Love your selfie

If you are on any type of social media, you know how popular selfies are now.  You can't scroll through Facebook, twitter or Instagram without seeing girls showing off their "selfie face".  Teenage girls love a good selfie.  They take LOTS of them to get that "one" perfect shot before they post it to social media which then results in all their friends liking the pictures and saying how great they look. Selfies aren't just limited to teen girls though.  I'm almost 40 (eek!) and love a good selfie.  Couples, families, groups...selfies don't discriminate.  On a date night with your love but don't have anyone to snap the pic? Selfie!  At a fun spot or showing off your Starbucks with your besties? Snap a selfie!

Recently there was a video circulating on social media.  It was a Southern lady imitating a group of girls.  They were out shopping and taking selfies.  She basically made fun of the "youth of today" and their picture taking habits.  I know she was trying to be funny.  I know she has a right to her opinion.  But still.  It really bothered me.  Maybe because I have a daughter close to the same age as the ones she was talking about?  Or maybe because in a world where a teenage girl's self esteem is so precarious, why would you do that?  Yes, the girls were flashing their peace signs.  Yes, they were sticking their tongues out.  Yes, they were giggling and taking their own pictures.  So what?  If you've been on any social media, you'd know that today's "tongue sticking out, hand signals" is yesterday's duck face.  It's a trend.  It looks stupid but we looked pretty stupid in the 90's with our big hair and tight rolled jeans too.  Why take time out of your day to post a video (that went viral by the way) just to be mean and make fun of those girls?  I just don't get it.  If you are worried about the youth of today, shouldn't we be trying to build them up?

Being a teenage girl (or boy for that matter) is hard.  It's awkward and stressful and dramatic and messy.  You're self conscious and unsure and hormonal.  You feel the pressure of sports and academics and extracurriculars.  I know the teens of today have way more on their plates than we did "back in the day."  If these kids can take a selfie and feel good about themselves, then let them.  If it takes 100 shots and you get one great one and can share it, go for it.  If you've got a great group of friends like my daughter does and they all tell you how great the picture is and "like" it, then that's even better.  Who doesn't want to post a selfie and hear how great they look?  I know I would love it!

I know some of my favorite pictures have been selfies.  Our Christmas card theme last year was actually all selfies.  I have so many more pictures now of myself and my kids and even more with my husband because it's so quick to just snap a selfie.  I guess my whole point of this post is to not judge.  If you see someone doing their "selfie face" or snapping several selfies until they get the best one, maybe they just want to feel good about their self.  After all, we should all love our selfie.  :)

And just to lighten the mood, I thought I'd share our most recent epic selfie.  My daughter was gone and wanted to know when we were meeting her, so I snapped this selfie of my husband and myself.  Needless to say, it was more for laughs than anything but I love it.  It makes me smile every time I look at it.

 Love your selfie...even if it's a bit ridiculous.  

Things I didn't know until I had a teenage daughter...

My daughter will be 15 soon.  I'm not sure when that happened.  She was seriously just dressing up as Ariel and playing on her princess bed with her Bitty Baby named Baby Sue.  And now she will be 15 in less than 2 months.  She's my oldest and while I've tried to teach her many things as she's grown up, there are many things I've learned from her.  Now, while this could be a sentimental post about how she's helped me grow as a mom, shown me how strong I can be, taught me how to love unconditionally, etc.  I'm going to go a different direction.  Because yes, she has taught me all those things and made me a better person but there are things I didn't know I would learn from my teen daughter.  Things that I can't believe I've lived almost 39 years without knowing.  Things that I'm pretty sure if you don't have a teenage daughter, you may not know.  Or maybe you do and I'm just that out of touch and need to go more places than Meijer and IGA.  But just incase you were in the dark like me, let me teach you a few things I've learned.

1.  Primer.  And not the kind for your walls.  Ladies - they make primer for your face.  What?  How am I almost 39 and am just learning of this amazing face spackle.  Seriously, you know how you prime your walls before painting...prime your face ladies.  Your makeup will last so much longer and everything is just smoother.  Um do they make a body primer?  They do also make eye primer but I'm not that cool.  Yet.

2.  Good, quality hair appliances.  Yes, you need the Chi.  Stop spending $20 every few years on cheaper straighteners and blow dryers.  Buy the Chi.  There's a warranty.  It's worth it.  And don't expect your daughter to share hers.  Buy your own.

3.  Speaking of hair, you need multiple hair appliances.  No, that one curling iron is not enough.  You need many sizes and they all do different things.  It doesn't matter that your bathroom cabinet now looks like a Regis Salon.  Buy the curling iron, the curling wand, the straightener.  Get it all.

4.  Makeup brushes, sponges, blending buds, oh my!  You need them all.  I don't know what half of them are for but you need them.  Guess what ladies - different eye brushes do different things.  Whaaattt??  She just got a new one in her Ipsy bag and I was like "What the heck do you do with that thing" and she was all "um, it's a smudger".  Apparently your finger or a q-tip is NOT equal.  And don't mention this as a substitution.

5.  Netflix.  I feel like I don't really need to explain this one but if you aren't caught up on ALL SEASONS of Friends, Grey's Anatomy, The Fosters and One Tree Hill....well I can't even talk to you.  And don't you dare post any spoiler alerts...even if its a series from 1998.  What????  Monica and Chandler get married?  Yes, I spoiled that one for her.

6.  Leggings.  In the land of high school girls, they are pants.  Butts must be covered in our house.  Once I was convinced to try these on, I was sold.  Granted, I wear really long shirts with mine but they are AH-MAZING.  Again, how have I lived my life this long without leggings?  (In my day we called them stirrups!)  It's like your not even wearing pants but your legs are still warm.  I can do high kicks in mine.  Sorry for that mental image.

7.  Uggs.  No, Bear Paws or other knock offs are not the same.  (I still wear the cheap ones)  But after finally letting her get the real thing this year, they are worth the money.  Hopefully she's not reading this because I'm so gonna get the "I told you so" on this one.

8.  Chin hairs.  Didn't know I had them.  Now she rips them out.  Even if I'm driving and she spots one.  I guess I'm thankful.....  We all need a daughter for this...or a really good friend.

9.  Fashion rules.  Somedays she's harder than Joan Rivers on Fashion Police.  Other days I just get "the look".  You know the one...big eyes, raised eyebrows, tilt of the head and "are you really gonna wear that out in public" look.  Needless to say, most purchases are approved by her and typically she is right.

10.  Hip Lingo.  Words and phrases like "On point" "On Fleek" "Squad"....I can't keep track of them all.  And as soon as I do figure one out and try to be cool and use it, it's already expired and a new phrase is being used.  I can't keep up.  So I'll just stick with my favorite when she gets mad at me..."Bye Felicia"

11.  Texting abbreviations.  IKR, KWIM, BRB.  I'll just stick with LOL even though I'm not LOLing when I have to google an abbreviation to figure out what she's saying.

12.  FaceTime.  Why call your friend when you can FaceTime them?  It's like Jetson's up in here.  I can't even go in her room and yell at her in my bra because most likely someone is on the screen and will see me.  What is this world coming to?

13.  Selfies.  I love a good selfie.  However, I can't take one.  Yes, according to teenage girls, there is a wrong and a right way to take a selfie.  And let me tell you, if you have a teenager around you, let them teach you.  I'm a work in progress but you better believe if I'm taking a selfie and she walks in and I'm not doing it right, I will get retaught.  Several times.  It's all about angles, lighting, filters, photography apps, I'm not gonna lie, it's a lot of work.  But let me tell you, the selfies she takes of us together are my favorites.  Girls got mad selfie skillz.  (that's not cool lingo but I don't care.)

14.  Eyebrows.  Apparently mine are wrong.  I'm not sure why or how to fix them but they are wrong.  Girls now fill them in?  What?  No more waxing just shaping?  Apparently, I need to grow mine in and then darken them.  So many rules.

15.  YouTube.  This one I have not fully embraced.  Did you know you can watch videos of what girls buy when they go shopping.  It's called a haul.  So they go shopping and then show you everything they bought, how to put outfits together, where to shop, brands, etc.  Yes, these girls are now famous YouTubers for shopping.  Sign. Me. Up.  Is there one for grocery shopping?  Can I go to Aldi and then show you what I bought?  Can we make this happen?

Am I the only one this out of touch?  Do you have a teenager who is appalled at your lack of knowledge?  I can't believe I could be alone in this?  Hopefully at least a few of you have learned something with me.  Like I said, my daughter has taught me so much.  She made me a mom, she taught me to love unconditionally, she will be my lifelong friend, and I know I will continue to learn from her, whether it be silly things like this or lasting lessons...and through it all, my eyebrows will hopefully be on fleek.  

It's just a phase....

There are a lot of things that parents warn you about as soon as they find out you're pregnant.  Everyone is a wealth of information and advice, even if it's unwanted.  They warn you about not eating lunchmeat and fish when you're pregnant.  They tell you to make sure you're getting enough sleep now because once that precious little one comes along, you will be up all night.  (Like any preggo woman is gonna turn down a nap?)  Then when the baby does arrive, you get to hear about poop schedules, nursing vs. formula, teething advice and how their baby was sleeping through the night by 2 weeks.  It continues through the toddler years with different ages they should be walking by, how many words they should be speaking and a pluthera of other milestones.

As a young mom, I tried to soak it all in.  I tried to read all the books and would have my list of questions ready for the pediatrician.  We didn't have pinterest back then for ideas on how to keep toddlers busy for more than 3 seconds and I couldn't google different images to know if a rash was "normal".  We had our moms, aunts, and friends to ask questions and learn from and we did our best.  There are things I miss about those days when my kids were younger.  While I was in the moment of diapers, lost pacifiers, teething and not knowing why my baby was crying, it seemed like those days were so long.  The days were long but the years have gone so fast.  There were many, many days when I would tell myself "this is just a phase".  Like when my daughter threw up every day of kindergarten...it's just a phase.  Or when my son had this nervous tick where he'd clear his throat every 5 seconds...it was just a phase.  While those phases seemed intense at the time, they really were just a phase.

As my kids have gotten older, the phases have changed.  We've gone through phases of drama, heartache, sickness, and pure joy.  Now that they are older, looking back, I miss those "simpler" phases.  Because in those early days, everyone had answers for you.  Whether they were right or wrong, a phone call to a friend or family, usually provided a wealth of advice on how to "fix" the problem.  Whether they were helping you solve the problems of sleeping through the night or how to get rid of a diaper rash, there were always words of wisdom.  We now have a son in middle school and a daughter in high school and the words of wisdom are starting to run dry.  It's not that our friends and family don't have advice, I just feel like at this phase everyone child is different and each situation is more unique.  Solutions for babies with rashes are much easier to come by than how do I help my 5th grader remember to turn his homework in?

At this phase, mistakes in parenting can have a much bigger impact.  After all, my son isn't going to remember that I cut the end off his pacifier so he wouldn't want it only to run to Wal-mart at 10:30 PM to buy a new one.  However, he is going to remember me sitting at the kitchen table for hours on end and getting frustrating with him and his homework.  My daughter isn't going to remember me sneaking in her room at night to make sure she had her blankie and puppy incase she woke up, but she will remember how I handled the situation when she came home with a broken phone.  My kids are at the age where I could really screw them up...and that's a hard phase to make it through.

So parents reading this, know we are in this together, regardless of how old your kids are right now. And remind yourself, it's just a phase...and hopefully we all make it through to the next one!