I don't watch much reality TV. It took me a long time to get over the break up of Nick and Jessica. Plus, I have enough drama in my life, I don't need to watch someone elses unfold. The other day I was flipping through the channels and watched a few minutes of The Real Housewives of someplace or other. I don't even know which one it was. Now, if you watch this show, maybe I need to give it more of a chance. I'm sure it's entertaining in it's own right but I just didn't get it. First of all, they are mega rich and super spoiled. Most of them just shop all day or plan elaborate dinner parties. They have a ton of plastic surgery, extensions, tons of jewelry, well you get the picture.
So I was thinking that maybe they need to make a REAL reality show of what a house wife really looks like. And another thing while I'm on my soapbox - no one calls us "house wife" anymore. It's stay at home mom now. Anyway - it could be a reality show called "The Real Stay at Home Moms of ....."
Episode #1 - Grocery shopping without showering. I mean really, who gets all fancy to get groceries? Not this mom. Getting $250 worth of groceries in the cart, out of the cart onto the belt, back into the cart and then unloaded at home. I'm not wasting one of my few "good shirts" on that. Sorry. If you see me at Wal-Mart, please excuse my appearance.
Episode #2 - Date night. Trying to figure out if you should see a movie or go to dinner. Seriously - if you don't have family close by to pawn your children off on, date night is expensive. A good babysitter is hard to find so you have to pay her well so she'll come back thus leaving you with the decision between dinner or a movie. You really want to see the latest blockbuster with your hubbie but wouldn't a dinner without cutting someone else's food be nice too? It's a tough one.
Episode #3 - Girls Night out - On these TV shows, it has moms going to these exclusive clubs with velvet ropes and partying it up in little black dresses and tons of bling. Now while that sounds fun, it just doesn't happen. A moms night out here is dinner and a movie. (because you can do both since the husband is home with the kids) Occasionally you will go out to a bar and hear a band but it's not like on TV. You aren't seeing celebrities and if you are, you're trying to get them to autograph something so you can auction it off at the next PTA school carnival.
Episode #4 - Playdates - whether it's meeting at the park, going on an outing, whatever. Someone's kid is always bratty. You just hope and pray that it's not yours. I'm the type of mom that has no problem yelling at my kids or correcting them if they are being brats. But you always have the mom that does nothing. That makes it really fun and this would be a great episode because when said mom leaves, all the other moms talk about her lack of discipline and bratty kid. Just keeping it real folks.
Episode #5 - Play dates with the entire family. It's really hard to find families to do stuff with. You and the other mom may click but not the kids or husband. The husbands may click but not the kids. Seriously, it's harder than finding a good gynecologist. My husband just loves when I set him up on play dates. We've had a few scary ones in the past. (mostly his fault for picking weirdos) If you can find a good match, stick with them. Stalk them if necessary.
Episode #6 - Traveling - ugh - I've blogged about this before. If there could be a camera mounted in our van, I'm sure there would be some great footage from fighting over movies, to mom getting carsick, to dad threatening to pull over. We don't have limos although the partition window would be nice while traveling. We don't have chaufers but if we did, he'd be driving my kids in a separate car.
Episode #7 - Elaborate dinner parties - um, no one does this. I LOVE to plan a party but I don't know anyone who throws an elaborate dinner party . First - what do you do with your kids while you have your party? Nobody wants to clean and cook and entertain. In reality - we are more of a cook out kind of crowd. I'd love to have a dinner party with a fancy table scape but if I invite my friends over for it, they are coming in jeans, not formal wear. (and my husband would be in jeans too)
Episode #8 - Laundry/cleaning day - my favorite day - not. We don't have maids or cleaning ladies. I would love a cleaning lady but that means I'd have to leave the house for a few hours while she comes to clean. I love a clean house, it's just getting it done that's a hang up for me. I'm sure the footage of me only vacuuming as far as the cord will reach in the hallway outlet would be funny. Luckily I have a small ranch home. Another great piece of footage would be me breaking the wash machine because I shoved too much in it. (true store, happened today) Fortunately my husband is a pro at hooking the tub back into place, it makes him feel needed. Or when the dishwasher floods the kitchen, you use dirty towels to mop up the water because clean ones would mean more laundry. Okay - so I'm a little jealous of them having cleaning ladies.
Episode #9 - Plastic surgery. Most real moms I know, just don't do it. First - who could afford it? Second - who wants to drive their kids to school wrapped up like a mummy because we had "work" done. Now I would love me some liposuction but who is going to take care of my kids while I recover. "Sorry kiddos - mommy can't bend over to tie your shoes because I just had all my fat sucked out." I'm sure that would be a nice story my son would repeat to everyone he met.
Episode #10 - Meal planning - I didn't really even see any of the Housewives eat (other than the dinner party). I'm assuming they probably don't cook? The probably don't have to plan meals around the 3 food that their kids eat I'm guessing?? I'm pretty adamant that we all sit down for dinner and share our day but my kids are picky. It's my own fault. I should just make them eat it. But really, sometimes it's just easier to slap together a PB&J and save the arguments. I'm sure footage of our dinners would be "real". My daughter complaining that she doesn't like what we are having even though she ate it the week before. She knows if she doesn't get something else instead, she'll have starved to death by morning. There is no way she can make it until breakfast. Then there would be my son, crying because his chicken isn't clean (meaning no grill marks). And heaven forbid he not have a clean utensil for EVERY item on his plate. No way can he use the same spoon for applesauce and potatoes. Are you kidding me!?
So while my life as a real stay at home mom probably isn't as glamorous as the TV shows, I wouldn't change it for anything. Granted, I'd like to add the limo and cleaning services but I'd still keep it real!
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