to take out my son. I got to sit and enjoy a fire with all my best gal pals and their hubbies. Of course I couldn't relax because my husband was burning some kind of combustible wood that kept spitting smoldering splinters onto my one pair of jeans that fit. Luckily, no one was burned though it came close to sending a Taylor Swift wig up in flames a few times. Now I'm left with all this candy. I saw this great crafty idea where you use it to make this daily chart where each kid got one piece a day throughout November. Apparently that Pinterest poster had more time than me because now we are already at Nov. 9th and it hasn't happened so we will continue to eat our way through it until all that's left are Dum Dum suckers and mints and we throw it away. The kids did have fun though and we got off pretty cheap on costumes so I'd say we can chalk it up to a success.
Since then we've been busy with school work, gearing up for more holidays and our son's newest activity: wrestling. When signing him up, I didn't realize how intense the schedule would be. For most people, its probably not a big deal. For a family where the mom and children require 10 hours of sleep a night, it's a bit much. Practice 3 times a week for 2 hours each time. So far though, he's loving it so it's worth it. Plus the exercise is doing him good. If you want a good laugh, just come watch him do some push-ups. It's a combination of the worm and humping. Words can't even explain. It's a you tube video waiting to happen. We've (I mean him) have been practicing them at home so we are almost there.
Now that we are getting into the swing of all the practices, we've had an injury that has us out of practice for a week. My son has a very hard head (from his father) and he collided with another boy at school. When you get a call from the school nurse, it's never good. Never. It's not like she's going to call and say "Oh by the way, just took your kids temp and it's fine. He can stay here for the rest of the day." No. A call usually involves a fever, puking, an injury, something bad. So when the school's number pops up on caller ID, I try to prepare for the worse. When the nurse says "Can you come in and look at this hole in your son's head because we think he may need some stitches?" you just jump in the car and go. When you find out your son's hard head knocked out someone else's two front teeth, you immediately ask 1) were they baby teeth (and keep your fingers crossed for a yes) and 2) who was it (incase it's some psycho parent and they are gonna freak out). Lucky for us they were baby teeth and the "victim" was a great little boy with super nice parents! Also lucky for us, my son's head didn't need stitches. They glued up the tooth shaped hole in his head and sent us on our way. The story my son tells recounting the event has grown every time he tells it. I guess they collided while playing football at recess. They both looked a little rough this morning at school but were the celebrities of 1st grade as they walked down the hallway showing off their battle wounds.
Last night when we went to bed, the husband and I were talking about being parents. I had already checked on my son 7 times in 2 hours because of the "warning signs of a concussion" the doctor gave us. It should be titled "this probably isn't going to happen but we don't want you to sleep tonight" information sheet. I was worried he wouldn't "wake easily" but he was fine. My daughter was going through some girl drama so she was bawling before bed. Girls are mean. She's not innocent and is hypersensitive about things but still. I don't remember girls getting mean until about 15, not 10. Anyway, we were talking about how hard parenting really is. I knew it would be but I guess I didn't realize all the emotions that you go through. One minute you are so proud and excited for them. One minute you are mad at them and discouraged that things just aren't getting through those thick little heads, the next minute you are screaming and then next second you feel guilty for screaming the minute before. You feel anger and want to go slap some 5th grade girl that hurt your daughter's feelings but you have to be strong and set a good example. Sometimes you are depressed that you aren't doing everything you promised yourself you were going to do and sometimes you are depressed because you are doing everything you said you wouldn't do. You feel enlightened because some of the things your parents said/did are finally making sense. And then you once again feel guilty for being such a snot to your parents. One minute you are getting a hug from a stinky, sweaty little boy and the next he is screaming at his sister over the remote and you want to ground him for a week but really that's just more punishment for you. So when people say parenting is the hardest job in the world, they aren't lying. It really is. The pay sucks but the benefits make up for it. Wouldn't it be nice if they just gave out that glue and we could fix all of our problems as easily as it fixed the tooth shaped hole in my son's head? I guess we'll never know. Until then, I will hang on and enjoy the ride on this emotional roller coaster!
Let's start with Halloween and the 516 pieces of Halloween candy that are now haunting me in the pantry. The kids had a great time. I have to say, it may be the best one yet as I didn't even have to take my kids trick or treating. First off, my daughter is WAY too cool to go out with her MOTHER. Are you kidding me? Luckily, we had friends over so the girls went off on their own. Even more lucky for me, someone volunteered/I begged to take out my son. I got to sit and enjoy a fire with all my best gal pals and their hubbies. Of course I couldn't relax because my husband was burning some kind of combustible wood that kept spitting smoldering splinters onto my one pair of jeans that fit. Luckily, no one was burned though it came close to sending a Taylor Swift wig up in flames a few times. Now I'm left with all this candy. I saw this great crafty idea where you use it to make this daily chart where each kid got one piece a day throughout November. Apparently that Pinterest poster had more time than me because now we are already at Nov. 9th and it hasn't happened so we will continue to eat our way through it until all that's left are Dum Dum suckers and mints and we throw it away. The kids did have fun though and we got off pretty cheap on costumes so I'd say we can chalk it up to a success.
Since then we've been busy with school work, gearing up for more holidays and our son's newest activity: wrestling. When signing him up, I didn't realize how intense the schedule would be. For most people, its probably not a big deal. For a family where the mom and children require 10 hours of sleep a night, it's a bit much. Practice 3 times a week for 2 hours each time. So far though, he's loving it so it's worth it. Plus the exercise is doing him good. If you want a good laugh, just come watch him do some push-ups. It's a combination of the worm and humping. Words can't even explain. It's a you tube video waiting to happen. We've (I mean him) have been practicing them at home so we are almost there.
Now that we are getting into the swing of all the practices, we've had an injury that has us out of practice for a week. My son has a very hard head (from his father) and he collided with another boy at school. When you get a call from the school nurse, it's never good. Never. It's not like she's going to call and say "Oh by the way, just took your kids temp and it's fine. He can stay here for the rest of the day." No. A call usually involves a fever, puking, an injury, something bad. So when the school's number pops up on caller ID, I try to prepare for the worse. When the nurse says "Can you come in and look at this hole in your son's head because we think he may need some stitches?" you just jump in the car and go. When you find out your son's hard head knocked out someone else's two front teeth, you immediately ask 1) were they baby teeth (and keep your fingers crossed for a yes) and 2) who was it (incase it's some psycho parent and they are gonna freak out). Lucky for us they were baby teeth and the "victim" was a great little boy with super nice parents! Also lucky for us, my son's head didn't need stitches. They glued up the tooth shaped hole in his head and sent us on our way. The story my son tells recounting the event has grown every time he tells it. I guess they collided while playing football at recess. They both looked a little rough this morning at school but were the celebrities of 1st grade as they walked down the hallway showing off their battle wounds.
Last night when we went to bed, the husband and I were talking about being parents. I had already checked on my son 7 times in 2 hours because of the "warning signs of a concussion" the doctor gave us. It should be titled "this probably isn't going to happen but we don't want you to sleep tonight" information sheet. I was worried he wouldn't "wake easily" but he was fine. My daughter was going through some girl drama so she was bawling before bed. Girls are mean. She's not innocent and is hypersensitive about things but still. I don't remember girls getting mean until about 15, not 10. Anyway, we were talking about how hard parenting really is. I knew it would be but I guess I didn't realize all the emotions that you go through. One minute you are so proud and excited for them. One minute you are mad at them and discouraged that things just aren't getting through those thick little heads, the next minute you are screaming and then next second you feel guilty for screaming the minute before. You feel anger and want to go slap some 5th grade girl that hurt your daughter's feelings but you have to be strong and set a good example. Sometimes you are depressed that you aren't doing everything you promised yourself you were going to do and sometimes you are depressed because you are doing everything you said you wouldn't do. You feel enlightened because some of the things your parents said/did are finally making sense. And then you once again feel guilty for being such a snot to your parents. One minute you are getting a hug from a stinky, sweaty little boy and the next he is screaming at his sister over the remote and you want to ground him for a week but really that's just more punishment for you. So when people say parenting is the hardest job in the world, they aren't lying. It really is. The pay sucks but the benefits make up for it. Wouldn't it be nice if they just gave out that glue and we could fix all of our problems as easily as it fixed the tooth shaped hole in my son's head? I guess we'll never know. Until then, I will hang on and enjoy the ride on this emotional roller coaster!
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
My (current) favorite things
Since I was such a hater in my last post, I thought I would leave you with a more "Oprah" like post about my favorite things. Fortunately for you, my items are either free or within my "Dave Ramsay" budget.
1. Pinterest - I'm slightly addicted. Best. Website. Ever. Seriously, so many ideas that I would have never thought of.
2. Stupid infomercials - my fave right now is www.getthundershirt.com Ridiculous.
3. Caress Body Wash - love it. Remember the old commercials - "Before you dress, Caress" Well I do and I love it.
4. Rain-X - Actually that should say "when my husband puts rain-x on my windshield" Not only does it make me feel like he loves me but the rain and bugs literally fly off my windshield. If that's not romance, then I don't know what is.
5. The movie "Elf" It's almost time to break it out.
6. Cappucino protein shakes. They complete my morning in this cold weather.
7. Eddie Bauer Yoga pants at Sam's Club for $9.99. I have no intention of doing yoga but if I did, they aren't the low rise ones so I wouldn't be sporting the plumber look. Also - they are the softest pants ever.
8. Texting - how did I live the past 34 years without it?
9. When my 6 yr. old son sings Adele. I'm pretty sure others would think he has Tuerets but it's hilarious.
10. www.picnik.com - love it for editing pictures. I have Photoshop but am still learning everything on there so this is a quick editing site and it's free!
11. The feather my daughter got for her hair. It was on clearance and it's the clip in kind not an extension so it's a win-win for both of us!
12. Girlfriends - when old or new, no girl should be without them.
13. Excedrin Tension - best headache medicine ever.
14. Fall - reminds me of when I was a kid going to the apple orchard in Henry, includes my favorite holiday (Thanksgiving) and I love the weather
15. Boots - this is a love/hate. I love them but have yet to find a pair that I don't look totally ridiculous in. The Ugg looking ones don't work because I've broken both feet and can no longer bend them flat to get them on. And then the tall zip up ones are way too tall for my short legs. They go up over my knee and I look like Elasti-girl from The Incredibles.
So that's it for now. I know I should have more "products" on here so you could all rush out and buy them. But if you just want to send me money for my ideas - that works too!
1. Pinterest - I'm slightly addicted. Best. Website. Ever. Seriously, so many ideas that I would have never thought of.
2. Stupid infomercials - my fave right now is www.getthundershirt.com Ridiculous.
3. Caress Body Wash - love it. Remember the old commercials - "Before you dress, Caress" Well I do and I love it.
4. Rain-X - Actually that should say "when my husband puts rain-x on my windshield" Not only does it make me feel like he loves me but the rain and bugs literally fly off my windshield. If that's not romance, then I don't know what is.
5. The movie "Elf" It's almost time to break it out.
6. Cappucino protein shakes. They complete my morning in this cold weather.
7. Eddie Bauer Yoga pants at Sam's Club for $9.99. I have no intention of doing yoga but if I did, they aren't the low rise ones so I wouldn't be sporting the plumber look. Also - they are the softest pants ever.
8. Texting - how did I live the past 34 years without it?
9. When my 6 yr. old son sings Adele. I'm pretty sure others would think he has Tuerets but it's hilarious.
10. www.picnik.com - love it for editing pictures. I have Photoshop but am still learning everything on there so this is a quick editing site and it's free!
11. The feather my daughter got for her hair. It was on clearance and it's the clip in kind not an extension so it's a win-win for both of us!
12. Girlfriends - when old or new, no girl should be without them.
13. Excedrin Tension - best headache medicine ever.
14. Fall - reminds me of when I was a kid going to the apple orchard in Henry, includes my favorite holiday (Thanksgiving) and I love the weather
15. Boots - this is a love/hate. I love them but have yet to find a pair that I don't look totally ridiculous in. The Ugg looking ones don't work because I've broken both feet and can no longer bend them flat to get them on. And then the tall zip up ones are way too tall for my short legs. They go up over my knee and I look like Elasti-girl from The Incredibles.
So that's it for now. I know I should have more "products" on here so you could all rush out and buy them. But if you just want to send me money for my ideas - that works too!
Monday, October 3, 2011
Haters....
Nothing funny or exciting happened this past week which is nice for a change. I was flipping through channels this morning and came across Oprah's channel. I'm an Oprah hater. Sorry. I'm not a big fan and I don't watch her new OWN network. It got me thinking though about her favorite things list. As much as I don't like her, I would love to be on that episode. Something about Oprah just seems fake to me. Before you all become haters, yes, she's done amazing things. Good for her. Her favorite things always interested me though because they were usually things totally out of the average person's budget. Sorry, I buy my lotion at Wal-Mart and it's $1.97 not $30. And why didn't she ever do a hate list? She could be like "Sorry folks, this is all the crap I don't like so I'm giving it to you" and I bet it would still be awesome stuff. So in honor of hating on Oprah and because my kids haven't done anything entertaining to post about, I thought I'd make my current hate list.
1. All the stupid shows my husband records on the DVR (such as Top Gear, XTreme 4x4, All in the Family, Hot Rod TV and stupid WILL specials on things like Prohibition)
2. Cleaning the bathrooms.
3. When the dog poops under the clothesline.
4. Buying new underwear. Seriously folks, they are expensive and no one even sees them.
5. Reality TV (except for Guiliana and Bill)
6. Cake Boss. Yes, I hate him.
7. When someone calls and says "Oh I saw this cake on Cake Boss and it looks totally easy. Can you make it?" I say sure and give them a price and they say "Really? It looks so easy on tv." Well then maybe you should make it yourself.
8. Wiping my son's butt. But I also hate doing laundry when he does it himself so that's a real toss up.
9. Ray Liotta
10. When my husband gives the dog a hair cut and then puts the hair covered shirt into the laundry. I don't know its in there and wash it and then the whole load is covered in black dog hair. I don't notice this until half of the load is on the clothes line. I then have to make the call if I want to rewash all of his clothes or just go crazy with the lint brush because it's his fault anyway. But can I really send him to work looking like he made out with Big Foot, isn't that a direct reflection on me? I hate tough decisions.
11. When other kids are mean to my kids. I want to punch the other kid in the face but have to be a responsible parent and tell my kids to "kill them with kindness".
12. Stupid people.
13. Carbs. They are my kryptonite. (FYI - I looked up the definition of kryptonite and it says "the one weakness of an otherwise invaluable hero" Yep - totally describes me and carbs.
14. Door to door salesmen. I'm a goon magnet so I can't tell them no and then I'm usually stuck with a years worth of a magazine I don't want or have to break the news to the vacuum salesman that yes, my carpet looks great now but I'm not buying his $2000 vacuum. Thank goodness most of them are afraid of the dog and stay away.
15. The fact that I won't be going to see Wicked in Peoria. My husband was nice enough to lay the huge ad on the table though yesterday so I didn't talk to him most of the day. I hate the fact that I don't think he noticed. Or maybe he enjoyed it?
16. The fact that my blog hasn't made me a millionaire yet. I already have my book tour planned. All I need is to write a book, rent a PreVost (so the family can meet up with me. I will be flying.) and get some funds.
Okay, I'm done. I really am not a hater. I am very thankful for my life and all the blessings. I do plan to be all Oprah-like and do a favorite things list eventually. But it's all about keeping it real at the Rowland's house. Even if it means your son is very "real" and tells you not to kiss him good-bye because your breath stinks.
1. All the stupid shows my husband records on the DVR (such as Top Gear, XTreme 4x4, All in the Family, Hot Rod TV and stupid WILL specials on things like Prohibition)
2. Cleaning the bathrooms.
3. When the dog poops under the clothesline.
4. Buying new underwear. Seriously folks, they are expensive and no one even sees them.
5. Reality TV (except for Guiliana and Bill)
6. Cake Boss. Yes, I hate him.
7. When someone calls and says "Oh I saw this cake on Cake Boss and it looks totally easy. Can you make it?" I say sure and give them a price and they say "Really? It looks so easy on tv." Well then maybe you should make it yourself.
8. Wiping my son's butt. But I also hate doing laundry when he does it himself so that's a real toss up.
9. Ray Liotta
10. When my husband gives the dog a hair cut and then puts the hair covered shirt into the laundry. I don't know its in there and wash it and then the whole load is covered in black dog hair. I don't notice this until half of the load is on the clothes line. I then have to make the call if I want to rewash all of his clothes or just go crazy with the lint brush because it's his fault anyway. But can I really send him to work looking like he made out with Big Foot, isn't that a direct reflection on me? I hate tough decisions.
11. When other kids are mean to my kids. I want to punch the other kid in the face but have to be a responsible parent and tell my kids to "kill them with kindness".
12. Stupid people.
13. Carbs. They are my kryptonite. (FYI - I looked up the definition of kryptonite and it says "the one weakness of an otherwise invaluable hero" Yep - totally describes me and carbs.
14. Door to door salesmen. I'm a goon magnet so I can't tell them no and then I'm usually stuck with a years worth of a magazine I don't want or have to break the news to the vacuum salesman that yes, my carpet looks great now but I'm not buying his $2000 vacuum. Thank goodness most of them are afraid of the dog and stay away.
15. The fact that I won't be going to see Wicked in Peoria. My husband was nice enough to lay the huge ad on the table though yesterday so I didn't talk to him most of the day. I hate the fact that I don't think he noticed. Or maybe he enjoyed it?
16. The fact that my blog hasn't made me a millionaire yet. I already have my book tour planned. All I need is to write a book, rent a PreVost (so the family can meet up with me. I will be flying.) and get some funds.
Okay, I'm done. I really am not a hater. I am very thankful for my life and all the blessings. I do plan to be all Oprah-like and do a favorite things list eventually. But it's all about keeping it real at the Rowland's house. Even if it means your son is very "real" and tells you not to kiss him good-bye because your breath stinks.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Somebody call DCSF
Because apparently taking your children to a college football game is abuse. Well, at least to my two kids. We never do anything that my husband wants to do. This is what he tells me anyway. I won't mention the 7 days we spent in Wisconsin this summer or the RV open house that I thoroughly enjoyed last summer. That's all beside the point. Last weekend we had the chance to get 4 tickets to a college football game. Knowing this would make my husband happy and being the fantabulous wife that I am, I bought them. I figured it would be cheaper to spend $30 for two tickets for the kids than paying a babysitter for all afternoon/evening.
That night at dinner we told the kids that we were going to do something super fun on Saturday afternoon. Maybe I built it up too much but they should know by now that I totally exaggerate. We told them that we would be going to the game and the complaints started. Why would we torture them so? Why did they have to go? My daughter had NOTHING to wear to the game! My son just said he wasn't going which I thought I could at least count on him for excitement. Guess not. I promised my daughter that I would get her a new shirt before the game. With the team being blue/orange, I had strict instructions to get nothing with orange because it was not flattering with her hair. I figured if I could pass that test, we may have a chance of having a good time.
Friday comes along and I'm off to the mall to get shirts for myself and the two kids. The mall even had a special - buy one, get two free. It was like sporting wear destiny. I remember the "rules" and only get a navy/white one for my daughter. That afternoon, she declares it's hideous and can't wear it to the game. She wanted something girly and glittery - not what I got. Now typically, I would just say tough BUT it was too small on her and my sons was too big so we head back to the mall. She finds the "perfect" shirt which is grey, hot pink and silver. Totally team spirit there.
Game day rolls around. I'm already $80 into this adventure from the tickets and new shirts so I'm determined this day is going to be great! We head to a quick soccer game and then home to quickly eat and go to the game. Hysteria breaks out as we are leaving because Dad informs daughter that she isn't wearing flip flops. Daddysaidwhat? That news did not go over well. Why wouldn't we let our extremely graceful daughter wear flip flops held together with a paper clip? We'd only be walking two miles to the stadium. (Dad's way too cheap to pay for parking.) Tears and drama and ten minutes later, we have shoes on.
We get there and walk (2 miles) with our emergency rain ponchos in our pockets because it may rain. We are ready for a good time. I'm walking by myself because my husband has pointed out some players parents and I ask who that is and he's completely appalled that I don't know and is now 17 paces ahead of me. Either that or it's because I have a rain poncho in each back pocket and it looks like I'm wearing an adult diaper.
We find our seats and the game starts. About 10 minutes into it my daughter asks when it's going to be kick-off. She's as sporty as her mama. Luckily, we are winning so the fireworks are making my son happy. 12 minutes into the game my son is so hungry he can't possibly survive another minute. He may pass out. Did I mention we ate lunch right before we left the house? I tell him that as soon as the kettle corn guy comes by, I'll get him some. He makes it his personal mission to flag this guy down. The jumbo tron camera keeps zooming the crowd and I can just see it now - my son waving like a maniac but at least people will think he's just cheering.
We make it until halftime with out too many issues. The grandma behind us gave the kids suckers, she must have been worried he was really gonna pass out. His was gone in 2.7 seconds while my daughter had to scope out the grandma and witness her own grandkids eating them to make sure they weren't poison before she ate her's. Maybe she was making sure her brother didn't pass out from it first?
Halftime leads to a walk, snacks and drinks. Can I just say that next time, I'm smuggling in food instead of ponchos. We come back to our seats to see it had rained a few drops. My son is so disappointed he didn't get to put on his poncho. One drop hits his arm and he declares that he's soaked and wants to get the poncho on. The man in front of us thinks this is hilarious. I don't because I know we'll never be able to fold it up again and there is no way my husband is throwing away a poncho that cost 99 cents if it didn't even get used a sufficient amount of time.
More complaining, a few touchdowns, snacks eaten and we are finally to the last quarter. There was a time in there that it was tied and I started to panic that it was going to go into overtime. I've showed the kids the giant clock so they can't ask me "how much longer?" anymore. They don't understand why the blessed clock keeps stopping though and their dad has already explained 1st down to all of us at least 3 times and isn't about to explain anything else. I was thinking we'd be home around 5:00 and it's already 7:15 so obviously I'm clueless! We are just about home free with only 6 minutes left and then it takes a turn for the worse.
My daughter had gotten a new slap bracelet the day before at the book fair. It was the last day of the book fair and it was the last zebra striped bracelet and it was her last $2 - so basically it was fate that she was wearing it. She had continuously slapped it on her wrist throughout the game with me saying "please stop doing that" but apparently I don't know anything. She was in the process of slapping it on again and I gave her "the look" and she did it "just one more time" to be a brat and oops....God don't like ugly...and it went bouncing down the bleachers. It's rubber so it bounced quickly out of sight. Of course not as quickly as the drama unfolded. The bleachers are packed so we can't really see where it went. We ask the people in front of us that have had to listen to the complaining the entire time. They quickly look because they don't want it to get worse. Nope, it can't be found. I assure her that we will look after the game. As she watches the giant timer get closer to zero she's panicking because she knows with everyone moving, it's going to get kicked even further out of reach. How will she finish 5th grade without this zebra bracelet that's she's only had for one day and only gotten to slap 778 times? Luckily, as people start to leave, she has the chance to go down a few aisles and someone in front of us actually sees it and gets it for her. We thank him profusely for saving us a huge amount of drama and start the long journey back to the car with the bracelet firmly in place. (no more slapping, just wearing, because mom is always right.)
All in all, it was a nice day. The weather was beautiful. I think we ended up spending way more and didn't save any money by not getting a babysitter but we have our memories, right? My son's dreams were crushed that he didn't get on the big screen but he got kettle corn so that made up for it. And most importantly, we got to do something that my husband enjoyed.
He actually just asked what I was blogging about and I said the game. His reply was "Are you telling them how awesome it was?" Apparently we were at two different games.
That night at dinner we told the kids that we were going to do something super fun on Saturday afternoon. Maybe I built it up too much but they should know by now that I totally exaggerate. We told them that we would be going to the game and the complaints started. Why would we torture them so? Why did they have to go? My daughter had NOTHING to wear to the game! My son just said he wasn't going which I thought I could at least count on him for excitement. Guess not. I promised my daughter that I would get her a new shirt before the game. With the team being blue/orange, I had strict instructions to get nothing with orange because it was not flattering with her hair. I figured if I could pass that test, we may have a chance of having a good time.
Friday comes along and I'm off to the mall to get shirts for myself and the two kids. The mall even had a special - buy one, get two free. It was like sporting wear destiny. I remember the "rules" and only get a navy/white one for my daughter. That afternoon, she declares it's hideous and can't wear it to the game. She wanted something girly and glittery - not what I got. Now typically, I would just say tough BUT it was too small on her and my sons was too big so we head back to the mall. She finds the "perfect" shirt which is grey, hot pink and silver. Totally team spirit there.
Game day rolls around. I'm already $80 into this adventure from the tickets and new shirts so I'm determined this day is going to be great! We head to a quick soccer game and then home to quickly eat and go to the game. Hysteria breaks out as we are leaving because Dad informs daughter that she isn't wearing flip flops. Daddysaidwhat? That news did not go over well. Why wouldn't we let our extremely graceful daughter wear flip flops held together with a paper clip? We'd only be walking two miles to the stadium. (Dad's way too cheap to pay for parking.) Tears and drama and ten minutes later, we have shoes on.
We get there and walk (2 miles) with our emergency rain ponchos in our pockets because it may rain. We are ready for a good time. I'm walking by myself because my husband has pointed out some players parents and I ask who that is and he's completely appalled that I don't know and is now 17 paces ahead of me. Either that or it's because I have a rain poncho in each back pocket and it looks like I'm wearing an adult diaper.
We find our seats and the game starts. About 10 minutes into it my daughter asks when it's going to be kick-off. She's as sporty as her mama. Luckily, we are winning so the fireworks are making my son happy. 12 minutes into the game my son is so hungry he can't possibly survive another minute. He may pass out. Did I mention we ate lunch right before we left the house? I tell him that as soon as the kettle corn guy comes by, I'll get him some. He makes it his personal mission to flag this guy down. The jumbo tron camera keeps zooming the crowd and I can just see it now - my son waving like a maniac but at least people will think he's just cheering.
We make it until halftime with out too many issues. The grandma behind us gave the kids suckers, she must have been worried he was really gonna pass out. His was gone in 2.7 seconds while my daughter had to scope out the grandma and witness her own grandkids eating them to make sure they weren't poison before she ate her's. Maybe she was making sure her brother didn't pass out from it first?
Halftime leads to a walk, snacks and drinks. Can I just say that next time, I'm smuggling in food instead of ponchos. We come back to our seats to see it had rained a few drops. My son is so disappointed he didn't get to put on his poncho. One drop hits his arm and he declares that he's soaked and wants to get the poncho on. The man in front of us thinks this is hilarious. I don't because I know we'll never be able to fold it up again and there is no way my husband is throwing away a poncho that cost 99 cents if it didn't even get used a sufficient amount of time.
More complaining, a few touchdowns, snacks eaten and we are finally to the last quarter. There was a time in there that it was tied and I started to panic that it was going to go into overtime. I've showed the kids the giant clock so they can't ask me "how much longer?" anymore. They don't understand why the blessed clock keeps stopping though and their dad has already explained 1st down to all of us at least 3 times and isn't about to explain anything else. I was thinking we'd be home around 5:00 and it's already 7:15 so obviously I'm clueless! We are just about home free with only 6 minutes left and then it takes a turn for the worse.
My daughter had gotten a new slap bracelet the day before at the book fair. It was the last day of the book fair and it was the last zebra striped bracelet and it was her last $2 - so basically it was fate that she was wearing it. She had continuously slapped it on her wrist throughout the game with me saying "please stop doing that" but apparently I don't know anything. She was in the process of slapping it on again and I gave her "the look" and she did it "just one more time" to be a brat and oops....God don't like ugly...and it went bouncing down the bleachers. It's rubber so it bounced quickly out of sight. Of course not as quickly as the drama unfolded. The bleachers are packed so we can't really see where it went. We ask the people in front of us that have had to listen to the complaining the entire time. They quickly look because they don't want it to get worse. Nope, it can't be found. I assure her that we will look after the game. As she watches the giant timer get closer to zero she's panicking because she knows with everyone moving, it's going to get kicked even further out of reach. How will she finish 5th grade without this zebra bracelet that's she's only had for one day and only gotten to slap 778 times? Luckily, as people start to leave, she has the chance to go down a few aisles and someone in front of us actually sees it and gets it for her. We thank him profusely for saving us a huge amount of drama and start the long journey back to the car with the bracelet firmly in place. (no more slapping, just wearing, because mom is always right.)
All in all, it was a nice day. The weather was beautiful. I think we ended up spending way more and didn't save any money by not getting a babysitter but we have our memories, right? My son's dreams were crushed that he didn't get on the big screen but he got kettle corn so that made up for it. And most importantly, we got to do something that my husband enjoyed.
He actually just asked what I was blogging about and I said the game. His reply was "Are you telling them how awesome it was?" Apparently we were at two different games.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Real Housewives of......
I don't watch much reality TV. It took me a long time to get over the break up of Nick and Jessica. Plus, I have enough drama in my life, I don't need to watch someone elses unfold. The other day I was flipping through the channels and watched a few minutes of The Real Housewives of someplace or other. I don't even know which one it was. Now, if you watch this show, maybe I need to give it more of a chance. I'm sure it's entertaining in it's own right but I just didn't get it. First of all, they are mega rich and super spoiled. Most of them just shop all day or plan elaborate dinner parties. They have a ton of plastic surgery, extensions, tons of jewelry, well you get the picture.
So I was thinking that maybe they need to make a REAL reality show of what a house wife really looks like. And another thing while I'm on my soapbox - no one calls us "house wife" anymore. It's stay at home mom now. Anyway - it could be a reality show called "The Real Stay at Home Moms of ....."
Episode #1 - Grocery shopping without showering. I mean really, who gets all fancy to get groceries? Not this mom. Getting $250 worth of groceries in the cart, out of the cart onto the belt, back into the cart and then unloaded at home. I'm not wasting one of my few "good shirts" on that. Sorry. If you see me at Wal-Mart, please excuse my appearance.
Episode #2 - Date night. Trying to figure out if you should see a movie or go to dinner. Seriously - if you don't have family close by to pawn your children off on, date night is expensive. A good babysitter is hard to find so you have to pay her well so she'll come back thus leaving you with the decision between dinner or a movie. You really want to see the latest blockbuster with your hubbie but wouldn't a dinner without cutting someone else's food be nice too? It's a tough one.
Episode #3 - Girls Night out - On these TV shows, it has moms going to these exclusive clubs with velvet ropes and partying it up in little black dresses and tons of bling. Now while that sounds fun, it just doesn't happen. A moms night out here is dinner and a movie. (because you can do both since the husband is home with the kids) Occasionally you will go out to a bar and hear a band but it's not like on TV. You aren't seeing celebrities and if you are, you're trying to get them to autograph something so you can auction it off at the next PTA school carnival.
Episode #4 - Playdates - whether it's meeting at the park, going on an outing, whatever. Someone's kid is always bratty. You just hope and pray that it's not yours. I'm the type of mom that has no problem yelling at my kids or correcting them if they are being brats. But you always have the mom that does nothing. That makes it really fun and this would be a great episode because when said mom leaves, all the other moms talk about her lack of discipline and bratty kid. Just keeping it real folks.
Episode #5 - Play dates with the entire family. It's really hard to find families to do stuff with. You and the other mom may click but not the kids or husband. The husbands may click but not the kids. Seriously, it's harder than finding a good gynecologist. My husband just loves when I set him up on play dates. We've had a few scary ones in the past. (mostly his fault for picking weirdos) If you can find a good match, stick with them. Stalk them if necessary.
Episode #6 - Traveling - ugh - I've blogged about this before. If there could be a camera mounted in our van, I'm sure there would be some great footage from fighting over movies, to mom getting carsick, to dad threatening to pull over. We don't have limos although the partition window would be nice while traveling. We don't have chaufers but if we did, he'd be driving my kids in a separate car.
Episode #7 - Elaborate dinner parties - um, no one does this. I LOVE to plan a party but I don't know anyone who throws an elaborate dinner party . First - what do you do with your kids while you have your party? Nobody wants to clean and cook and entertain. In reality - we are more of a cook out kind of crowd. I'd love to have a dinner party with a fancy table scape but if I invite my friends over for it, they are coming in jeans, not formal wear. (and my husband would be in jeans too)
Episode #8 - Laundry/cleaning day - my favorite day - not. We don't have maids or cleaning ladies. I would love a cleaning lady but that means I'd have to leave the house for a few hours while she comes to clean. I love a clean house, it's just getting it done that's a hang up for me. I'm sure the footage of me only vacuuming as far as the cord will reach in the hallway outlet would be funny. Luckily I have a small ranch home. Another great piece of footage would be me breaking the wash machine because I shoved too much in it. (true store, happened today) Fortunately my husband is a pro at hooking the tub back into place, it makes him feel needed. Or when the dishwasher floods the kitchen, you use dirty towels to mop up the water because clean ones would mean more laundry. Okay - so I'm a little jealous of them having cleaning ladies.
Episode #9 - Plastic surgery. Most real moms I know, just don't do it. First - who could afford it? Second - who wants to drive their kids to school wrapped up like a mummy because we had "work" done. Now I would love me some liposuction but who is going to take care of my kids while I recover. "Sorry kiddos - mommy can't bend over to tie your shoes because I just had all my fat sucked out." I'm sure that would be a nice story my son would repeat to everyone he met.
Episode #10 - Meal planning - I didn't really even see any of the Housewives eat (other than the dinner party). I'm assuming they probably don't cook? The probably don't have to plan meals around the 3 food that their kids eat I'm guessing?? I'm pretty adamant that we all sit down for dinner and share our day but my kids are picky. It's my own fault. I should just make them eat it. But really, sometimes it's just easier to slap together a PB&J and save the arguments. I'm sure footage of our dinners would be "real". My daughter complaining that she doesn't like what we are having even though she ate it the week before. She knows if she doesn't get something else instead, she'll have starved to death by morning. There is no way she can make it until breakfast. Then there would be my son, crying because his chicken isn't clean (meaning no grill marks). And heaven forbid he not have a clean utensil for EVERY item on his plate. No way can he use the same spoon for applesauce and potatoes. Are you kidding me!?
So while my life as a real stay at home mom probably isn't as glamorous as the TV shows, I wouldn't change it for anything. Granted, I'd like to add the limo and cleaning services but I'd still keep it real!
So I was thinking that maybe they need to make a REAL reality show of what a house wife really looks like. And another thing while I'm on my soapbox - no one calls us "house wife" anymore. It's stay at home mom now. Anyway - it could be a reality show called "The Real Stay at Home Moms of ....."
Episode #1 - Grocery shopping without showering. I mean really, who gets all fancy to get groceries? Not this mom. Getting $250 worth of groceries in the cart, out of the cart onto the belt, back into the cart and then unloaded at home. I'm not wasting one of my few "good shirts" on that. Sorry. If you see me at Wal-Mart, please excuse my appearance.
Episode #2 - Date night. Trying to figure out if you should see a movie or go to dinner. Seriously - if you don't have family close by to pawn your children off on, date night is expensive. A good babysitter is hard to find so you have to pay her well so she'll come back thus leaving you with the decision between dinner or a movie. You really want to see the latest blockbuster with your hubbie but wouldn't a dinner without cutting someone else's food be nice too? It's a tough one.
Episode #3 - Girls Night out - On these TV shows, it has moms going to these exclusive clubs with velvet ropes and partying it up in little black dresses and tons of bling. Now while that sounds fun, it just doesn't happen. A moms night out here is dinner and a movie. (because you can do both since the husband is home with the kids) Occasionally you will go out to a bar and hear a band but it's not like on TV. You aren't seeing celebrities and if you are, you're trying to get them to autograph something so you can auction it off at the next PTA school carnival.
Episode #4 - Playdates - whether it's meeting at the park, going on an outing, whatever. Someone's kid is always bratty. You just hope and pray that it's not yours. I'm the type of mom that has no problem yelling at my kids or correcting them if they are being brats. But you always have the mom that does nothing. That makes it really fun and this would be a great episode because when said mom leaves, all the other moms talk about her lack of discipline and bratty kid. Just keeping it real folks.
Episode #5 - Play dates with the entire family. It's really hard to find families to do stuff with. You and the other mom may click but not the kids or husband. The husbands may click but not the kids. Seriously, it's harder than finding a good gynecologist. My husband just loves when I set him up on play dates. We've had a few scary ones in the past. (mostly his fault for picking weirdos) If you can find a good match, stick with them. Stalk them if necessary.
Episode #6 - Traveling - ugh - I've blogged about this before. If there could be a camera mounted in our van, I'm sure there would be some great footage from fighting over movies, to mom getting carsick, to dad threatening to pull over. We don't have limos although the partition window would be nice while traveling. We don't have chaufers but if we did, he'd be driving my kids in a separate car.
Episode #7 - Elaborate dinner parties - um, no one does this. I LOVE to plan a party but I don't know anyone who throws an elaborate dinner party . First - what do you do with your kids while you have your party? Nobody wants to clean and cook and entertain. In reality - we are more of a cook out kind of crowd. I'd love to have a dinner party with a fancy table scape but if I invite my friends over for it, they are coming in jeans, not formal wear. (and my husband would be in jeans too)
Episode #8 - Laundry/cleaning day - my favorite day - not. We don't have maids or cleaning ladies. I would love a cleaning lady but that means I'd have to leave the house for a few hours while she comes to clean. I love a clean house, it's just getting it done that's a hang up for me. I'm sure the footage of me only vacuuming as far as the cord will reach in the hallway outlet would be funny. Luckily I have a small ranch home. Another great piece of footage would be me breaking the wash machine because I shoved too much in it. (true store, happened today) Fortunately my husband is a pro at hooking the tub back into place, it makes him feel needed. Or when the dishwasher floods the kitchen, you use dirty towels to mop up the water because clean ones would mean more laundry. Okay - so I'm a little jealous of them having cleaning ladies.
Episode #9 - Plastic surgery. Most real moms I know, just don't do it. First - who could afford it? Second - who wants to drive their kids to school wrapped up like a mummy because we had "work" done. Now I would love me some liposuction but who is going to take care of my kids while I recover. "Sorry kiddos - mommy can't bend over to tie your shoes because I just had all my fat sucked out." I'm sure that would be a nice story my son would repeat to everyone he met.
Episode #10 - Meal planning - I didn't really even see any of the Housewives eat (other than the dinner party). I'm assuming they probably don't cook? The probably don't have to plan meals around the 3 food that their kids eat I'm guessing?? I'm pretty adamant that we all sit down for dinner and share our day but my kids are picky. It's my own fault. I should just make them eat it. But really, sometimes it's just easier to slap together a PB&J and save the arguments. I'm sure footage of our dinners would be "real". My daughter complaining that she doesn't like what we are having even though she ate it the week before. She knows if she doesn't get something else instead, she'll have starved to death by morning. There is no way she can make it until breakfast. Then there would be my son, crying because his chicken isn't clean (meaning no grill marks). And heaven forbid he not have a clean utensil for EVERY item on his plate. No way can he use the same spoon for applesauce and potatoes. Are you kidding me!?
So while my life as a real stay at home mom probably isn't as glamorous as the TV shows, I wouldn't change it for anything. Granted, I'd like to add the limo and cleaning services but I'd still keep it real!
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