It's back to school time again and everyone is trying to get back on a schedule. I stay at home so it may be a little easier for me. In the summer we really don't have a schedule. Breakfast at 11:00 which also means it covers lunch and a late dinner, chores get done as needed and lots of housework slides because we are busy having fun. Now that school is in session, it's 8:15 AM and I've already done two loads of laundry, dusted, swept and vacuumed. I am much more productive on a schedule.
With the coming of a new school year, often comes changes. My kids are in the 4th and 8th grade this year so I'm used to the normal "stay at home mom" questions. I have a friend who's youngest just entered kindergarten and she stays at home. She asked how I handle the question of "so what do you do all day now that your kids are in school?" or worse "so are you getting a job now that all of your kids are in school?" Because being a mom isn't a real job right?
Sure these questions are innocently asked and people just assume that you will be going to work. But people, stop and think. Maybe you are just curious on how we spend our 8 hours of "alone" time but don't ask. If you told me what your career was, I wouldn't say "but really, what do you do for 8 hours".
I'm not bothered by these questions. I kinda laugh them off and jokingly say I'm just a lady of leisure. Really I don't feel like it's any one's business but that answer usually does the trick. Other times I do feel like I have to explain myself and justify why I stay home. I will say, "I stay at home BUT I do this, this and this..." And really, I'm not sure why I do that? I think as moms we just don't want to be judged.
Being a stay at home mom works for our family. I've been doing this gig for over 9 years now and it works for us. When my daughter was little, I paid an obscene amount of money for daycare to go to a job I hated. And if momma ain't happy, nobody's happy. That rang very true for us. When I got pregnant with my son, we knew changes had to be made. In one year, we went from two incomes down to one, we moved to a new town which doubled our mortgage, we (meaning me) learned the hard way about saving money and budgeting. We made sacrifices and it was worth it.
Being a stay at home means we live on less. Yes we are comfortable but it's because of the choices we make. We live in a small house with no basement. We drive used cars. I try and get bargains when possible and Dave Ramsay is part of our life. When our kids complain that they want bigger rooms or a basement, I tell them that we can have that but then I will need to get a job...9 times out of 10 they stop complaining. And eventually these kids are gonna move out and we won't need a bigger house then anyway.
So what do I do for 8 hours a day....anything I want! Most days fly by. Everything that you do on the evenings and on weekends, I do during the day. All the errands you have to run or have your husband run, I do during the day. Meal prep, cleaning, laundry, etc...all done. My husband never has to worry about "house" stuff. Chores are done, food is in the fridge and he always has clean clothes. He pretty much has it made. Also, I love helping people so if a friend needs something, they know they can call me.
All that being said, I have a pretty sweet deal too. He works hard so that we can have this arrangement. He provides for our family and continues to better himself so he can continue to provide for us. If I want to have a "lady of leisure" day or spend time with friends, that's fine too. This also works for us because I knew I would want to be involved with our kids' school. I spend a lot of time volunteering there as the PTC President. In fact, I've had students ask where my classroom is because they assume I'm a teacher. I want to be involved in the place where my kids spend 8 hours a day. I also do other volunteer work that is near and dear to us. I also decorate cakes. But again, I shouldn't have to list my "credentials" all the time. I really doubt anyone expects me to, it's something I feel like I need to do for some reason.
In all honesty, I don't know how working moms do it. I see so many of you doing everything I do PLUS working part time or full time. You are amazing!! I think the secret is finding out what works best for your family. Maybe it's staying home, maybe it's working part time, maybe it's having your husband be a stay at home dad?? Regardless of what that formula is, if it works for you, I won't ask any questions.
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