It's 7:40 and I'm already ready to go back to bed. Have you ever had one of those mornings? Why is it, that regardless of what time we get up, the last 10 minutes before the bus comes turns into an Olympic event? Shoes are flying, people (me) are yelling, back packs are zipped in a frenzy.
Today was one of "those" mornings! The kids get on the bus at 7:30. Waking them up at 6:30 gives them an hour. One whole hour. 60 minutes to put on clothes and eat breakfast. Sounds easy enough right? On the occasional morning, it all goes down fine. However, on most mornings, not so much. This morning was a rough one.
The kids were tired, it's been a long, busy week. Usually one of them will cry but I can count on the other to be good and get ready. But when tears are shed by both, it's never pretty. Both needed "just 5 more minutes" in bed. Both ended up taking 20 more minutes despite my constant nagging. My son couldn't get up because his legs were too cold. My daughter couldn't get up because she was just exhausted. Tears started to flow and I started to wonder if mimosa ingredients were in the house.
It's now 7:05. My husband does his morning rounds of goodbye kisses before the lucky bastard gets to escape for what is about to become an extremely dramatic event. My son is still laying in his loft bed which is way too high to physically drag him from. My daughter's hair is beyond frizzy and there's no way we have time to straighten it which leads to an Academy Award performance on her part. I'm still yelling like a mad woman. We are now down to 20 some minutes to get them out the door or my pajama clad body would be taking them to school.
They finally get moving. Clothes are slowly being put on. I'm not too worried about my son because he runs all the way to the bus stop every morning regardless of how much time he has to get there. It's 7:20 and breakfast is being shoveled in. Lunches are packed and then repacked and things are moving along. All that's left to do is brush their teeth and send them on their way. I start to smile as I think about not having to leave the warm house. And then all hell breaks lose.....
Buddy, our Elf on the Shelf, has been spotted! He was in the kleenex box which sits on the back of the toilet. Well there was no way that my son was going to go pee with that creepy Elf staring at him. Of course, he can't move the Elf because Buddy will lose his magic. I go in and move the kleenex box and silently curse Buddy's "handler".
It's now 7:25. The boy is furiously brushing his teeth. My girl has taken her toothbrush back to my bathroom so I assume she's brushing her teeth. Of all days, my son has decided to take interest in his oral hygiene. Of course, on a normal day, this would have thrilled me. However, when you are 3 minutes from the bus coming, I don't have time for him to set his tooth timer and decide he's going to finally start using his Smart Rinse. Also, his gargling skills usually end up making his cough/gag and now there's a mess to clean up and he needs a new shirt.
It's now 7:28. I shove my son out the door with a quick kiss and "have a good day" and he's off.
One down and one to go.
My daughter comes sashaying down the hallway. I rush her along and apparently, she still hasn't brushed her teeth. Being the "mom of the year" and all, I hand her a piece of gum and send her on her way. Yes, it was a stellar parenting moment. Don't judge people. I'll make her brush twice tonight.
Both made it to the bus on time. At least I'm assuming they did because I closed the garage and no one came pounding on the door 5 minutes later. Yes, I could have taken them to school. That only buys us 10 extra minutes though. Sure, it would have guaranteed clean teeth but I like to think that I'm teaching them about real life folks....you know, deadlines, responsibility, etc. Yes, I'm incredibly blessed that I get to stay in my pajamas and can just send them out the door. I do not envy working moms who not only have to get their kids out the door, but also themselves and head to a day full of work. If I ever go back to work, I think my hours would have me leaving before the kids even had to get up! But then again, my kids get their love of sleep from me, so maybe that wouldn't work either.
So all that being said, I would consider this morning a success. While that may be shocking to all of you, no one got grounded or had privileges taken away. Success. Both kids left with dry eyes, no tears. Success. They made it to the bus. Success. Both had a hot breakfast, didn't have to eat on the way to the bus. Success. One had clean teeth. Success (at least in my book). I'll take these small successes as they come. After all, if this morning was an Olympic Event, we may not have gotten the gold but we still made it past the finish line.
And now I'm off to clean up Smart Rinse from the sink and counter. And mirror.
Friday, December 14, 2012
Friday, December 7, 2012
Axl Rose had it right....
The past few days have been challenging for me as a parent. Everything worked out fine but I find myself always wondering how much I'm screwing these kids up? Really, as a parent, do you ever catch yourself thinking "oh crap!" I do. Sometimes on a daily basis.
When our kids are little, we are told to trust our instincts. Sure, if my child has a temperature, my instinct is to give her medicine or take her to the doctor. Or if they fall down, instincts have you kissing their boo boo and telling them everything will be alright. But at what point do you have to take a minute and question those same instincts? Like when your middle school daughter comes home with hurt feelings over something a nasty girl said to her? Do you trust your instincts and go tell the little snot off at recess? Um, no. What I really wanted to say to my daughter was "That girl is a little beotch and karma is gonna get her" but as a parent, I held my "instincts" in.
While raising children, we make a lot of mistakes. Luckily, all the ones we make while they are babies, they aren't going to remember. Your child isn't going to remember the time he had a blow out diaper and you almost puked, so you just cut the onsie off of him and threw it away. He won't remember the time you cut his little toe nail too short and you were sure he was gonna bleed out so you stuck his toe in a bowl of flour so it would "clot" faster because that's what the vet told you to do with your dog. She won't remember the time you got a rubber band stuck in her hair so you had to cut a small section out and pray her curls would cover it. But she will remember how you react when she's 11 and her feeling are hurt. She'll remember the words you said to make her feel better and the way you hugged her and let her cry it out while you tried to hold in your own tears because you hate to see her so disappointed.
People say actions speak louder than words but they forget to tell you that words often hurt much worse than actions. My parenting instincts kick in and I want to make everything better for my kids. But does solving all their problems for them really help them in the long run. Sure, we both probably would have felt better if we told that girl off, but luckily, we didn't. There were actually several things I wanted to do but I did nothing. I was patient and just hoped that it would work it self out. I trusted my instincts that I had raised my daughter well enough that she would be able to handle the situation herself. And you know what, she did.
So I guess when Axl Rose sang his G&R hit song and said "Woman take it slow, and it'll work itself out fine...all we need is a little patience" he may have knew what he was talking about. But I will trust my instincts not to take any other parenting advice from him.
When our kids are little, we are told to trust our instincts. Sure, if my child has a temperature, my instinct is to give her medicine or take her to the doctor. Or if they fall down, instincts have you kissing their boo boo and telling them everything will be alright. But at what point do you have to take a minute and question those same instincts? Like when your middle school daughter comes home with hurt feelings over something a nasty girl said to her? Do you trust your instincts and go tell the little snot off at recess? Um, no. What I really wanted to say to my daughter was "That girl is a little beotch and karma is gonna get her" but as a parent, I held my "instincts" in.
While raising children, we make a lot of mistakes. Luckily, all the ones we make while they are babies, they aren't going to remember. Your child isn't going to remember the time he had a blow out diaper and you almost puked, so you just cut the onsie off of him and threw it away. He won't remember the time you cut his little toe nail too short and you were sure he was gonna bleed out so you stuck his toe in a bowl of flour so it would "clot" faster because that's what the vet told you to do with your dog. She won't remember the time you got a rubber band stuck in her hair so you had to cut a small section out and pray her curls would cover it. But she will remember how you react when she's 11 and her feeling are hurt. She'll remember the words you said to make her feel better and the way you hugged her and let her cry it out while you tried to hold in your own tears because you hate to see her so disappointed.
People say actions speak louder than words but they forget to tell you that words often hurt much worse than actions. My parenting instincts kick in and I want to make everything better for my kids. But does solving all their problems for them really help them in the long run. Sure, we both probably would have felt better if we told that girl off, but luckily, we didn't. There were actually several things I wanted to do but I did nothing. I was patient and just hoped that it would work it self out. I trusted my instincts that I had raised my daughter well enough that she would be able to handle the situation herself. And you know what, she did.
So I guess when Axl Rose sang his G&R hit song and said "Woman take it slow, and it'll work itself out fine...all we need is a little patience" he may have knew what he was talking about. But I will trust my instincts not to take any other parenting advice from him.
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
I.K.E.
We have this nickname at our house for the husband. Actually, my father in law came up with it, so this trait has been going on for some time. We like to call him Ike which is short for I Know Everything. For those that know my husband, you are all shaking your head yes and thinking..hmmm, yeah, I get that.
Now my husband is an amazing man. He's generous and kind and funny. And he's always right. I love seeing my son grow up and have all these wonderful characteristics coming through. He is very much like his dad and he too, is always right. Which means I am pretty much always wrong. Even when I know I'm right, my son is so convinced that he's right, he can sometimes even convince me.
Yesterday we were playing outside and I was picking up the 547 piles of dog poop that had accumulated in our yard in 3 days. I told my son to be careful where he was running so he wouldn't step in any. I actually said this about 700 times because I knew he wasn't paying attention. As I made my way around the yard, I came across a pile that had a footprint in it. Apparently, someone wasn't listening. I yelled over to my son and told him to check his shoes. He said they were clean and proceeded to play. About 20 minutes later we start to head inside and I notice poop on his shoe.
I said, "I thought you didn't have any poop on your shoe?"
He said "I don't" and in his mind, he really doesn't.
I reminded him that I had told him to check his shoes and asked how he knew that he didn't have anything on them. This is the story I was told...
"Well...basically I didn't even need to look at my shoe because I looked at the pile of poop and studied the footprint in it. I knew that it wasn't from me because it had a different pattern than my shoe."
Me: "Um, you had to have stepped in that poop because it's on your shoe and no one else has been in the yard."
"Welllll, I know I didn't step in it because when I was running, I made sure that when I got close to some, I would take a few steps and then swerve over to the side and sometimes I just ran really fast and dove over it so yeah, I didn't step in any. Plus that print has wavy lines and I know that the lines on the bottom of my shoe are straight. So yeah, it wasn't me."
Me: "Then how did it get on your shoe?"
"Mom, how am I supposed to know? It's just there."
Because heaven forbid we just admit that mom is right about something!!
So last night I was thinking about all this and my husband comes to bed. I usually like to go to sleep first because he snores. He has this amazing ability to fall asleep within seconds of laying down. It's almost like a bedtime version of narcolepsy. I'm actually kind of jealous.
So he gets into bed and gets comfy. I know I'm pretty much screwed because he's going to be snoring soon and then I won't be able to fall asleep. So I politely ask him to roll over before he falls asleep so he doesn't snore. Of course, Ike can't just do that without saying something. Here's what happened and I'm very happy to say that I was right!
"Darling husband, please roll over because if you don't now, I'm just going to have to wake you up in a minute when you are snoring and make you roll over." (okay - maybe the darling is exagerating just a bit!)
"I don't snore"
Trying to prove my point, "Okay, it's 11:09 right now, I bet that by 11:12, I will be waking you up to roll over."
"Whatever, I don't snore."
11:10 - laughing from both of us....HE WOKE HIMSELF UP SNORING!
I asked him why he was laughing and I got a mumbled "Shut up". Then he admitted that he woke himself up snoring less than a minute after we were talking! He rolls over slightly.
11:12 - he gets shoved to roll all over again
It feels good to be right. It doesn't happen to me very often around here so I have to cherish it when I can, even if it means losing a few minutes of sleep.
Now my husband is an amazing man. He's generous and kind and funny. And he's always right. I love seeing my son grow up and have all these wonderful characteristics coming through. He is very much like his dad and he too, is always right. Which means I am pretty much always wrong. Even when I know I'm right, my son is so convinced that he's right, he can sometimes even convince me.
Yesterday we were playing outside and I was picking up the 547 piles of dog poop that had accumulated in our yard in 3 days. I told my son to be careful where he was running so he wouldn't step in any. I actually said this about 700 times because I knew he wasn't paying attention. As I made my way around the yard, I came across a pile that had a footprint in it. Apparently, someone wasn't listening. I yelled over to my son and told him to check his shoes. He said they were clean and proceeded to play. About 20 minutes later we start to head inside and I notice poop on his shoe.
I said, "I thought you didn't have any poop on your shoe?"
He said "I don't" and in his mind, he really doesn't.
I reminded him that I had told him to check his shoes and asked how he knew that he didn't have anything on them. This is the story I was told...
"Well...basically I didn't even need to look at my shoe because I looked at the pile of poop and studied the footprint in it. I knew that it wasn't from me because it had a different pattern than my shoe."
Me: "Um, you had to have stepped in that poop because it's on your shoe and no one else has been in the yard."
"Welllll, I know I didn't step in it because when I was running, I made sure that when I got close to some, I would take a few steps and then swerve over to the side and sometimes I just ran really fast and dove over it so yeah, I didn't step in any. Plus that print has wavy lines and I know that the lines on the bottom of my shoe are straight. So yeah, it wasn't me."
Me: "Then how did it get on your shoe?"
"Mom, how am I supposed to know? It's just there."
Because heaven forbid we just admit that mom is right about something!!
So last night I was thinking about all this and my husband comes to bed. I usually like to go to sleep first because he snores. He has this amazing ability to fall asleep within seconds of laying down. It's almost like a bedtime version of narcolepsy. I'm actually kind of jealous.
So he gets into bed and gets comfy. I know I'm pretty much screwed because he's going to be snoring soon and then I won't be able to fall asleep. So I politely ask him to roll over before he falls asleep so he doesn't snore. Of course, Ike can't just do that without saying something. Here's what happened and I'm very happy to say that I was right!
"Darling husband, please roll over because if you don't now, I'm just going to have to wake you up in a minute when you are snoring and make you roll over." (okay - maybe the darling is exagerating just a bit!)
"I don't snore"
Trying to prove my point, "Okay, it's 11:09 right now, I bet that by 11:12, I will be waking you up to roll over."
"Whatever, I don't snore."
11:10 - laughing from both of us....HE WOKE HIMSELF UP SNORING!
I asked him why he was laughing and I got a mumbled "Shut up". Then he admitted that he woke himself up snoring less than a minute after we were talking! He rolls over slightly.
11:12 - he gets shoved to roll all over again
It feels good to be right. It doesn't happen to me very often around here so I have to cherish it when I can, even if it means losing a few minutes of sleep.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Flying black things...er....
Today was cleaning day at our house. No, a cleaning lady wasn't coming. We were cleaning. We've been so busy and "chore day" has been getting skipped. The kids want to go to the carnival tonight so I had leverage to get all the work done. We cranked the music through the surround sound and we were cleaning our hearts out.
I had just passed through the living room and my son was on the couch staring out the windows "dusting" the blinds. I went back into the bedroom when he started yelling for me.
He rushed back into our room and said "Mom, mom, there was just a big black thing flying through the living room!!! Come quick"
So I go into the living room and was kind of alarmed because he seemed pretty worked up. He reenacted how he was kneeling on the couch looking out the window and when he turned his head, he saw something black fly by. So I look around and don't see anything.
"Mom, it went behind dad's chair. I know it did. I think it may have been a bird or some type of really big insect or maybe even a bat!"
By this time his eyes are big as saucers and even though I know there's not a bird flying around the house, I haven't all together ruled out bat or large insect. For those that know me well, know that I'm not outdoorsy and I don't like critters. Especially not in my house. I think camping is for homeless people. My house needs to be pest free. So, I did what any good parent would do, I made my 7 year old son look behind the chair. I figured he was much quicker than me and I needed to be ready to catch anything that flew out.
Lucky for both of us, nothing flew out. By this time, I know there's nothing flying around. I'm thinking he was probably looking out in the sun and turned his head to fast and saw black spot. Or he's hallucinating. Either way, there wasn't anything flying around. I'm pretty sure our dog would have freaked out anyway.
But this new information didn't stop my son from going on a massive search. First, he noticed that the cushion of the love seat was lifted slightly so he thought that it had flown in there.
"Mom, what if it flew in there to hide under the love seat and is making a nest and then will have babies?"
So, of course, we lifted the cushions to make sure.
Then he went in his room and noticed something small and brown on his floor. He's 100% positive that's its an animal tooth. I'm 99.9% positive that it's a rock out of his aquarium which to him means I don't know anything. He's not buying it and has been carrying it around all day. I don't know if he thinks it's going to come back looking for it's tooth and then he will catch it? He's convinced it's from a large bat. I'm not asking any more questions.
For now, the adventure is over and the house is clean. We didn't find anymore clues. I asked him if we put the tooth under his pillow, will a bat fairy leave him money? He told me I was being ridiculous. I guess now we know where he gets it from!
I had just passed through the living room and my son was on the couch staring out the windows "dusting" the blinds. I went back into the bedroom when he started yelling for me.
He rushed back into our room and said "Mom, mom, there was just a big black thing flying through the living room!!! Come quick"
So I go into the living room and was kind of alarmed because he seemed pretty worked up. He reenacted how he was kneeling on the couch looking out the window and when he turned his head, he saw something black fly by. So I look around and don't see anything.
"Mom, it went behind dad's chair. I know it did. I think it may have been a bird or some type of really big insect or maybe even a bat!"
By this time his eyes are big as saucers and even though I know there's not a bird flying around the house, I haven't all together ruled out bat or large insect. For those that know me well, know that I'm not outdoorsy and I don't like critters. Especially not in my house. I think camping is for homeless people. My house needs to be pest free. So, I did what any good parent would do, I made my 7 year old son look behind the chair. I figured he was much quicker than me and I needed to be ready to catch anything that flew out.
Lucky for both of us, nothing flew out. By this time, I know there's nothing flying around. I'm thinking he was probably looking out in the sun and turned his head to fast and saw black spot. Or he's hallucinating. Either way, there wasn't anything flying around. I'm pretty sure our dog would have freaked out anyway.
But this new information didn't stop my son from going on a massive search. First, he noticed that the cushion of the love seat was lifted slightly so he thought that it had flown in there.
"Mom, what if it flew in there to hide under the love seat and is making a nest and then will have babies?"
So, of course, we lifted the cushions to make sure.
Then he went in his room and noticed something small and brown on his floor. He's 100% positive that's its an animal tooth. I'm 99.9% positive that it's a rock out of his aquarium which to him means I don't know anything. He's not buying it and has been carrying it around all day. I don't know if he thinks it's going to come back looking for it's tooth and then he will catch it? He's convinced it's from a large bat. I'm not asking any more questions.
For now, the adventure is over and the house is clean. We didn't find anymore clues. I asked him if we put the tooth under his pillow, will a bat fairy leave him money? He told me I was being ridiculous. I guess now we know where he gets it from!
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
I'm still kickin'....
It's been a while! Did ya'll think that summer break did me in? Nope, I'm still here and so far it's going by quick! We are gearing up for vacay in a few days so I'm sure I'll have some exciting posts from that. Hopefully we will get past the state line before too much drama enfolds!
We've had a busy summer! I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be getting "Mother of the Year" come August and I'm okay with that. I recently had someone tell me that they set a lot of their rules similar to our's because she saw me as an Authority on parenting. I almost laughed in her face. Yes, I was honored but I was really thinking "Sucker - we have no idea what we are doing!" Most days we are guessing and if you were a fly on the wall around here, you'd be rethinking following our example!
Some reasons I'm not winning any awards -
My sun is currently sunburned due to my lack of sunscreen application. He's thrilled with it because he thinks it will turn to tan and he won't have to wear sunscreen the rest of the summer. Apparently, he hasn't looked at his mother's pasty white skin that he inherited!
He also has on shorts that are from 2 summers ago and could be categorized as "daisy dukes." He has paired them with a hand me down shirt with someone else's last name on the back. I'm fine with this outfit because at least he got dressed when I asked.
Our water bill has increased this summer. My husband thinks it's because I'm watering the flowers and garden so much. Really it's because the shower is the only place the kids leave me alone. And when I say leave me alone, I'm using it loosely. The door is locked but that doesn't stop them from banging on it. I've found if I say "I can't hear you, wait until I get out" I can usually get about 3 more minutes of silence.
I lie to my kids. A lot. I have a friend that says she's never lied to her kids. Really? How is that even possible? Granted, I'm not lying about anything important. It's more just little fibs. Like when they ask if I'll take them to the big expensive water park and they even offer to pay with their own money and I have to lie and say "Oh darn, they are closed today! Looks like we have to stay in the A/C and watch a movie instead!" I used to be able to say NO, because I said so. But when you are with them 24/7, it sucks to always have to say no. So I feel like I"m just being more creative in my answers. And these kids get to do all kinds of fun stuff anyway. No once in a while won't kill them.
In other news, my husband got a new car. It's probably his dream car. For you "locals" you've already gotten to see it. No, it's not a fancy sports car, it's an old man Lincoln Town Car. He loves it, the kids love it, and I have to say, it is pretty comfy to ride in. We look like 90 yr. olds but I'm okay with that. He is pretty much obsessed with it and you tube videos on how to clean it. I keep seeing things bought on Amazon and I don't even ask anymore. It's all kinds of new cleaners and mitts and waxes. My dad has cars he shows and details them. I'm used to this obsession. And I'm okay with it. I'm glad he has a new hobby and has pride in his ride. In the past 2 days, he's spent 6 hours cleaning it and that's just to prep it for the polish and wax. If you live near by, you've even gotten to witness him using the air compressor to dry it and last night he used the air compressor to run some special polisher. It's loud. Very loud. But as he keeps telling me, "Ain't nothin' finer than the Luxury Liner" so I'll just go with it. I'm sure it will be a sweet ride during vacation.
Vacation is a week in a cabin which we've done the past few years. I love to instill "tradition" in my kids and we always have fun. I don't remember vacation being this much work when I was a kid. That's probably why we hardly went anywhere. I'm limiting my kids to one small bag each that they can take in the car with activities and snacks. We are used to taking the van where we can just reach in the back and get what we need. I can see it now, we'll be pulled over with me digging through the trunk to get that one thing they have to have! Everyone driving by will think "Oh look at that nice lady, getting something out of the trunk for her grandpa" Little do they know "Grandpa" is really threatening to ground the kids in the back and I volunteered to hop out in 70 mph traffic because it means I'll have 30 seconds of peace! Wish me luck folks!
We've had a busy summer! I've come to terms with the fact that I won't be getting "Mother of the Year" come August and I'm okay with that. I recently had someone tell me that they set a lot of their rules similar to our's because she saw me as an Authority on parenting. I almost laughed in her face. Yes, I was honored but I was really thinking "Sucker - we have no idea what we are doing!" Most days we are guessing and if you were a fly on the wall around here, you'd be rethinking following our example!
Some reasons I'm not winning any awards -
My sun is currently sunburned due to my lack of sunscreen application. He's thrilled with it because he thinks it will turn to tan and he won't have to wear sunscreen the rest of the summer. Apparently, he hasn't looked at his mother's pasty white skin that he inherited!
He also has on shorts that are from 2 summers ago and could be categorized as "daisy dukes." He has paired them with a hand me down shirt with someone else's last name on the back. I'm fine with this outfit because at least he got dressed when I asked.
Our water bill has increased this summer. My husband thinks it's because I'm watering the flowers and garden so much. Really it's because the shower is the only place the kids leave me alone. And when I say leave me alone, I'm using it loosely. The door is locked but that doesn't stop them from banging on it. I've found if I say "I can't hear you, wait until I get out" I can usually get about 3 more minutes of silence.
I lie to my kids. A lot. I have a friend that says she's never lied to her kids. Really? How is that even possible? Granted, I'm not lying about anything important. It's more just little fibs. Like when they ask if I'll take them to the big expensive water park and they even offer to pay with their own money and I have to lie and say "Oh darn, they are closed today! Looks like we have to stay in the A/C and watch a movie instead!" I used to be able to say NO, because I said so. But when you are with them 24/7, it sucks to always have to say no. So I feel like I"m just being more creative in my answers. And these kids get to do all kinds of fun stuff anyway. No once in a while won't kill them.
In other news, my husband got a new car. It's probably his dream car. For you "locals" you've already gotten to see it. No, it's not a fancy sports car, it's an old man Lincoln Town Car. He loves it, the kids love it, and I have to say, it is pretty comfy to ride in. We look like 90 yr. olds but I'm okay with that. He is pretty much obsessed with it and you tube videos on how to clean it. I keep seeing things bought on Amazon and I don't even ask anymore. It's all kinds of new cleaners and mitts and waxes. My dad has cars he shows and details them. I'm used to this obsession. And I'm okay with it. I'm glad he has a new hobby and has pride in his ride. In the past 2 days, he's spent 6 hours cleaning it and that's just to prep it for the polish and wax. If you live near by, you've even gotten to witness him using the air compressor to dry it and last night he used the air compressor to run some special polisher. It's loud. Very loud. But as he keeps telling me, "Ain't nothin' finer than the Luxury Liner" so I'll just go with it. I'm sure it will be a sweet ride during vacation.
Vacation is a week in a cabin which we've done the past few years. I love to instill "tradition" in my kids and we always have fun. I don't remember vacation being this much work when I was a kid. That's probably why we hardly went anywhere. I'm limiting my kids to one small bag each that they can take in the car with activities and snacks. We are used to taking the van where we can just reach in the back and get what we need. I can see it now, we'll be pulled over with me digging through the trunk to get that one thing they have to have! Everyone driving by will think "Oh look at that nice lady, getting something out of the trunk for her grandpa" Little do they know "Grandpa" is really threatening to ground the kids in the back and I volunteered to hop out in 70 mph traffic because it means I'll have 30 seconds of peace! Wish me luck folks!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
And so the fun begins...
It's summer break. Oh happy day. My kids are thrilled. Me? Not so much. Now before you get all riled up, I love my kids. I love spending time with them, being with them, etc. I love being a mom. But summer break is it's own kind of evil. For one, it's usually hot. And humid. And we are together 24/7 minus the one hour of daily camp or activity we have schedule. We just tend to drive each other nuts. I'm sure they are sick of me by time August rolls around.
As the kids strolled out to the kitchen this morning, I mentioned that they both needed to make their beds. This was going to be a rule. Beds will be made every morning. I make my bed every day, shouldn't they? Well, they did not agree. You would have thought I told them they had to clean up dog poop! Seriously, it takes 2 minutes. My 11 yr. old likes to argue that "why make it when you are just going to sleep in it again?" She spouted that off and I said "well why wipe your butt if you are just going to poop again" I don't know if it sunk in or she was just disgusted but her bed did get made.
So as the day progressed and idle threats were made, I started to compose a list in my head of all the annoying things my kids say and do. Again, love the little angels but come on. If you read this list and don't agree with just one, you're lying.
1. "I'm bored." Really? Because I can think of 100 things for you to do around this dirty house but you aren't going to want to do one of them so stop saying you're bored.
2. "Can I have a sip of your drink?" Yes, because I love my drink to look like a sea monkey aquarium. And that sip really means the whole drink until the ice hits you in the face and you make a mess that I will have to clean up.
3. "What are we going to do today?" Asked the MINUTE they get up and sometimes even before they go to bed. And then asked repeatedly throughout the day.
4. "That's not fair." Really? It's not fair that your brother ate the last cookie even though you just had 4? How about the starving kids in Ethiopia?
5. "Can I have a friend over?" Sure, because they 2 of you aren't driving me crazy enough, let's add a 3rd.
6. "Why can't we get a pool? Everyone else has one." Really? Um, I can name 20 people right now that don't. Can you name 20 people who do? I didn't think so, now go play in the hose.
7. "I'm hungry" said every 30 minutes. I'm pretty sure they don't get to eat all day long at school so I'm not sure why they think they should at home?
8. "Why do I have to take a bath?" Probably because you smell like goat and skid mark underwear. Apparently I need to toss a bar of Irish Spring out there during hose time.
9. "Everyone else gets to do it..." I told my daughter that I didn't care about everyone else, just her. She said "Nice Mom, you don't care about everyone. Real nice." I have no idea where she gets the snotty attitude.
10. "Can we do something fun today?" Why? Aren't you having fun fighting with each other and then repeatedly getting in trouble. Ya - me neither. So how about we all stop and take a nap. That sounds fun to mommy.
These kids! What are we gonna do? I know one day I'll look back and cry that I don't have anyone at home driving me bat crap crazy. I know I'll miss this. It's going so fast already. But can't we all just get along? It should be an interesting 89 days....not that anyone's counting.
As the kids strolled out to the kitchen this morning, I mentioned that they both needed to make their beds. This was going to be a rule. Beds will be made every morning. I make my bed every day, shouldn't they? Well, they did not agree. You would have thought I told them they had to clean up dog poop! Seriously, it takes 2 minutes. My 11 yr. old likes to argue that "why make it when you are just going to sleep in it again?" She spouted that off and I said "well why wipe your butt if you are just going to poop again" I don't know if it sunk in or she was just disgusted but her bed did get made.
So as the day progressed and idle threats were made, I started to compose a list in my head of all the annoying things my kids say and do. Again, love the little angels but come on. If you read this list and don't agree with just one, you're lying.
1. "I'm bored." Really? Because I can think of 100 things for you to do around this dirty house but you aren't going to want to do one of them so stop saying you're bored.
2. "Can I have a sip of your drink?" Yes, because I love my drink to look like a sea monkey aquarium. And that sip really means the whole drink until the ice hits you in the face and you make a mess that I will have to clean up.
3. "What are we going to do today?" Asked the MINUTE they get up and sometimes even before they go to bed. And then asked repeatedly throughout the day.
4. "That's not fair." Really? It's not fair that your brother ate the last cookie even though you just had 4? How about the starving kids in Ethiopia?
5. "Can I have a friend over?" Sure, because they 2 of you aren't driving me crazy enough, let's add a 3rd.
6. "Why can't we get a pool? Everyone else has one." Really? Um, I can name 20 people right now that don't. Can you name 20 people who do? I didn't think so, now go play in the hose.
7. "I'm hungry" said every 30 minutes. I'm pretty sure they don't get to eat all day long at school so I'm not sure why they think they should at home?
8. "Why do I have to take a bath?" Probably because you smell like goat and skid mark underwear. Apparently I need to toss a bar of Irish Spring out there during hose time.
9. "Everyone else gets to do it..." I told my daughter that I didn't care about everyone else, just her. She said "Nice Mom, you don't care about everyone. Real nice." I have no idea where she gets the snotty attitude.
10. "Can we do something fun today?" Why? Aren't you having fun fighting with each other and then repeatedly getting in trouble. Ya - me neither. So how about we all stop and take a nap. That sounds fun to mommy.
These kids! What are we gonna do? I know one day I'll look back and cry that I don't have anyone at home driving me bat crap crazy. I know I'll miss this. It's going so fast already. But can't we all just get along? It should be an interesting 89 days....not that anyone's counting.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
Disposable clothes
Why hasn't anyone invented this yet? Um, probably because everyone is too busy doing stupid laundry. I know it's not "green" but think of all the water we would save. And soap. And time. I'm all for it. Please someone, get on this.
I posted on facebook today about hating the never ending chore of laundry. Turns out I'm not the only one! It's always there. I'm on my 4th load today and there are already a few dirty things in the basket. It. Never. Stops. And there are only 4 of us!
A friend mentioned that at least my kids were older and didn't make as much of a mess. I do have to agree. There's nothing worse that spit up and blow out laundry. Been there and I'm glad we are past it. But now laundry has taken a different turn. We have sports practices now so that's usually an additional outfit change. Not to mention the baseball pants, uniform, special socks....and if you have a game two nights in a row, be sure to get on it as soon as you come home from the first game. While my son has no problem wearing dirty, stinky clothes....a few of the moms may notice that you just got there and he's already covered in dirt stains from sliding. Then you have to make up some lame lie like "Darn him, he slid as soon as we got out of the car and is already filthy!" Admit it. You've all done it.
My daughter is now doing her own laundry. Probably because I never know what is clean and what is dirty and nothing makes it to the basket. She now has a basket in her room and does it on Saturdays. I've noticed that she's now wearing jeans more than once? Coincidence? I think not. Usually her mornings consist of a few wardrobe changes and most of what is the "no" pile ends up on the floor. She's my clone and has the theory, why put it away when you are just gonna wear it again? I have gotten better about this, trying to set a good example and all.
I shouldn't complain. My husband did all the laundry the first 7 yrs. of our marriage. I worked back then so he did the laundry. I had complained about something with his laundry skills (maybe that he didn't separate properly?) and he went on strike and didn't do mine. I didn't notice until I had no pants to wear to work one day. Nothing like sporting extremely faded black knit Paris Sport Club pants to work from 1993. I learned my lesson and now he has a great story to tell.
And remember my son has such great wiping skills....skid marks are like self contained blow outs. They still surprise you! Just last night I had an extra set of MY pants to wash because he peed on me. Yes, my 7 yr. old peed on my pant leg. How does that even happen? I was sitting on the side of the tub getting his bath water started and he runs in trying to strip and doing the "pee dance" as we call it. He basically waited way too long. He must have known it was going to shoot out fast because he actually sat down to pee. Guess it wasn't pointing down because the next thing I know my leg is getting wet. He was nice enough to say "Hey Mom, I got a little pee on you leg" Like I didn't notice the warm wet spot? And then he said "But at least I didn't get any on the floor" Which I have to say, I was pretty grateful for because if there's one thing I hate more than laundry, it's mopping! Don't even get me started on that thankless chore!
I posted on facebook today about hating the never ending chore of laundry. Turns out I'm not the only one! It's always there. I'm on my 4th load today and there are already a few dirty things in the basket. It. Never. Stops. And there are only 4 of us!
A friend mentioned that at least my kids were older and didn't make as much of a mess. I do have to agree. There's nothing worse that spit up and blow out laundry. Been there and I'm glad we are past it. But now laundry has taken a different turn. We have sports practices now so that's usually an additional outfit change. Not to mention the baseball pants, uniform, special socks....and if you have a game two nights in a row, be sure to get on it as soon as you come home from the first game. While my son has no problem wearing dirty, stinky clothes....a few of the moms may notice that you just got there and he's already covered in dirt stains from sliding. Then you have to make up some lame lie like "Darn him, he slid as soon as we got out of the car and is already filthy!" Admit it. You've all done it.
My daughter is now doing her own laundry. Probably because I never know what is clean and what is dirty and nothing makes it to the basket. She now has a basket in her room and does it on Saturdays. I've noticed that she's now wearing jeans more than once? Coincidence? I think not. Usually her mornings consist of a few wardrobe changes and most of what is the "no" pile ends up on the floor. She's my clone and has the theory, why put it away when you are just gonna wear it again? I have gotten better about this, trying to set a good example and all.
I shouldn't complain. My husband did all the laundry the first 7 yrs. of our marriage. I worked back then so he did the laundry. I had complained about something with his laundry skills (maybe that he didn't separate properly?) and he went on strike and didn't do mine. I didn't notice until I had no pants to wear to work one day. Nothing like sporting extremely faded black knit Paris Sport Club pants to work from 1993. I learned my lesson and now he has a great story to tell.
And remember my son has such great wiping skills....skid marks are like self contained blow outs. They still surprise you! Just last night I had an extra set of MY pants to wash because he peed on me. Yes, my 7 yr. old peed on my pant leg. How does that even happen? I was sitting on the side of the tub getting his bath water started and he runs in trying to strip and doing the "pee dance" as we call it. He basically waited way too long. He must have known it was going to shoot out fast because he actually sat down to pee. Guess it wasn't pointing down because the next thing I know my leg is getting wet. He was nice enough to say "Hey Mom, I got a little pee on you leg" Like I didn't notice the warm wet spot? And then he said "But at least I didn't get any on the floor" Which I have to say, I was pretty grateful for because if there's one thing I hate more than laundry, it's mopping! Don't even get me started on that thankless chore!
Saturday, March 10, 2012
Nut cups
That title just pulls you in doesn't it? Could I be talking about those cute little white paper cups at bridal showers or a piece of sports equipment? Well, unfortunately for you, I'm talking about the later.
Today we did a little shopping. Me and the girl went to Michael's for some crafts so my husband and the boy went to Dick's Sporting Goods. They were supposed to be looking at batting helmets but apparently got distracted by other items. We were driving home and my son said "Hey mom, guess what I saw at the store? There was this thing called a NUT CUP and it's for your nut which is another word for your weiner which is another word for your bad spot."
Me - "Wow, it sounds like you and your dad had some fun shopping."
I then turn to my husband who is cracking up and ask at what age the boy needs to start wearing a cup. I mean really, he's only 7 but if he ever finds a girl in the way way future who meets his mama's approval, I would like some grandkids. My husband goes on to explain that he never wore one, just a jock strap.
Now I will be the first to admit that I know very little about sports. All this stuff with my son is new to me. There's all this equipment to buy, every sport needs its own kind of shoes, it's all a bit overwhelming. So of course I had questions about the jock strap.
Me - "So, do you just wear a strap or do you wear it with underwear?"
Husband - "Well you are supposed to wear it by itself"
M- "What? So you butt cheeks are just hanging out?"
H - "Yes, kinda like a thong but the strap is below your butt"
The kids are now cracking up. Yes, we are horrible parents.
M - "That's really gross, is there any strap that goes up the middle?"
H - "No (he's getting agitated) haven't you ever seen a jock strap?"
M- "Um, no, whose jock strap would I have seen?"
H- "You had a brother that played sports"
M - "Yes, but it's not like he walked around in it or left it laying around!! How about when the time comes, you just take care of all that business and I won't worry about it"
The boy picks this time to pipe up and say "Hey mom, why don't they just call it a nut strap?"
And folks - that's how we roll on a Saturday night.
Today we did a little shopping. Me and the girl went to Michael's for some crafts so my husband and the boy went to Dick's Sporting Goods. They were supposed to be looking at batting helmets but apparently got distracted by other items. We were driving home and my son said "Hey mom, guess what I saw at the store? There was this thing called a NUT CUP and it's for your nut which is another word for your weiner which is another word for your bad spot."
Me - "Wow, it sounds like you and your dad had some fun shopping."
I then turn to my husband who is cracking up and ask at what age the boy needs to start wearing a cup. I mean really, he's only 7 but if he ever finds a girl in the way way future who meets his mama's approval, I would like some grandkids. My husband goes on to explain that he never wore one, just a jock strap.
Now I will be the first to admit that I know very little about sports. All this stuff with my son is new to me. There's all this equipment to buy, every sport needs its own kind of shoes, it's all a bit overwhelming. So of course I had questions about the jock strap.
Me - "So, do you just wear a strap or do you wear it with underwear?"
Husband - "Well you are supposed to wear it by itself"
M- "What? So you butt cheeks are just hanging out?"
H - "Yes, kinda like a thong but the strap is below your butt"
The kids are now cracking up. Yes, we are horrible parents.
M - "That's really gross, is there any strap that goes up the middle?"
H - "No (he's getting agitated) haven't you ever seen a jock strap?"
M- "Um, no, whose jock strap would I have seen?"
H- "You had a brother that played sports"
M - "Yes, but it's not like he walked around in it or left it laying around!! How about when the time comes, you just take care of all that business and I won't worry about it"
The boy picks this time to pipe up and say "Hey mom, why don't they just call it a nut strap?"
And folks - that's how we roll on a Saturday night.
Wednesday, February 29, 2012
Wax on, wax off...or maybe not.
I thought that since I usually use my kids for comedic pleasure, I would put myself out there for a good laugh today.
A few weeks ago, I went into my favorite Asian nail place to get my eye brows waxed. The older lady in there is hilarious and pretty darn good for $8. I have gone there before and have always had good luck. Sometimes those places are hit or miss but I like this place because they are all sister or related somehow and are always fighting. Quite entertaining. One time I was part of their "FaceTime" with their daughter and new granddaughter.
Anyway, the one thing I don't like is that they are very pushy. They are like the drug dealers/bad car salesmen of the nail industry. You walk in for a $15 manicure and when you leave, somehow your bill is $47 because along the way you've agreed to a hot rock massage, a pedicure and a flower on your big toe that you don't even really like. I don't know how this happens. They are talking and the next thing I know, I've said yes to a question I don't even understand. Add $5 to your bill. Then they ask if I want the flower on my toe, I say "No, I don't think so" and they bust out the thin brush and say "Ya ya, you need flower" and there's another $5. They are tricky like that and let's be honest, I'm a big sucker and can't say no. Even if I knew what they were talking about.
So this brings us to my waxing episode. I went in to get my brows done. That's all I ever get done. $8 and I'm in and out in 5 min. Well the owner was in there and I was pretty excited because she does the best. I get up on the table and they proceed. One, two, and I'm done. Or so I thought. She proceeds to tell me that I also need my lip done. Wha, what? My lip? Seriously? Do I have a stash and not even know? What? So I say no thanks, I don't think that's necessary. She said "Oh baby doll, yes, you need lip wax, you have lots and lots hair there" Um, at this point I don't know if she wants another $6 or if I really have a stash. I say no thanks, I think it's fine. She said "Oh honey, you friends no tell you, you need lip waxed" What?? Did my friends really not tell me. Um beotches - you need to tell a girl if she has a stash. So you know what I did - I got my lip waxed. And it hurt. Bad. If they could give me a face epidural, I would have gotten one. She proceeds to show me the "hairy" wax strip and I didn't see anything but that could have been because there were tears rolling out of my eyes. I paid my money and left. (Note - I immediately asked my friends and they assured me I did not have a mustache and they would tell me if I did).
So about 3 weeks have passed and a friend mentioned that she just uses the Sally Hansen wax strips from Wal-Mart and does her face herself. 20 strips for $5 sounds great to me so I pick up a box.
At this point, I would just like to point out that I am a huge wimp. Not even kidding. Ask any nurse that was within 3 miles when I gave birth to Bobby (with an epidural I might add). Huge wimp, not gonna lie about it. If I ever get "the sugar" as my grandma used to call it, I will have to have home health come and prick my finger or administer insulin because I won't be able to do it myself. I'm sure my husband would be willing to jab me with needles but I think I'd have to hire a professional.
I'm not sure what I was thinking when I bought these wax strips. I guess I wasn't thinking. When I go somewhere and get waxed, it's quick and over before I can think too much about it. So I get all ready, I put the little piece of wax strip on and then....Oh snap - who's gonna yank this baby off? I mean, I can't do it. I'm home alone and I'm pretty sure our dog can't do it. Do I sit with a wax strip on my face for 8 hours until the kids get home and just have them yank it off. As tempting as that sounds, I had places to go. So I take a few deep breath and 1, 2, 3....nothing. Another deep breath, a few paces around the bedroom, 1, 2, 3, .....I can't do it. My palms are sweating. I do a little corner test and yeah, it's gotta be one quick pull or it's going to be even worse. I have friends I can call but I'm pretty sure they would think I was ridiculous and I haven't showered and am pretty scary. Not to mention, they'd probably piss themselves when I opened the door with a wax strip on my forehead.
So eventually, I did pull the strip off. It hurt. Bad. I'm not gonna lie, my eyes watered. A lot. I did save some money but I wasted 1 (or maybe 2) hours. It wasn't nearly as entertaining as the nail place but hopefully it's been entertaining for you!
A few weeks ago, I went into my favorite Asian nail place to get my eye brows waxed. The older lady in there is hilarious and pretty darn good for $8. I have gone there before and have always had good luck. Sometimes those places are hit or miss but I like this place because they are all sister or related somehow and are always fighting. Quite entertaining. One time I was part of their "FaceTime" with their daughter and new granddaughter.
Anyway, the one thing I don't like is that they are very pushy. They are like the drug dealers/bad car salesmen of the nail industry. You walk in for a $15 manicure and when you leave, somehow your bill is $47 because along the way you've agreed to a hot rock massage, a pedicure and a flower on your big toe that you don't even really like. I don't know how this happens. They are talking and the next thing I know, I've said yes to a question I don't even understand. Add $5 to your bill. Then they ask if I want the flower on my toe, I say "No, I don't think so" and they bust out the thin brush and say "Ya ya, you need flower" and there's another $5. They are tricky like that and let's be honest, I'm a big sucker and can't say no. Even if I knew what they were talking about.
So this brings us to my waxing episode. I went in to get my brows done. That's all I ever get done. $8 and I'm in and out in 5 min. Well the owner was in there and I was pretty excited because she does the best. I get up on the table and they proceed. One, two, and I'm done. Or so I thought. She proceeds to tell me that I also need my lip done. Wha, what? My lip? Seriously? Do I have a stash and not even know? What? So I say no thanks, I don't think that's necessary. She said "Oh baby doll, yes, you need lip wax, you have lots and lots hair there" Um, at this point I don't know if she wants another $6 or if I really have a stash. I say no thanks, I think it's fine. She said "Oh honey, you friends no tell you, you need lip waxed" What?? Did my friends really not tell me. Um beotches - you need to tell a girl if she has a stash. So you know what I did - I got my lip waxed. And it hurt. Bad. If they could give me a face epidural, I would have gotten one. She proceeds to show me the "hairy" wax strip and I didn't see anything but that could have been because there were tears rolling out of my eyes. I paid my money and left. (Note - I immediately asked my friends and they assured me I did not have a mustache and they would tell me if I did).
So about 3 weeks have passed and a friend mentioned that she just uses the Sally Hansen wax strips from Wal-Mart and does her face herself. 20 strips for $5 sounds great to me so I pick up a box.
At this point, I would just like to point out that I am a huge wimp. Not even kidding. Ask any nurse that was within 3 miles when I gave birth to Bobby (with an epidural I might add). Huge wimp, not gonna lie about it. If I ever get "the sugar" as my grandma used to call it, I will have to have home health come and prick my finger or administer insulin because I won't be able to do it myself. I'm sure my husband would be willing to jab me with needles but I think I'd have to hire a professional.
I'm not sure what I was thinking when I bought these wax strips. I guess I wasn't thinking. When I go somewhere and get waxed, it's quick and over before I can think too much about it. So I get all ready, I put the little piece of wax strip on and then....Oh snap - who's gonna yank this baby off? I mean, I can't do it. I'm home alone and I'm pretty sure our dog can't do it. Do I sit with a wax strip on my face for 8 hours until the kids get home and just have them yank it off. As tempting as that sounds, I had places to go. So I take a few deep breath and 1, 2, 3....nothing. Another deep breath, a few paces around the bedroom, 1, 2, 3, .....I can't do it. My palms are sweating. I do a little corner test and yeah, it's gotta be one quick pull or it's going to be even worse. I have friends I can call but I'm pretty sure they would think I was ridiculous and I haven't showered and am pretty scary. Not to mention, they'd probably piss themselves when I opened the door with a wax strip on my forehead.
So eventually, I did pull the strip off. It hurt. Bad. I'm not gonna lie, my eyes watered. A lot. I did save some money but I wasted 1 (or maybe 2) hours. It wasn't nearly as entertaining as the nail place but hopefully it's been entertaining for you!
Monday, February 27, 2012
The birthday card
This past weekend was my birthday. Once you're a mom, your own birthday really isn't a big deal. For my kid's birthday, I go all out. I plan everything from the invite to the menu to the favors. But when it's my own birthday, it's just another day. However, your kids still think your day should be special.
I'm going to be totally honest here and admit that I take full advantage of it. I like to play the "birthday card". Admit it, you know you all do it. As a mom, I like to try and keep everyone happy. Sometimes this means that I don't always get my way. I'm okay with that. But on my birthday, I can use the birthday card at any time.
For example:
Kids are fighting. All I have to say is "It's my birthday" and they immediately stop.
Trying to take a nap and the kids are loud. All I have to say is "It's my birthday" and all is quiet.
I don't want to watch Wildman on Animal Planet or Spongebob. All I have to say is "It's my birthday" and Food network is turned on.
So you get the point. It's quite wonderful actually. As moms, we very rarely get our way (my husband is rolling his eyes right now) so we have to take advantage of it when we can. And you know what, my kids were fine with it. They were very eager to please me on my special day. Maybe I am teaching them to be a little selfish but shouldn't one day a year be all about you?
So if it's your birthday, take full advantage. Your kids will love making you happy. I know for the next 364 days, I will be planning for my next special day!
I'm going to be totally honest here and admit that I take full advantage of it. I like to play the "birthday card". Admit it, you know you all do it. As a mom, I like to try and keep everyone happy. Sometimes this means that I don't always get my way. I'm okay with that. But on my birthday, I can use the birthday card at any time.
For example:
Kids are fighting. All I have to say is "It's my birthday" and they immediately stop.
Trying to take a nap and the kids are loud. All I have to say is "It's my birthday" and all is quiet.
I don't want to watch Wildman on Animal Planet or Spongebob. All I have to say is "It's my birthday" and Food network is turned on.
So you get the point. It's quite wonderful actually. As moms, we very rarely get our way (my husband is rolling his eyes right now) so we have to take advantage of it when we can. And you know what, my kids were fine with it. They were very eager to please me on my special day. Maybe I am teaching them to be a little selfish but shouldn't one day a year be all about you?
So if it's your birthday, take full advantage. Your kids will love making you happy. I know for the next 364 days, I will be planning for my next special day!
Monday, January 23, 2012
A day in the life of a goon magnet.........
I know I've posted about my goon magnet gene before but I don't think people realize the magnitude of this skill that I have. Some may not see it is a skill, my husband being one of them. But really, I think it's a skill. I mean seriously, not everyone has this quality but maybe if they did, the world would be a better place. I just think it goes to show that I have a friendly face and sunny disposition.
So let me take you through a typical day when the goon magnet was in full force. The funny thing is, at one point, my husband even said, sounds like a blog entry to me! He's catching on.
Last week I went into town to run errands and meet my husband for lunch. First stop was Sam's. I had to get a new membership. By the time I left, I knew the following facts - the lady helping me built a house in 1967 about a mile from where I currently live. She lived there until last year and then moved. Also, another lady felt the need to tell me about her arthritis and why she has to buy calcium chews at Sam's because they are 79 cents cheaper. Her son brings her to Sam's once a month but this month he couldn't so she had to ask a neighbor. (I almost volunteered for next month but bit my tongue.)
Next up I met my husband at Olive Garden. Now if you have read past posts, you know I've had an "encounter" there before with a lady trying on a bra. This wasn't nearly as bad. I dropped my coat off at the table and proceeded to the bathroom. While there, I met a woman that is from Ottawa (20 min. from my hometown) We talked about all the snow they had and that's how she mentioned where she was from. My husband just shook his head when I returned to the table and mentioned I met someone from Ottawa. I'm thinking he should have been impressed but I guess not.
Then I went to Barnes & Noble and must have impressed a man with my backwards driving as I reversed into a parking spot. We had a nice chat as we walked in about how his wife can't back in and once wrecked their car by hitting their garage. Luckily, he was not there when I left and totally drove over the curb. I don't think he would have been so impressed.
At that point I dropped off a bag of food to a homeless man I've been stalking. It's hard to stalk someone who doesn't have a home. He's always on the same corner so last time I saw him, I went and bought a bunch of stuff for him and then he was gone. I haven't seen him since until that day. Luckily I still had everything with me and finally got it delivered.
Then I headed to Aldi's. There I met an old man that couldn't read his wife's grocery list. I think it said peanut butter but may have said peanut brittle. I suggested he just buy both and he laughed and agreed. And just a tip - when you leave Aldi's I always leave the quarter in the cart for the next person. Because really, doesn't it just make your day when you find the cart already paid for? I know it makes mine so why not spread the joy one quarter at a time.
I'm fine with being a goon magnet. These stories were pretty mild compared to some things that have happened. I'm glad that I can put a smile on someone's face. And I think it's really funny that my daughter has the same gene. Just yesterday we were trying on shoes at a store and an older lady came up and talked to my daughter about the stiletto heels on display. She reminisced about back in the day and the heels she wore compared to the ones today. She left with a smile on her face and my daughter just looked at me and said "Don't even say it"
So spread a little goon magnet joy. Stop and help a stranger, smile more often. Some people may think you are nuts but most will smile back. Be friendly to everyone, you don't know what they have going on in their life and that one nice thing you do for them may make a big difference. Start spreading joy, even it's just one quarter at a time.
So let me take you through a typical day when the goon magnet was in full force. The funny thing is, at one point, my husband even said, sounds like a blog entry to me! He's catching on.
Last week I went into town to run errands and meet my husband for lunch. First stop was Sam's. I had to get a new membership. By the time I left, I knew the following facts - the lady helping me built a house in 1967 about a mile from where I currently live. She lived there until last year and then moved. Also, another lady felt the need to tell me about her arthritis and why she has to buy calcium chews at Sam's because they are 79 cents cheaper. Her son brings her to Sam's once a month but this month he couldn't so she had to ask a neighbor. (I almost volunteered for next month but bit my tongue.)
Next up I met my husband at Olive Garden. Now if you have read past posts, you know I've had an "encounter" there before with a lady trying on a bra. This wasn't nearly as bad. I dropped my coat off at the table and proceeded to the bathroom. While there, I met a woman that is from Ottawa (20 min. from my hometown) We talked about all the snow they had and that's how she mentioned where she was from. My husband just shook his head when I returned to the table and mentioned I met someone from Ottawa. I'm thinking he should have been impressed but I guess not.
Then I went to Barnes & Noble and must have impressed a man with my backwards driving as I reversed into a parking spot. We had a nice chat as we walked in about how his wife can't back in and once wrecked their car by hitting their garage. Luckily, he was not there when I left and totally drove over the curb. I don't think he would have been so impressed.
At that point I dropped off a bag of food to a homeless man I've been stalking. It's hard to stalk someone who doesn't have a home. He's always on the same corner so last time I saw him, I went and bought a bunch of stuff for him and then he was gone. I haven't seen him since until that day. Luckily I still had everything with me and finally got it delivered.
Then I headed to Aldi's. There I met an old man that couldn't read his wife's grocery list. I think it said peanut butter but may have said peanut brittle. I suggested he just buy both and he laughed and agreed. And just a tip - when you leave Aldi's I always leave the quarter in the cart for the next person. Because really, doesn't it just make your day when you find the cart already paid for? I know it makes mine so why not spread the joy one quarter at a time.
I'm fine with being a goon magnet. These stories were pretty mild compared to some things that have happened. I'm glad that I can put a smile on someone's face. And I think it's really funny that my daughter has the same gene. Just yesterday we were trying on shoes at a store and an older lady came up and talked to my daughter about the stiletto heels on display. She reminisced about back in the day and the heels she wore compared to the ones today. She left with a smile on her face and my daughter just looked at me and said "Don't even say it"
So spread a little goon magnet joy. Stop and help a stranger, smile more often. Some people may think you are nuts but most will smile back. Be friendly to everyone, you don't know what they have going on in their life and that one nice thing you do for them may make a big difference. Start spreading joy, even it's just one quarter at a time.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Snores & Chores
Last night while you were all snug in your beds sound asleep, I had quite the adventure. I was part of a movie in my bedroom. Now before all you dirty birdies start thinking bad things....it was more of a horror flick. It was basically a remake of Jurassic Park featuring myself who was forced to fight off the dinosaurs. All the dinosaurs were played by my husband. His big acting debut featured all of his greatest sound effects....snoring.
Let me just say that my husband isn't a big snorer normally. He will occasionally snore but I can usually jab him, he rolls over and it's done. But currently, the poor man has a cold (he's actually on antibiotics so I know he's not faking) so his snoring has been quite bad over the past few nights.
LAST.NIGHT.WAS.HORRID.
I slept for 7 minutes. The.entire.night. 7 minutes.
It was seriously like being in a room with dinosaurs. In fact, at one point, I yelled at him "I feel like I'm in Jurrasic Park." No amount of jabbing, poking, shoving helped. No position that he put his brontosaurus body into stopped the growling that erupted from his mouth.
As I laid there I kept thinking that I should just go to the couch. But then I remember that my back was already bothering me and a night on the couch would only make it worse. Not to mention the horrid gas my dog had that was sleeping right next to the couch. There was no solution in sight. As the minutes slowly ticked by, I started to get drowsy and instead of counting sheep, I started counting roars. But then with a grunt and a gurgle, he let out the monster of all snores (think T-Rex roar) and managed to wake both kids with his sound effects. Great. So much for dosing off!
It's now 4:00 AM and no sleep is coming. I'm totally frustrated and realize an extra pillow is laying between us. First I gently shove it closer it to him and nothing. So I pick it up and put it on his face. (Please note: I love my husband and would never do anything to hurt him. Can't imagine my life without him.) I just wanted to muffle the sound so I could fall asleep. So the pillow is on is face, he can still breathe, all is well in Jurassic Park. Sleep is so close. But then he starts to roll and oh so close...his Velociraptor arms started to thrash and the pillow went to the floor. And the roaring goes on.
It's hopeless. I wake him once again and tell him if he doesn't stop snoring I'm going to punch him in the face. He just laughs and goes back to snoring. He knows I would never do that and my luck, I'd knock out his front tooth and he'd get a gold one and then who's laughing? Not me.
It's now 6:20, I do doze off at some point until the alarm went off at 6:30. I very happily got to wake him up and then started my day. He came out to the kitchen and said "I couldn't help it, I have a swollen infected throat." And he thinks the kids get their dramatics from me. Whatev.
Lucky for him, the kids did chores yesterday. My son was dying to use my new steam mop and my daughter dusted so she could have a friend over. They also went back to school today and with no chores for me...looks like I'll be trying to get in my own snores this afternoon.
Let me just say that my husband isn't a big snorer normally. He will occasionally snore but I can usually jab him, he rolls over and it's done. But currently, the poor man has a cold (he's actually on antibiotics so I know he's not faking) so his snoring has been quite bad over the past few nights.
LAST.NIGHT.WAS.HORRID.
I slept for 7 minutes. The.entire.night. 7 minutes.
It was seriously like being in a room with dinosaurs. In fact, at one point, I yelled at him "I feel like I'm in Jurrasic Park." No amount of jabbing, poking, shoving helped. No position that he put his brontosaurus body into stopped the growling that erupted from his mouth.
As I laid there I kept thinking that I should just go to the couch. But then I remember that my back was already bothering me and a night on the couch would only make it worse. Not to mention the horrid gas my dog had that was sleeping right next to the couch. There was no solution in sight. As the minutes slowly ticked by, I started to get drowsy and instead of counting sheep, I started counting roars. But then with a grunt and a gurgle, he let out the monster of all snores (think T-Rex roar) and managed to wake both kids with his sound effects. Great. So much for dosing off!
It's now 4:00 AM and no sleep is coming. I'm totally frustrated and realize an extra pillow is laying between us. First I gently shove it closer it to him and nothing. So I pick it up and put it on his face. (Please note: I love my husband and would never do anything to hurt him. Can't imagine my life without him.) I just wanted to muffle the sound so I could fall asleep. So the pillow is on is face, he can still breathe, all is well in Jurassic Park. Sleep is so close. But then he starts to roll and oh so close...his Velociraptor arms started to thrash and the pillow went to the floor. And the roaring goes on.
It's hopeless. I wake him once again and tell him if he doesn't stop snoring I'm going to punch him in the face. He just laughs and goes back to snoring. He knows I would never do that and my luck, I'd knock out his front tooth and he'd get a gold one and then who's laughing? Not me.
It's now 6:20, I do doze off at some point until the alarm went off at 6:30. I very happily got to wake him up and then started my day. He came out to the kitchen and said "I couldn't help it, I have a swollen infected throat." And he thinks the kids get their dramatics from me. Whatev.
Lucky for him, the kids did chores yesterday. My son was dying to use my new steam mop and my daughter dusted so she could have a friend over. They also went back to school today and with no chores for me...looks like I'll be trying to get in my own snores this afternoon.
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