A day in the life of a goon magnet.........

I know I've posted about my goon magnet gene before but I don't think people realize the magnitude of this skill that I have.  Some may not see it is a skill, my husband being one of them.  But really, I think it's a skill.  I mean seriously, not everyone has this quality but maybe if they did, the world would be a better place.  I just think it goes to show that I have a friendly face and sunny disposition. 

So let me take you through a typical day when the goon magnet was in full force.  The funny thing is, at one point, my husband even said, sounds like a blog entry to me!  He's catching on.

Last week I went into town to run errands and meet my husband for lunch.  First stop was Sam's.  I had to get a new membership.  By the time I left, I knew the following facts - the lady helping me built a house in 1967 about a mile from where I currently live.  She lived there until last year and then moved.  Also, another lady felt the need to tell me about her arthritis and why she has to buy calcium chews at Sam's because they are 79 cents cheaper.  Her son brings her to Sam's once a month but this month he couldn't so she had to ask a neighbor.  (I almost volunteered for next month but bit my tongue.)

Next up I met my husband at Olive Garden.  Now if you have read past posts, you know I've had an "encounter" there before with a lady trying on a bra.  This wasn't nearly as bad.  I dropped my coat off at the table and proceeded to the bathroom.  While there, I met a woman that is from Ottawa (20 min. from my hometown)  We talked about all the snow they had and that's how she mentioned where she was from.  My husband just shook his head when I returned to the table and mentioned I met someone from Ottawa.  I'm thinking he should have been impressed but I guess not.

Then I went to Barnes & Noble and must have impressed a man with my backwards driving as I reversed into a parking spot.  We had a nice chat as we walked in about how his wife can't back in and once wrecked their car by hitting their garage.  Luckily, he was not there when I left and totally drove over the curb.  I don't think he would have been so impressed.

At that point I dropped off a bag of food to a homeless man I've been stalking.  It's hard to stalk someone who doesn't have a home.  He's always on the same corner so last time I saw him, I went and bought a bunch of stuff for him and then he was gone.  I haven't seen him since until that day.  Luckily I still had everything with me and finally got it delivered.

Then I headed to Aldi's.  There I met an old man that couldn't read his wife's grocery list.  I think it said peanut butter but may have said peanut brittle.  I suggested he just buy both and he laughed and agreed.   And just a tip - when you leave Aldi's I always leave the quarter in the cart for the next person.  Because really, doesn't it just make your day when you find the cart already paid for?  I know it makes mine so why not spread the joy one quarter at a time.

I'm fine with being a goon magnet.  These stories were pretty mild compared to some things that have happened.  I'm glad that I can put a smile on someone's face.  And I think it's really funny that my daughter has the same gene.  Just yesterday we were trying on shoes at a store and an older lady came up and talked to my daughter about the stiletto heels on display.  She reminisced about back in the day and the heels she wore compared to the ones today.  She left with a smile on her face and my daughter just looked at me and said "Don't even say it"

So spread a little goon magnet joy.  Stop and help a stranger, smile more often.  Some people may think you are nuts but most will smile back.  Be friendly to everyone, you don't know what they have going on in their life and that one nice thing you do for them may make a big difference.  Start spreading joy, even it's just one quarter at a time.

Snores & Chores

Last night while you were all snug in your beds sound asleep, I had quite the adventure.  I was part of a movie in my bedroom.  Now before all you dirty birdies start thinking bad things....it was more of a horror flick.  It was basically a remake of Jurassic Park featuring myself who was forced to fight off the dinosaurs.  All the dinosaurs were played by my husband.  His big acting debut featured all of his greatest sound effects....snoring.

Let me just say that my husband isn't a big snorer normally.  He will occasionally snore but I can usually jab him, he rolls over and it's done.  But currently, the poor man has a cold (he's actually on antibiotics so I know he's not faking) so his snoring has been quite bad over the past few nights.

LAST.NIGHT.WAS.HORRID.

I slept for 7 minutes. The.entire.night.  7 minutes.

It was seriously like being in a room with dinosaurs.  In fact, at one point, I yelled at him "I feel like I'm in Jurrasic Park."  No amount of jabbing, poking, shoving helped.  No position that he put his brontosaurus body into stopped the growling that erupted from his mouth. 

As I laid there I kept thinking that I should just go to the couch.  But then I remember that my back was already bothering me and a night on the couch would only make it worse.  Not to mention the horrid gas my dog had that was sleeping right next to the couch.  There was no solution in sight.  As the minutes slowly ticked by, I started to get drowsy and instead of counting sheep, I started counting roars.  But then with a grunt and a gurgle, he let out the monster of all snores (think T-Rex roar) and managed to wake both kids with his sound effects.  Great.  So much for dosing off!

It's now 4:00 AM and no sleep is coming.  I'm totally frustrated and realize an extra pillow is laying between us.  First I gently shove it closer it to him and nothing.  So I pick it up and put it on his face.  (Please note: I love my husband and would never do anything to hurt him.  Can't imagine my life without him.)  I just wanted to muffle the sound so I could fall asleep.  So the pillow is on is face, he can still breathe, all is well in Jurassic Park.  Sleep is so close.  But then he starts to roll and oh so close...his Velociraptor arms started to thrash and the pillow went to the floor.  And the roaring goes on. 

It's hopeless.  I wake him once again and tell him if he doesn't stop snoring I'm going to punch him in the face.  He just laughs and goes back to snoring.  He knows I would never do that and my luck, I'd knock out his front tooth and he'd get a gold one and then who's laughing?  Not me.

It's now 6:20, I do doze off at some point until the alarm went off at 6:30.  I very happily got to wake him up and then started my day.  He came out to the kitchen and said "I couldn't help it, I have a swollen infected throat."  And he thinks the kids get their dramatics from me.  Whatev.

Lucky for him, the kids did chores yesterday. My son was dying to use my new steam mop and my daughter dusted so she could have a friend over.  They also went back to school today and with no chores for me...looks like I'll be trying to get in my own snores this afternoon.