Because apparently taking your children to a college football game is abuse. Well, at least to my two kids. We never do anything that my husband wants to do. This is what he tells me anyway. I won't mention the 7 days we spent in Wisconsin this summer or the RV open house that I thoroughly enjoyed last summer. That's all beside the point. Last weekend we had the chance to get 4 tickets to a college football game. Knowing this would make my husband happy and being the fantabulous wife that I am, I bought them. I figured it would be cheaper to spend $30 for two tickets for the kids than paying a babysitter for all afternoon/evening.
That night at dinner we told the kids that we were going to do something super fun on Saturday afternoon. Maybe I built it up too much but they should know by now that I totally exaggerate. We told them that we would be going to the game and the complaints started. Why would we torture them so? Why did they have to go? My daughter had NOTHING to wear to the game! My son just said he wasn't going which I thought I could at least count on him for excitement. Guess not. I promised my daughter that I would get her a new shirt before the game. With the team being blue/orange, I had strict instructions to get nothing with orange because it was not flattering with her hair. I figured if I could pass that test, we may have a chance of having a good time.
Friday comes along and I'm off to the mall to get shirts for myself and the two kids. The mall even had a special - buy one, get two free. It was like sporting wear destiny. I remember the "rules" and only get a navy/white one for my daughter. That afternoon, she declares it's hideous and can't wear it to the game. She wanted something girly and glittery - not what I got. Now typically, I would just say tough BUT it was too small on her and my sons was too big so we head back to the mall. She finds the "perfect" shirt which is grey, hot pink and silver. Totally team spirit there.
Game day rolls around. I'm already $80 into this adventure from the tickets and new shirts so I'm determined this day is going to be great! We head to a quick soccer game and then home to quickly eat and go to the game. Hysteria breaks out as we are leaving because Dad informs daughter that she isn't wearing flip flops. Daddysaidwhat? That news did not go over well. Why wouldn't we let our extremely graceful daughter wear flip flops held together with a paper clip? We'd only be walking two miles to the stadium. (Dad's way too cheap to pay for parking.) Tears and drama and ten minutes later, we have shoes on.
We get there and walk (2 miles) with our emergency rain ponchos in our pockets because it may rain. We are ready for a good time. I'm walking by myself because my husband has pointed out some players parents and I ask who that is and he's completely appalled that I don't know and is now 17 paces ahead of me. Either that or it's because I have a rain poncho in each back pocket and it looks like I'm wearing an adult diaper.
We find our seats and the game starts. About 10 minutes into it my daughter asks when it's going to be kick-off. She's as sporty as her mama. Luckily, we are winning so the fireworks are making my son happy. 12 minutes into the game my son is so hungry he can't possibly survive another minute. He may pass out. Did I mention we ate lunch right before we left the house? I tell him that as soon as the kettle corn guy comes by, I'll get him some. He makes it his personal mission to flag this guy down. The jumbo tron camera keeps zooming the crowd and I can just see it now - my son waving like a maniac but at least people will think he's just cheering.
We make it until halftime with out too many issues. The grandma behind us gave the kids suckers, she must have been worried he was really gonna pass out. His was gone in 2.7 seconds while my daughter had to scope out the grandma and witness her own grandkids eating them to make sure they weren't poison before she ate her's. Maybe she was making sure her brother didn't pass out from it first?
Halftime leads to a walk, snacks and drinks. Can I just say that next time, I'm smuggling in food instead of ponchos. We come back to our seats to see it had rained a few drops. My son is so disappointed he didn't get to put on his poncho. One drop hits his arm and he declares that he's soaked and wants to get the poncho on. The man in front of us thinks this is hilarious. I don't because I know we'll never be able to fold it up again and there is no way my husband is throwing away a poncho that cost 99 cents if it didn't even get used a sufficient amount of time.
More complaining, a few touchdowns, snacks eaten and we are finally to the last quarter. There was a time in there that it was tied and I started to panic that it was going to go into overtime. I've showed the kids the giant clock so they can't ask me "how much longer?" anymore. They don't understand why the blessed clock keeps stopping though and their dad has already explained 1st down to all of us at least 3 times and isn't about to explain anything else. I was thinking we'd be home around 5:00 and it's already 7:15 so obviously I'm clueless! We are just about home free with only 6 minutes left and then it takes a turn for the worse.
My daughter had gotten a new slap bracelet the day before at the book fair. It was the last day of the book fair and it was the last zebra striped bracelet and it was her last $2 - so basically it was fate that she was wearing it. She had continuously slapped it on her wrist throughout the game with me saying "please stop doing that" but apparently I don't know anything. She was in the process of slapping it on again and I gave her "the look" and she did it "just one more time" to be a brat and oops....God don't like ugly...and it went bouncing down the bleachers. It's rubber so it bounced quickly out of sight. Of course not as quickly as the drama unfolded. The bleachers are packed so we can't really see where it went. We ask the people in front of us that have had to listen to the complaining the entire time. They quickly look because they don't want it to get worse. Nope, it can't be found. I assure her that we will look after the game. As she watches the giant timer get closer to zero she's panicking because she knows with everyone moving, it's going to get kicked even further out of reach. How will she finish 5th grade without this zebra bracelet that's she's only had for one day and only gotten to slap 778 times? Luckily, as people start to leave, she has the chance to go down a few aisles and someone in front of us actually sees it and gets it for her. We thank him profusely for saving us a huge amount of drama and start the long journey back to the car with the bracelet firmly in place. (no more slapping, just wearing, because mom is always right.)
All in all, it was a nice day. The weather was beautiful. I think we ended up spending way more and didn't save any money by not getting a babysitter but we have our memories, right? My son's dreams were crushed that he didn't get on the big screen but he got kettle corn so that made up for it. And most importantly, we got to do something that my husband enjoyed.
He actually just asked what I was blogging about and I said the game. His reply was "Are you telling them how awesome it was?" Apparently we were at two different games.
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Real Housewives of......
I don't watch much reality TV. It took me a long time to get over the break up of Nick and Jessica. Plus, I have enough drama in my life, I don't need to watch someone elses unfold. The other day I was flipping through the channels and watched a few minutes of The Real Housewives of someplace or other. I don't even know which one it was. Now, if you watch this show, maybe I need to give it more of a chance. I'm sure it's entertaining in it's own right but I just didn't get it. First of all, they are mega rich and super spoiled. Most of them just shop all day or plan elaborate dinner parties. They have a ton of plastic surgery, extensions, tons of jewelry, well you get the picture.
So I was thinking that maybe they need to make a REAL reality show of what a house wife really looks like. And another thing while I'm on my soapbox - no one calls us "house wife" anymore. It's stay at home mom now. Anyway - it could be a reality show called "The Real Stay at Home Moms of ....."
Episode #1 - Grocery shopping without showering. I mean really, who gets all fancy to get groceries? Not this mom. Getting $250 worth of groceries in the cart, out of the cart onto the belt, back into the cart and then unloaded at home. I'm not wasting one of my few "good shirts" on that. Sorry. If you see me at Wal-Mart, please excuse my appearance.
Episode #2 - Date night. Trying to figure out if you should see a movie or go to dinner. Seriously - if you don't have family close by to pawn your children off on, date night is expensive. A good babysitter is hard to find so you have to pay her well so she'll come back thus leaving you with the decision between dinner or a movie. You really want to see the latest blockbuster with your hubbie but wouldn't a dinner without cutting someone else's food be nice too? It's a tough one.
Episode #3 - Girls Night out - On these TV shows, it has moms going to these exclusive clubs with velvet ropes and partying it up in little black dresses and tons of bling. Now while that sounds fun, it just doesn't happen. A moms night out here is dinner and a movie. (because you can do both since the husband is home with the kids) Occasionally you will go out to a bar and hear a band but it's not like on TV. You aren't seeing celebrities and if you are, you're trying to get them to autograph something so you can auction it off at the next PTA school carnival.
Episode #4 - Playdates - whether it's meeting at the park, going on an outing, whatever. Someone's kid is always bratty. You just hope and pray that it's not yours. I'm the type of mom that has no problem yelling at my kids or correcting them if they are being brats. But you always have the mom that does nothing. That makes it really fun and this would be a great episode because when said mom leaves, all the other moms talk about her lack of discipline and bratty kid. Just keeping it real folks.
Episode #5 - Play dates with the entire family. It's really hard to find families to do stuff with. You and the other mom may click but not the kids or husband. The husbands may click but not the kids. Seriously, it's harder than finding a good gynecologist. My husband just loves when I set him up on play dates. We've had a few scary ones in the past. (mostly his fault for picking weirdos) If you can find a good match, stick with them. Stalk them if necessary.
Episode #6 - Traveling - ugh - I've blogged about this before. If there could be a camera mounted in our van, I'm sure there would be some great footage from fighting over movies, to mom getting carsick, to dad threatening to pull over. We don't have limos although the partition window would be nice while traveling. We don't have chaufers but if we did, he'd be driving my kids in a separate car.
Episode #7 - Elaborate dinner parties - um, no one does this. I LOVE to plan a party but I don't know anyone who throws an elaborate dinner party . First - what do you do with your kids while you have your party? Nobody wants to clean and cook and entertain. In reality - we are more of a cook out kind of crowd. I'd love to have a dinner party with a fancy table scape but if I invite my friends over for it, they are coming in jeans, not formal wear. (and my husband would be in jeans too)
Episode #8 - Laundry/cleaning day - my favorite day - not. We don't have maids or cleaning ladies. I would love a cleaning lady but that means I'd have to leave the house for a few hours while she comes to clean. I love a clean house, it's just getting it done that's a hang up for me. I'm sure the footage of me only vacuuming as far as the cord will reach in the hallway outlet would be funny. Luckily I have a small ranch home. Another great piece of footage would be me breaking the wash machine because I shoved too much in it. (true store, happened today) Fortunately my husband is a pro at hooking the tub back into place, it makes him feel needed. Or when the dishwasher floods the kitchen, you use dirty towels to mop up the water because clean ones would mean more laundry. Okay - so I'm a little jealous of them having cleaning ladies.
Episode #9 - Plastic surgery. Most real moms I know, just don't do it. First - who could afford it? Second - who wants to drive their kids to school wrapped up like a mummy because we had "work" done. Now I would love me some liposuction but who is going to take care of my kids while I recover. "Sorry kiddos - mommy can't bend over to tie your shoes because I just had all my fat sucked out." I'm sure that would be a nice story my son would repeat to everyone he met.
Episode #10 - Meal planning - I didn't really even see any of the Housewives eat (other than the dinner party). I'm assuming they probably don't cook? The probably don't have to plan meals around the 3 food that their kids eat I'm guessing?? I'm pretty adamant that we all sit down for dinner and share our day but my kids are picky. It's my own fault. I should just make them eat it. But really, sometimes it's just easier to slap together a PB&J and save the arguments. I'm sure footage of our dinners would be "real". My daughter complaining that she doesn't like what we are having even though she ate it the week before. She knows if she doesn't get something else instead, she'll have starved to death by morning. There is no way she can make it until breakfast. Then there would be my son, crying because his chicken isn't clean (meaning no grill marks). And heaven forbid he not have a clean utensil for EVERY item on his plate. No way can he use the same spoon for applesauce and potatoes. Are you kidding me!?
So while my life as a real stay at home mom probably isn't as glamorous as the TV shows, I wouldn't change it for anything. Granted, I'd like to add the limo and cleaning services but I'd still keep it real!
So I was thinking that maybe they need to make a REAL reality show of what a house wife really looks like. And another thing while I'm on my soapbox - no one calls us "house wife" anymore. It's stay at home mom now. Anyway - it could be a reality show called "The Real Stay at Home Moms of ....."
Episode #1 - Grocery shopping without showering. I mean really, who gets all fancy to get groceries? Not this mom. Getting $250 worth of groceries in the cart, out of the cart onto the belt, back into the cart and then unloaded at home. I'm not wasting one of my few "good shirts" on that. Sorry. If you see me at Wal-Mart, please excuse my appearance.
Episode #2 - Date night. Trying to figure out if you should see a movie or go to dinner. Seriously - if you don't have family close by to pawn your children off on, date night is expensive. A good babysitter is hard to find so you have to pay her well so she'll come back thus leaving you with the decision between dinner or a movie. You really want to see the latest blockbuster with your hubbie but wouldn't a dinner without cutting someone else's food be nice too? It's a tough one.
Episode #3 - Girls Night out - On these TV shows, it has moms going to these exclusive clubs with velvet ropes and partying it up in little black dresses and tons of bling. Now while that sounds fun, it just doesn't happen. A moms night out here is dinner and a movie. (because you can do both since the husband is home with the kids) Occasionally you will go out to a bar and hear a band but it's not like on TV. You aren't seeing celebrities and if you are, you're trying to get them to autograph something so you can auction it off at the next PTA school carnival.
Episode #4 - Playdates - whether it's meeting at the park, going on an outing, whatever. Someone's kid is always bratty. You just hope and pray that it's not yours. I'm the type of mom that has no problem yelling at my kids or correcting them if they are being brats. But you always have the mom that does nothing. That makes it really fun and this would be a great episode because when said mom leaves, all the other moms talk about her lack of discipline and bratty kid. Just keeping it real folks.
Episode #5 - Play dates with the entire family. It's really hard to find families to do stuff with. You and the other mom may click but not the kids or husband. The husbands may click but not the kids. Seriously, it's harder than finding a good gynecologist. My husband just loves when I set him up on play dates. We've had a few scary ones in the past. (mostly his fault for picking weirdos) If you can find a good match, stick with them. Stalk them if necessary.
Episode #6 - Traveling - ugh - I've blogged about this before. If there could be a camera mounted in our van, I'm sure there would be some great footage from fighting over movies, to mom getting carsick, to dad threatening to pull over. We don't have limos although the partition window would be nice while traveling. We don't have chaufers but if we did, he'd be driving my kids in a separate car.
Episode #7 - Elaborate dinner parties - um, no one does this. I LOVE to plan a party but I don't know anyone who throws an elaborate dinner party . First - what do you do with your kids while you have your party? Nobody wants to clean and cook and entertain. In reality - we are more of a cook out kind of crowd. I'd love to have a dinner party with a fancy table scape but if I invite my friends over for it, they are coming in jeans, not formal wear. (and my husband would be in jeans too)
Episode #8 - Laundry/cleaning day - my favorite day - not. We don't have maids or cleaning ladies. I would love a cleaning lady but that means I'd have to leave the house for a few hours while she comes to clean. I love a clean house, it's just getting it done that's a hang up for me. I'm sure the footage of me only vacuuming as far as the cord will reach in the hallway outlet would be funny. Luckily I have a small ranch home. Another great piece of footage would be me breaking the wash machine because I shoved too much in it. (true store, happened today) Fortunately my husband is a pro at hooking the tub back into place, it makes him feel needed. Or when the dishwasher floods the kitchen, you use dirty towels to mop up the water because clean ones would mean more laundry. Okay - so I'm a little jealous of them having cleaning ladies.
Episode #9 - Plastic surgery. Most real moms I know, just don't do it. First - who could afford it? Second - who wants to drive their kids to school wrapped up like a mummy because we had "work" done. Now I would love me some liposuction but who is going to take care of my kids while I recover. "Sorry kiddos - mommy can't bend over to tie your shoes because I just had all my fat sucked out." I'm sure that would be a nice story my son would repeat to everyone he met.
Episode #10 - Meal planning - I didn't really even see any of the Housewives eat (other than the dinner party). I'm assuming they probably don't cook? The probably don't have to plan meals around the 3 food that their kids eat I'm guessing?? I'm pretty adamant that we all sit down for dinner and share our day but my kids are picky. It's my own fault. I should just make them eat it. But really, sometimes it's just easier to slap together a PB&J and save the arguments. I'm sure footage of our dinners would be "real". My daughter complaining that she doesn't like what we are having even though she ate it the week before. She knows if she doesn't get something else instead, she'll have starved to death by morning. There is no way she can make it until breakfast. Then there would be my son, crying because his chicken isn't clean (meaning no grill marks). And heaven forbid he not have a clean utensil for EVERY item on his plate. No way can he use the same spoon for applesauce and potatoes. Are you kidding me!?
So while my life as a real stay at home mom probably isn't as glamorous as the TV shows, I wouldn't change it for anything. Granted, I'd like to add the limo and cleaning services but I'd still keep it real!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Breastfeeding 101
This past weekend, we were able to introduce my son to his new cousin. My brother and his wife recently had the most beautiful baby girl. Now my daughter was 4 when her brother was born so she remembers most of the baby "stuff" so she didn't ask any questions. However, for my 6 yr. old son, this is the first baby that he can remember coming into the family. He was full of questions ranging from how does the baby breath to how does it come out? Luckily, most of the were answered pretty vaguely and we changed the subject.
While we were visiting, my sister in law had to feed the baby. Since she is breastfeeding, she went into the baby's room and closed the door for a little privacy. My son was a little mad he wasn't invited in but then again he was also mad that we wouldn't let him carry a 6 lb. 2 week old baby around the house so I just blew it off.
A few days later he asked why he wasn't allowed to give the baby her bottle. I explained that she didn't take a bottle because his aunt was breastfeeding. (Thinking back I should have just said "Because it wasn't your turn" but no, I had to go and be honest.) Of course, breastfeeding is a new word that needed explanation. He immediately began firing questions at me.
What is breastfeeding? Well son, when a mom has a baby, God puts milk into her boobs for the baby.
Why? Well that's how God made mommies.
Can Dad's have milk in their boobs? No, because they can't have babies.
How does the milk come out? Well, the baby has to suck on the mommy just like a bottle and the milk comes out.
WHAT? ARE YOU JOKING ME MOM? No son, it's not a big deal.
Did I do that when I was a baby? Yes, but only for a few weeks.
WHAT? (he's now gagging over the garbage can) THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THAT? Because it's really healthy for babies.
MOM - SERIOUSLY THAT IS SO SO GROSS (still gagging).
By this point, I'm pretty sure I've scarred him for life but I'm still cracking up. I change the subject and tell him to go play.
About an hour later he comes in the kitchen.
Mom - that milk that's in her boobs??? Can anyone take a drink of that???
UMMM - NO. Do not ask your aunt for a drink of breast milk. That is just special for the baby.
While we were visiting, my sister in law had to feed the baby. Since she is breastfeeding, she went into the baby's room and closed the door for a little privacy. My son was a little mad he wasn't invited in but then again he was also mad that we wouldn't let him carry a 6 lb. 2 week old baby around the house so I just blew it off.
A few days later he asked why he wasn't allowed to give the baby her bottle. I explained that she didn't take a bottle because his aunt was breastfeeding. (Thinking back I should have just said "Because it wasn't your turn" but no, I had to go and be honest.) Of course, breastfeeding is a new word that needed explanation. He immediately began firing questions at me.
What is breastfeeding? Well son, when a mom has a baby, God puts milk into her boobs for the baby.
Why? Well that's how God made mommies.
Can Dad's have milk in their boobs? No, because they can't have babies.
How does the milk come out? Well, the baby has to suck on the mommy just like a bottle and the milk comes out.
WHAT? ARE YOU JOKING ME MOM? No son, it's not a big deal.
Did I do that when I was a baby? Yes, but only for a few weeks.
WHAT? (he's now gagging over the garbage can) THAT IS SO DISGUSTING! WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO THAT? Because it's really healthy for babies.
MOM - SERIOUSLY THAT IS SO SO GROSS (still gagging).
By this point, I'm pretty sure I've scarred him for life but I'm still cracking up. I change the subject and tell him to go play.
About an hour later he comes in the kitchen.
Mom - that milk that's in her boobs??? Can anyone take a drink of that???
UMMM - NO. Do not ask your aunt for a drink of breast milk. That is just special for the baby.
Monday, September 5, 2011
The missing ball...
Warning - if you are easily offended or of a younger age, don't read this....
One day my kids are gonna read this and are probably going to be quite mad that I shared all this information with the world (mostly my son). As a stay at home mom, I feel that it's one of my duties to entertain you all though so he'll just have to deal. Plus, at some point, this stuff gets kinda bizarre and just in case it's also going on in your house, I want you to know it's completely normal. We may look like a "normal" family on the outside but we are just as messed up as everyone else. On a bad day, we are a mix of "Kate plus 8" minus most of the psycho and 6 of the kids. On a good day, we're just your ordinary family with a side of crazy.
My son came home the other day complaining that his "bad spot" hurt. His bad spot is his private area. He calls it that because one day he got hit there and said "it hurt so bad" thus naming it the bad spot. He complained a little after school and then had soccer which made it worse. My kids are hypochondriacs (not sure where they get it) so I didn't think much of it. One minute he was running around, the next he was crying that his bad spot hurt. So like a good mom, I had him get it out so I could examine it. I really didn't know what I was looking for so I called Dad into the examing room (aka - kitchen). He declared everything was fine. I gave him some tylenol and sent him to bed.
I just chalked it up to a sore muscle and didn't think much about it. About 20 minutes after I tucked my son in, he comes back out to the living room. This is how it went down from there....
"Mom, I know why my bad spot hurts."
"Why honey?"
"Welllllll, usually there are two balls in it and I can only find one. Sooooo, I must have lost one of those balls!"
What does a mother say to this other than go wash your hands because obviously they've been in your pants! I assured him that no, he did not lose a ball and sent him back to bed. Of course, we were cracking up!
The next day I'm on the phone talking to a friend who has 2 sons and tell her the story. She points out that it could possibly be a hernia! What? My mind starts racing....he's going to have to have surgery, he's never been put under, he'll miss school and it already took him 46 minutes to learn 3 spelling words, how is he going to catch up, he will miss soccer season, etc. Yes, that is how my mind works. As soon as my husband comes home I ask him if it's a hernia and he just laughs. Apparently, I have no idea what I'm talking about and the boy is fine. Phew - I already had a pediatric urologist on speed dial.
Come to find out, all I needed to do was ask my son because the missing ball had returned that morning.
One day my kids are gonna read this and are probably going to be quite mad that I shared all this information with the world (mostly my son). As a stay at home mom, I feel that it's one of my duties to entertain you all though so he'll just have to deal. Plus, at some point, this stuff gets kinda bizarre and just in case it's also going on in your house, I want you to know it's completely normal. We may look like a "normal" family on the outside but we are just as messed up as everyone else. On a bad day, we are a mix of "Kate plus 8" minus most of the psycho and 6 of the kids. On a good day, we're just your ordinary family with a side of crazy.
My son came home the other day complaining that his "bad spot" hurt. His bad spot is his private area. He calls it that because one day he got hit there and said "it hurt so bad" thus naming it the bad spot. He complained a little after school and then had soccer which made it worse. My kids are hypochondriacs (not sure where they get it) so I didn't think much of it. One minute he was running around, the next he was crying that his bad spot hurt. So like a good mom, I had him get it out so I could examine it. I really didn't know what I was looking for so I called Dad into the examing room (aka - kitchen). He declared everything was fine. I gave him some tylenol and sent him to bed.
I just chalked it up to a sore muscle and didn't think much about it. About 20 minutes after I tucked my son in, he comes back out to the living room. This is how it went down from there....
"Mom, I know why my bad spot hurts."
"Why honey?"
"Welllllll, usually there are two balls in it and I can only find one. Sooooo, I must have lost one of those balls!"
What does a mother say to this other than go wash your hands because obviously they've been in your pants! I assured him that no, he did not lose a ball and sent him back to bed. Of course, we were cracking up!
The next day I'm on the phone talking to a friend who has 2 sons and tell her the story. She points out that it could possibly be a hernia! What? My mind starts racing....he's going to have to have surgery, he's never been put under, he'll miss school and it already took him 46 minutes to learn 3 spelling words, how is he going to catch up, he will miss soccer season, etc. Yes, that is how my mind works. As soon as my husband comes home I ask him if it's a hernia and he just laughs. Apparently, I have no idea what I'm talking about and the boy is fine. Phew - I already had a pediatric urologist on speed dial.
Come to find out, all I needed to do was ask my son because the missing ball had returned that morning.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Are we there yet?
This past weekend we traveled about 6 hours north to a family wedding. For the most part, my kids are pretty good travelers. How good do kids have it these days? Seriously - reclining, bucket seats, their DS, movies, Ipods?? So much better than when I was a kid. We basically had a book and for me, that wasn't an option because I got car sick. Car trips for me meant either sleeping or staring straight ahead. Fun times, especially with an older sister who would trick you into looking out the binoculars thus making you vomit, and a younger brother using your leg as part of the wrestling ring for the duffel bag of wrestlers that is sharing the seat with you. Anyway, my kids have it made....there is a point to all of this.
So we got the kids out of school right after lunch. My thinking is that they would be fed and tired from recess. For the most part, they were great. However, it did take them a while to get in their "zone".
The van is loaded up...we have luggage, snacks, activities, pillows, etc. Everything needed for a successful day of travel. It's 12:22. The GPS is ready - arrival time says 5:58 PM.
The boy decides to sit in the back row away from his sister. He turns on the movie Rio and is good to go. My daughter is in the middle row and decides to do her homework. Ahhhhhhh, I have such wonderful children. And then it starts....
"MOM - HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO GET THERE?" comes a scream from the back row. He has his headphones on so of course, he's talking loud enough that every car within 7 miles can hear him.
"QUIT SCREAMING - WE CAN HEAR YOU FINE" from the daugher...."I'M TRYING TO DO MY HOMEWORK"
"WHAT?"
"I SAID QUIT SCREAMING"
"WHAT?"
"I SAID QUIT SCREAMING:
"WHAT?"
This goes on for about 10 more rounds before he finally removes the headphones. By this point, my daughter has freaked out because she needs complete silence to do her homework. She can't get comfortable. She's yelling at her brother who doesn't even know what he did wrong. I'm trying to yell over her to tell him to stop yelling. It's 12:27 and we've traveled 2.3 miles. I'm thinking their allergies seem bad and they may need Benadryl. Don't judge people.
Everyone gets calmed down and back to quiet for about 10 min. And then from the back row...
"MOM -HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO GET THERE?"
And here we go again. But I realize with all the yelling, his question didn't get asked earlier.
"SERIOUSLY - CAN YOU JUST TALK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING?" is shouted from the middle row.
At this point, it's going to be a long trip until Dad pipes up and tells them to all be quiet and calm down. I'm wondering why he didn't do this 7 miles ago because when Dad talks, everyone listens. (even me sometimes!) I just turn and look at him and say "You know, this is a blog entry waiting to happen!"
So we are about 20 minutes into the trip. Everyone is finally settled into their zone and it's going well. This actually continues for a long time. I'm texting my sister in law and am totally jealous that she's in another car 2 hours ahead of us with total silence but really, things are going okay. I have my memory foam pillow, I'm just drifting off into a little nap and from the back row,
"MOM - I'M THIRSTY AND HUNGRY"
By this point we are over half way there. Trying to be healthier and save some money, I packed a picnic. My plan was to stop and eat and let the kids run around at a playground. So we stop and get the cooler out. My son says "Mom, you know I can't eat outside. There are flies outside and if a fly lands on your food, it will poop on it and I'm not eating fly poop." So much for my planning. He did eat about 3 bites and then took off to play.
Back on the road, the GPS now say arrival time of 6:38. Every time that number pushes back, I cry a little inside.
The boy is now watching Rio for the 3rd time. He ended up watching it for about 12 hours that weekend. He wasn't complaining so I wasn't about to rock the boat.
10 miles down the road -
"MOM - I'M HUNGRY BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY LUNCH. CAN I HAVE A SNACK"
Seriously, you can see where the rest of this is going....
We had a few other bumps in the road. My husband had the air on so cold that my face almost froze. The plus side was when I got out of the car, it was frozen almost like I had Botox. Unfortunately, it thawed. For the most part, it went fine though. I only had to yell a few times, the husband only had to yell once. All in all, it was a great trip.
My friends and family tease that I'm so organized and such a "Martha Stewart" (minus the prison time). I really do try and plan and be organized but it usually just falls apart in front of me. I actually shocked (or maybe impressed) some friends a few weekends ago by yelling at my kids. I guess I didn't realize that they had never heard me do that since it's such a common occurence around here. Trust me, you'd see a whole lot of yelling if you were a fly on the wall....just don't land on my son's food.
So we got the kids out of school right after lunch. My thinking is that they would be fed and tired from recess. For the most part, they were great. However, it did take them a while to get in their "zone".
The van is loaded up...we have luggage, snacks, activities, pillows, etc. Everything needed for a successful day of travel. It's 12:22. The GPS is ready - arrival time says 5:58 PM.
The boy decides to sit in the back row away from his sister. He turns on the movie Rio and is good to go. My daughter is in the middle row and decides to do her homework. Ahhhhhhh, I have such wonderful children. And then it starts....
"MOM - HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO GET THERE?" comes a scream from the back row. He has his headphones on so of course, he's talking loud enough that every car within 7 miles can hear him.
"QUIT SCREAMING - WE CAN HEAR YOU FINE" from the daugher...."I'M TRYING TO DO MY HOMEWORK"
"WHAT?"
"I SAID QUIT SCREAMING"
"WHAT?"
"I SAID QUIT SCREAMING:
"WHAT?"
This goes on for about 10 more rounds before he finally removes the headphones. By this point, my daughter has freaked out because she needs complete silence to do her homework. She can't get comfortable. She's yelling at her brother who doesn't even know what he did wrong. I'm trying to yell over her to tell him to stop yelling. It's 12:27 and we've traveled 2.3 miles. I'm thinking their allergies seem bad and they may need Benadryl. Don't judge people.
Everyone gets calmed down and back to quiet for about 10 min. And then from the back row...
"MOM -HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO GET THERE?"
And here we go again. But I realize with all the yelling, his question didn't get asked earlier.
"SERIOUSLY - CAN YOU JUST TALK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING?" is shouted from the middle row.
At this point, it's going to be a long trip until Dad pipes up and tells them to all be quiet and calm down. I'm wondering why he didn't do this 7 miles ago because when Dad talks, everyone listens. (even me sometimes!) I just turn and look at him and say "You know, this is a blog entry waiting to happen!"
So we are about 20 minutes into the trip. Everyone is finally settled into their zone and it's going well. This actually continues for a long time. I'm texting my sister in law and am totally jealous that she's in another car 2 hours ahead of us with total silence but really, things are going okay. I have my memory foam pillow, I'm just drifting off into a little nap and from the back row,
"MOM - I'M THIRSTY AND HUNGRY"
By this point we are over half way there. Trying to be healthier and save some money, I packed a picnic. My plan was to stop and eat and let the kids run around at a playground. So we stop and get the cooler out. My son says "Mom, you know I can't eat outside. There are flies outside and if a fly lands on your food, it will poop on it and I'm not eating fly poop." So much for my planning. He did eat about 3 bites and then took off to play.
Back on the road, the GPS now say arrival time of 6:38. Every time that number pushes back, I cry a little inside.
The boy is now watching Rio for the 3rd time. He ended up watching it for about 12 hours that weekend. He wasn't complaining so I wasn't about to rock the boat.
10 miles down the road -
"MOM - I'M HUNGRY BECAUSE YOU DIDN'T GIVE ME ANY LUNCH. CAN I HAVE A SNACK"
Seriously, you can see where the rest of this is going....
We had a few other bumps in the road. My husband had the air on so cold that my face almost froze. The plus side was when I got out of the car, it was frozen almost like I had Botox. Unfortunately, it thawed. For the most part, it went fine though. I only had to yell a few times, the husband only had to yell once. All in all, it was a great trip.
My friends and family tease that I'm so organized and such a "Martha Stewart" (minus the prison time). I really do try and plan and be organized but it usually just falls apart in front of me. I actually shocked (or maybe impressed) some friends a few weekends ago by yelling at my kids. I guess I didn't realize that they had never heard me do that since it's such a common occurence around here. Trust me, you'd see a whole lot of yelling if you were a fly on the wall....just don't land on my son's food.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)