The bigger you are...the faster you slide (final post about vacation)

Have you ever heard that saying "the bigger you are, the harder you fall"?  Well, we found out at Holiday World Splashin' Safari that it should be "the bigger you are, the faster you slide".  This was the day that my husband's life flashed before my eyes.  It was one of those moments that even though it probably lasted about 10 seconds, it seemed much longer, almost like it was in slow motion.

We were at Splashin' Safari and the kids and the hubby were enjoying all the fun (scary) water slides.  They did a few tamer ones and then headed to The Zynga.  The slide itself didn't look too scary but then you end up in this big cone and that part did not look fun.  Basically, you come flying out of the tube slide and go back and forth up the walls of the cone until you come out the bottom hole into a pool.  It's basically a cornucopia of death.

I decided to go stand on the wood observation deck and watch them come down.  I really wish that I had had my camera for these rides.  Not only to capture the pure joy on their faces, but also to capture the amazing air that my husband was able to achieve.  I'm sure the photos would have been either used in their next promotional ad or on a warning sign that says "This is not acceptable".

Regardless, they headed up the many flights of stairs to ride it.  I'm watching all the others go before them and I'm noticing that the rafts with just kids really don't go that fast and they don't go very high up the sides.  There were a few with adults that came down and they got going pretty quick.  My anxiety-filled brain starts working and I'm getting a little nervous because I know that with my husband in the raft, they are gonna come down quick.  Then a raft full of college aged guys come down and they are flying!  I'm thinking Oh hell no.  My babies are gonna fly out of that thing!

Have I mentioned that when my husband rides these rides he cackles like a 6 year old little girl?  I'm not sure where it comes from but it's this high pitched girly laugh.  The only time I hear him laugh like that is on carnival rides.  My daughter thinks it's appalling.  I don't even think he could do it if he wasn't on a ride.  

At any rate, I hear this high pitched cackling start to echo from the tube and I know it must be my group coming down.  I start to pray.  They are shot out of the tube and go flying up the side.  Now if you look at the picture above, most groups barely make it up to the blue rectangle on the left hand side.  They flew up almost to the top of the blue.  I thought they were going to topple over.  My husband is cackling and my son is holding on for dear life!  Luckily, they made it through to the pool and everyone survived.

Next up was the Jungle Racer.  I wasn't too worried about this one.  It's just a straight slide right?

Well my concern should have been here.  I thought this was going to be the end.  On this one, you grab a foam mat and go down head first on your belly.  Looks pretty simple.  No big deal.  The three of them grab their mats and head to the top.  I'm standing next to the life guard there on the strip of concrete watching, once again wishing I had my camera.  I see my three loves lining up their mats at the top.  Just about everyone that comes down is stopping about half way to the end so they have to get up and walk the rest of the way to get off.  

All three of mine get lined up to race down at the same time.  They take off at the same time but my husband is instantly way ahead of them.  He is cackling once again.  He hits the first dip and starts going even faster.  I start to worry.  Then he hits the second dip.  At this point, I can see air/space between him and the slide.  He hit it and flew up so high, his legs flew up behind him and I thought he was going to flip over.   Then I hear a "Uuuhhh" when he hits back down.  He hit hard, seriously, I'm thinking cracked ribs.  But then I heard it...the high pitched cackling and I knew he was okay.  He came flying down the rest of the slide and stopped at the lifeguards feet.  Yes, he slid all the way up to that pink line.  I thought he was going to be like a cartoon and just take the lifeguard out and end on the concrete.  He stands up (still cackling) and the lifeguard says "Wow, that even scared me!"  I really wanted a repeat so that I could capture it on camera but he didn't think his body (or my nerves) could take it.

After that, I made them take a break in the Lazy River.  This mama needed a break from worrying!  If I learned anything during vacation, the bigger you are the faster you slide....but also, the bigger you are the slower you float!