Thursday, August 28, 2014

Lube

That title got your attention didn't it?  Good, keep reading.

We recently went to an event that had these amazing bubbles and wands.  My son loved them.  They were selling the solution and supplies but I thought surely we could recreate it at home.  My son loves to experiment so I thought it would be right up his alley.

The next day we went and got supplies.  There were several different recipes on Pinterest but most contained similar ingredients.  We picked one and were ready to go.   We mixed up the solution, made homemade wands (drills and other tools were involved).  At one point I thought maybe we should have just shelled out the cash but my son was loving it so we continued.

After we waited the amount of time for the solution to "brew" we headed out and tested our bubbles. After a few adjustments, we had bubbles.  Big, glorious bubbles....that popped as soon as they came out of the wand.  We would get them nice and big but they weren't "unpoppable" like the ones at the event.  By this time, it was 90 degrees and 100% humidity so we were done anyway.  I've continued to research on how to make these bubbles better and I thought I had the perfect solution.  Personal lubricant.  What?  Yes, that's right, lube.  I should point out that I read about this secret ingredient, I didn't come up with it on my own.

Several of the recipes call for glycerin which is thick but pourable.  I was thinking that the bubbles needed to be thicker and kept seeing these posts talking about a secret ingredient.  After much searching and joining a website and then another email group, I found it!  The secret ingredient was personal lubricant purchased from the dollar store.

Today I set out to make all my son's bubble blowing dreams come true.  I headed to the local dollar store in search of personal lubricant.  I was a little embarrassed about buying 2 tubes of this but I'm a confident, married woman....so I buried it in my cart with all my other items and headed to the check out.  I know I've seen this item up by the checkout before and all I could find in the hygiene aisle was the "warm touch" stuff.  I'm sure the ingredients were the same but continued to look for the regular.  There wasn't anyone in line behind me, which I was very grateful for, so I piled everything on the belt but still felt like I should point out to the cashier that the lube wasn't for me personally.  So as she gets to them I say "I'm using those to make homemade bubbles, do you know if you have the regular stuff?"

It went downhill from there.

The nice cashier, LaKendra, could have just said no.  However, I'm guessing she wanted to provide superior customer satisfaction, so she asked her manager if they had any.  Her manager was 3 aisles away.  LaKendra did not leave her register.  She yelled.  Loudly. (Hence the all caps)

"DO YOU KNOW IF WE GOTS ANY PERSONAL LUBRICANT IN THE REGULAR?  THIS LADY DOESN'T WANT THIS WARMIN' STUFF."

I yell "I'M MAKING BUBBLES FOR MY SON!"  I can feel the heat in my face rising.

By this point there is now an elderly lady in line behind me.  She's about 70 and thinks this is hilarious.  I proceed to explain to her that the lube is FOR MY SON'S BUBBLES!!  She just giggles and says, "It's okay honey, you don't have to explain your purchases."

The manager is now up at the register explaining that no they don't have the regular kind, only the warming stuff and is waving the box around like it's a lit sparkler on the 4th of July.  I'm telling them that that is fine, I will get this stuff, let's all move on with life.  The lady behind me continues to giggle.

At this point, I'm starting to laugh too because I'm thinking that it's going to make a great blog post.  I turn to the lay behind me and say "This really is just to make bubbles."  She then tries to hand me the flyswatter she's buying and says, "Well honey, you should really spice things up and get this too."  I'm dying inside.  She's thinking we are 50 Shades of Grey and my face is now 50 Shades of Red.  I just laugh and say "no thanks, just getting bubble making supplies."

I manage to make it out of the store and tell LaKendra I will probably never be back.  And now I'm thinking I can't even let my son help make the stupid bubbles because he's gonna want to know what personal lubricant is and why the bubbles make him feel all warm and tingly when they pop on his skin!  After all this, the bubbles better be magnificent!  And all future personal lubricant purchases will be made on Amazon.


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