The holidays are upon us. Yesterday was Halloween, tomorrow is Thanksgiving. Okay, not really but it does seem like time is moving that quickly. There is so much to do, so many people to see, so many gifts to buy, so many cookies to eat, so much money to spend. The older these kids get, the more expensive the presents become!
With the holidays comes stress. Lots of it. We do it to ourselves. We have to find that one perfect gift or find that one perfect Christmas outfit for the Holiday program. We make things so much harder than it has to be. And by we - I really mean me. But I'm sure I'm not the only one.
When I picture Christmas, it's your typical Norman Rockwell calendar picture for the month of December. Cute little kids are hugging in front of fire with warm mugs of hot cocoa. The husband and wife are looking on with their arms around each other. They are probably kissing under a mistletoe and there is a beautiful dinner spread out behind them that their private chef cooked. I'm 50 lbs. thinner and have hair like Christina Applegate. My kids aren't fighting over the remote and my husband isn't complaining about the 5 Christmas trees I've set up. The maid is in the background just waiting to clean up after us. Oh and there is a new Cadillac DTS I can spot out the window (because I'm always thinking of my husband and his wants and needs.) My house is spotless and has a basement. Yes, in my dreams, I have a basement.
But as we all know, it's not like that at all. I think the build up to Christmas is just that...a build up...only to be let down. The real picture is something like this: the kids are fighting over who's turn it is to watch a show because apparently the 17 hours of TV they've already watched that day isn't enough, they are screaming at each other and I'm screaming over them. Dad walks in and talks to them nicely and takes the remote and they both run crying to their room because my screaming does nothing but Dad talking is LAW, the dog is licking herself in front of the fire/corn burner that doesn't even work, frozen pizza is on the counter and no one is cleaning up but me. The only thing I see out the window is dog poop and a junky van that has 150,000 miles on it and there is no mistle toe anywhere in sight because I'm sure that by bedtime I will have a headache. And I have no basement.
Thanksgiving is probably my favorite holiday because it's stress free. You make a meal, eat it, be thankful, watch football with a full belly and it's over. What's not to like about that? But Christmas....plans have to be made in October just to coordinate everyone's schedules, gift lists have to be made so there are no duplicates, money has to be saved to buy said gifts, menus need to be planned so there aren't 4 green bean casseroles and no desserts. Why do we do this to ourselves? Because it's expected. If we don't get all the gifts on the lists, how do we get our kids to behave the months of November and December? I've already used the Santa threat 617 times and it's only November 17th.
So this year I decided to have less stress. I've shopped mostly online. The kids aren't getting nearly as much. We've raised money and are "giving back" by adopting kids on the angel tree. I'm baking early and sticking it all in the freezer so it's ready. I'm doing some small projects here and there and so far, it's going well. I'm still debating how many trees to put up. We have a small house but I usually have 5 trees up. The husband does not like this. It's hard to be "scroogey" when Christmas has puked all over your house. I think all the twinkling lights distract from his stupid TV shows. I guess it's hard to watch things like "The Fall of Hitler" with Santa staring at you. Since I can't threaten him with Santa, he gets away with a little more than the kids.
This year since I am keeping it low stress, I'm even allowing my husband to be in control of my son's big gift. It's a project he has to build and I'm a nervous wreck over it. My husband is very handy and I know it will turn out great (and be ready by Dec. 23rd - hint, hint honey....that's your deadline). But I've never let him have this much control over a gift. The fact that I can't just go buy it and know that it's here and ready is really stressing me out. And the fact that he keeps showing me plans and I'm picturing something totally different than what he has drawn also stresses me out. He was asking me questions about it and I had no idea what he was talking about and he asked me if I had a stroke because I was being so stupid - not a good sign about the outcome of this project. I think we have it all worked out now but this part was supposed to lower my stress not make more. Deep breaths control freak. Deep breaths.
I know in the long run it will all be worth it. All the hours of shopping, wrapping, baking, it will all be worth it. Even though it will all be over on Christmas morning in about 11 minutes it will all be worth it. If I keep telling myself that, think it will come true? I think my chances of waking up with a basement are more likely.
Thursday, November 17, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
The glue that holds us all together
So much has happened since my last blog. Nothing of great world changing importance but entertaining none the less.
Let's start with Halloween and the 516 pieces of Halloween candy that are now haunting me in the pantry. The kids had a great time. I have to say, it may be the best one yet as I didn't even have to take my kids trick or treating. First off, my daughter is WAY too cool to go out with her MOTHER. Are you kidding me? Luckily, we had friends over so the girls went off on their own. Even more lucky for me, someone volunteered/I begged to take out my son. I got to sit and enjoy a fire with all my best gal pals and their hubbies. Of course I couldn't relax because my husband was burning some kind of combustible wood that kept spitting smoldering splinters onto my one pair of jeans that fit. Luckily, no one was burned though it came close to sending a Taylor Swift wig up in flames a few times. Now I'm left with all this candy. I saw this great crafty idea where you use it to make this daily chart where each kid got one piece a day throughout November. Apparently that Pinterest poster had more time than me because now we are already at Nov. 9th and it hasn't happened so we will continue to eat our way through it until all that's left are Dum Dum suckers and mints and we throw it away. The kids did have fun though and we got off pretty cheap on costumes so I'd say we can chalk it up to a success.
Since then we've been busy with school work, gearing up for more holidays and our son's newest activity: wrestling. When signing him up, I didn't realize how intense the schedule would be. For most people, its probably not a big deal. For a family where the mom and children require 10 hours of sleep a night, it's a bit much. Practice 3 times a week for 2 hours each time. So far though, he's loving it so it's worth it. Plus the exercise is doing him good. If you want a good laugh, just come watch him do some push-ups. It's a combination of the worm and humping. Words can't even explain. It's a you tube video waiting to happen. We've (I mean him) have been practicing them at home so we are almost there.
Now that we are getting into the swing of all the practices, we've had an injury that has us out of practice for a week. My son has a very hard head (from his father) and he collided with another boy at school. When you get a call from the school nurse, it's never good. Never. It's not like she's going to call and say "Oh by the way, just took your kids temp and it's fine. He can stay here for the rest of the day." No. A call usually involves a fever, puking, an injury, something bad. So when the school's number pops up on caller ID, I try to prepare for the worse. When the nurse says "Can you come in and look at this hole in your son's head because we think he may need some stitches?" you just jump in the car and go. When you find out your son's hard head knocked out someone else's two front teeth, you immediately ask 1) were they baby teeth (and keep your fingers crossed for a yes) and 2) who was it (incase it's some psycho parent and they are gonna freak out). Lucky for us they were baby teeth and the "victim" was a great little boy with super nice parents! Also lucky for us, my son's head didn't need stitches. They glued up the tooth shaped hole in his head and sent us on our way. The story my son tells recounting the event has grown every time he tells it. I guess they collided while playing football at recess. They both looked a little rough this morning at school but were the celebrities of 1st grade as they walked down the hallway showing off their battle wounds.
Last night when we went to bed, the husband and I were talking about being parents. I had already checked on my son 7 times in 2 hours because of the "warning signs of a concussion" the doctor gave us. It should be titled "this probably isn't going to happen but we don't want you to sleep tonight" information sheet. I was worried he wouldn't "wake easily" but he was fine. My daughter was going through some girl drama so she was bawling before bed. Girls are mean. She's not innocent and is hypersensitive about things but still. I don't remember girls getting mean until about 15, not 10. Anyway, we were talking about how hard parenting really is. I knew it would be but I guess I didn't realize all the emotions that you go through. One minute you are so proud and excited for them. One minute you are mad at them and discouraged that things just aren't getting through those thick little heads, the next minute you are screaming and then next second you feel guilty for screaming the minute before. You feel anger and want to go slap some 5th grade girl that hurt your daughter's feelings but you have to be strong and set a good example. Sometimes you are depressed that you aren't doing everything you promised yourself you were going to do and sometimes you are depressed because you are doing everything you said you wouldn't do. You feel enlightened because some of the things your parents said/did are finally making sense. And then you once again feel guilty for being such a snot to your parents. One minute you are getting a hug from a stinky, sweaty little boy and the next he is screaming at his sister over the remote and you want to ground him for a week but really that's just more punishment for you. So when people say parenting is the hardest job in the world, they aren't lying. It really is. The pay sucks but the benefits make up for it. Wouldn't it be nice if they just gave out that glue and we could fix all of our problems as easily as it fixed the tooth shaped hole in my son's head? I guess we'll never know. Until then, I will hang on and enjoy the ride on this emotional roller coaster!
Let's start with Halloween and the 516 pieces of Halloween candy that are now haunting me in the pantry. The kids had a great time. I have to say, it may be the best one yet as I didn't even have to take my kids trick or treating. First off, my daughter is WAY too cool to go out with her MOTHER. Are you kidding me? Luckily, we had friends over so the girls went off on their own. Even more lucky for me, someone volunteered/I begged to take out my son. I got to sit and enjoy a fire with all my best gal pals and their hubbies. Of course I couldn't relax because my husband was burning some kind of combustible wood that kept spitting smoldering splinters onto my one pair of jeans that fit. Luckily, no one was burned though it came close to sending a Taylor Swift wig up in flames a few times. Now I'm left with all this candy. I saw this great crafty idea where you use it to make this daily chart where each kid got one piece a day throughout November. Apparently that Pinterest poster had more time than me because now we are already at Nov. 9th and it hasn't happened so we will continue to eat our way through it until all that's left are Dum Dum suckers and mints and we throw it away. The kids did have fun though and we got off pretty cheap on costumes so I'd say we can chalk it up to a success.
Since then we've been busy with school work, gearing up for more holidays and our son's newest activity: wrestling. When signing him up, I didn't realize how intense the schedule would be. For most people, its probably not a big deal. For a family where the mom and children require 10 hours of sleep a night, it's a bit much. Practice 3 times a week for 2 hours each time. So far though, he's loving it so it's worth it. Plus the exercise is doing him good. If you want a good laugh, just come watch him do some push-ups. It's a combination of the worm and humping. Words can't even explain. It's a you tube video waiting to happen. We've (I mean him) have been practicing them at home so we are almost there.
Now that we are getting into the swing of all the practices, we've had an injury that has us out of practice for a week. My son has a very hard head (from his father) and he collided with another boy at school. When you get a call from the school nurse, it's never good. Never. It's not like she's going to call and say "Oh by the way, just took your kids temp and it's fine. He can stay here for the rest of the day." No. A call usually involves a fever, puking, an injury, something bad. So when the school's number pops up on caller ID, I try to prepare for the worse. When the nurse says "Can you come in and look at this hole in your son's head because we think he may need some stitches?" you just jump in the car and go. When you find out your son's hard head knocked out someone else's two front teeth, you immediately ask 1) were they baby teeth (and keep your fingers crossed for a yes) and 2) who was it (incase it's some psycho parent and they are gonna freak out). Lucky for us they were baby teeth and the "victim" was a great little boy with super nice parents! Also lucky for us, my son's head didn't need stitches. They glued up the tooth shaped hole in his head and sent us on our way. The story my son tells recounting the event has grown every time he tells it. I guess they collided while playing football at recess. They both looked a little rough this morning at school but were the celebrities of 1st grade as they walked down the hallway showing off their battle wounds.
Last night when we went to bed, the husband and I were talking about being parents. I had already checked on my son 7 times in 2 hours because of the "warning signs of a concussion" the doctor gave us. It should be titled "this probably isn't going to happen but we don't want you to sleep tonight" information sheet. I was worried he wouldn't "wake easily" but he was fine. My daughter was going through some girl drama so she was bawling before bed. Girls are mean. She's not innocent and is hypersensitive about things but still. I don't remember girls getting mean until about 15, not 10. Anyway, we were talking about how hard parenting really is. I knew it would be but I guess I didn't realize all the emotions that you go through. One minute you are so proud and excited for them. One minute you are mad at them and discouraged that things just aren't getting through those thick little heads, the next minute you are screaming and then next second you feel guilty for screaming the minute before. You feel anger and want to go slap some 5th grade girl that hurt your daughter's feelings but you have to be strong and set a good example. Sometimes you are depressed that you aren't doing everything you promised yourself you were going to do and sometimes you are depressed because you are doing everything you said you wouldn't do. You feel enlightened because some of the things your parents said/did are finally making sense. And then you once again feel guilty for being such a snot to your parents. One minute you are getting a hug from a stinky, sweaty little boy and the next he is screaming at his sister over the remote and you want to ground him for a week but really that's just more punishment for you. So when people say parenting is the hardest job in the world, they aren't lying. It really is. The pay sucks but the benefits make up for it. Wouldn't it be nice if they just gave out that glue and we could fix all of our problems as easily as it fixed the tooth shaped hole in my son's head? I guess we'll never know. Until then, I will hang on and enjoy the ride on this emotional roller coaster!
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