Haters....

Nothing funny or exciting happened this past week which is nice for a change.  I was flipping through channels this morning and came across Oprah's channel.  I'm an Oprah hater.  Sorry.  I'm not a big fan and I don't watch her new OWN network.  It got me thinking though about her favorite things list.  As much as I don't like her, I would love to be on that episode.  Something about Oprah just seems fake to me.  Before you all become haters, yes, she's done amazing things.  Good for her.  Her favorite things always interested me though because they were usually things totally out of the average person's budget.  Sorry, I buy my lotion at Wal-Mart and it's $1.97 not $30.  And why didn't she ever do a hate list?  She could be like "Sorry folks, this is all the crap I don't like so I'm giving it to you"  and I bet it would still be awesome stuff.  So in honor of hating on Oprah and because my kids haven't done anything entertaining to post about, I thought I'd make my current hate list.

1.  All the stupid shows my husband records on the DVR (such as Top Gear, XTreme 4x4, All in the Family, Hot Rod TV and stupid WILL specials on things like Prohibition)

2.  Cleaning the bathrooms.

3.  When the dog poops under the clothesline.

4.  Buying new underwear.  Seriously folks, they are expensive and no one even sees them.

5.  Reality TV (except for Guiliana and Bill)

6.  Cake Boss.  Yes, I hate him.

7.  When someone calls and says "Oh I saw this cake on Cake Boss and it looks totally easy.  Can you make it?"  I say sure and give them a price and they say "Really?  It looks so easy on tv."  Well then maybe you should make it yourself.

8.  Wiping my son's butt.  But I also hate doing laundry when he does it himself so that's a real toss up.

9.  Ray Liotta

10.  When my husband gives the dog a hair cut and then puts the hair covered shirt into the laundry.  I don't know its in there and wash it and then the whole load is covered in black dog hair.  I don't notice this until half of the load is on the clothes line.  I then have to make the call if I want to rewash all of his clothes or just go crazy with the lint brush because it's his fault anyway.  But can I really send him to work looking like he made out with Big Foot, isn't that a direct reflection on me?  I hate tough decisions.

11.  When other kids are mean to my kids.  I want to punch the other kid in the face but have to be a responsible parent and tell my kids to "kill them with kindness".

12.  Stupid people.

13.  Carbs.  They are my kryptonite. (FYI - I looked up the definition of kryptonite and it says "the one weakness of an otherwise invaluable hero"  Yep - totally describes me and carbs.

14.  Door to door salesmen.  I'm a goon magnet so I can't tell them no and then I'm usually stuck with a years worth of a magazine I don't want or have to break the news to the vacuum salesman that yes, my carpet looks great now but I'm not buying his $2000 vacuum.  Thank goodness most of them are afraid of the dog and stay away.

15.  The fact that I won't be going to see Wicked in Peoria.  My husband was nice enough to lay the huge ad on the table though yesterday so I didn't talk to him most of the day.  I hate the fact that I don't think he noticed.  Or maybe he enjoyed it?

16.  The fact that my blog hasn't made me a millionaire yet.  I already have my book tour planned.  All I need is to write a book, rent a PreVost (so the family can meet up with me.  I will be flying.) and get some funds.

Okay, I'm done.  I really am not a hater.  I am very thankful for my life and all the blessings.  I do plan to be all Oprah-like and do a favorite things list eventually.  But it's all about keeping it real at the Rowland's house.  Even if it means your son is very "real" and tells you not to kiss him good-bye because your breath stinks.