I.K.E.

We have this nickname at our house for the husband.  Actually, my father in law came up with it, so this trait has been going on for some time.  We like to call him Ike which is short for I Know Everything.  For those that know my husband, you are all shaking your head yes and thinking..hmmm, yeah, I get that.

Now my husband is an amazing man.  He's generous and kind and funny.  And he's always right.  I love seeing my son grow up and have all these wonderful characteristics coming through.  He is very much like his dad and he too, is always right.  Which means I am pretty much always wrong.  Even when I know I'm right, my son is so convinced that he's right, he can sometimes even convince me.

Yesterday we were playing outside and I was picking up the 547 piles of dog poop that had accumulated in our yard in 3 days.  I told my son to be careful where he was running so he wouldn't step in any.  I actually said this about 700 times because I knew he wasn't paying attention.  As I made my way around the yard, I came across a pile that had a footprint in it.  Apparently, someone wasn't listening.  I yelled over to my son and told him to check his shoes.  He said they were clean and proceeded to play.  About 20 minutes later we start to head inside and I notice poop on his shoe. 
I said, "I thought you didn't have any poop on your shoe?"
He said "I don't" and in his mind, he really doesn't.
I reminded him that I had told him to check his shoes and asked how he knew that he didn't have anything on them.  This is the story I was told...
"Well...basically I didn't even need to look at my shoe because I looked at the pile of poop and studied the footprint in it.  I knew that it wasn't from me because it had a different pattern than my shoe."

Me: "Um, you had to have stepped in that poop because it's on your shoe and no one else has been in the yard."

"Welllll, I know I didn't step in it because when I was running, I made sure that when I got close to some, I would take a few steps and then swerve over to the side and sometimes I just ran really fast and dove over it so yeah, I didn't step in any.  Plus that print has wavy lines and I know that the lines on the bottom of my shoe are straight. So yeah, it wasn't me."

Me: "Then how did it get on your shoe?"

"Mom, how am I supposed to know?  It's just there."

Because heaven forbid we just admit that mom is right about something!! 

So last night I was thinking about all this and my husband comes to bed.  I usually like to go to sleep first because he snores.  He has this amazing ability to fall asleep within seconds of laying down.  It's almost like a bedtime version of narcolepsy.  I'm actually kind of jealous.

So he gets into bed and gets comfy.  I know I'm pretty much screwed because he's going to be snoring soon and then I won't be able to fall asleep.  So I politely ask him to roll over before he falls asleep so he doesn't snore.  Of course, Ike can't just do that without saying something.  Here's what happened and I'm very happy to say that I was right!

"Darling husband, please roll over because if you don't now, I'm just going to have to wake you up in a minute when you are snoring and make you roll over."  (okay - maybe the darling is exagerating just a bit!)

"I don't snore"

Trying to prove my point, "Okay, it's 11:09 right now, I bet that by 11:12, I will be waking you up to roll over."

"Whatever, I don't snore."

11:10 - laughing from both of us....HE WOKE HIMSELF UP SNORING!

I asked him why he was laughing and I got a mumbled "Shut up".  Then he admitted that he woke himself up snoring less than a minute after we were talking!  He rolls over slightly.

11:12 - he gets shoved to roll all over again

It feels good to be right.  It doesn't happen to me very often around here so I have to cherish it when I can, even if it means losing a few minutes of sleep.