Hannakuh

On Saturday we got a ton of snow.  The Husband left for class bright and early and the kids were quick to come in and wake me up for breakfast.  They couldn't wait to go out in the snow.  So we ate and being the good wife that I am (pat myself on the back), I went out and shoveled.  The kids came out to play and all was well. 

Later that afternoon, after shoveling, laundry, baking and seeing Santa, I decided to take a little nap.  The husband was sawing logs already in his chair.  The son was coloring quietly and the daughter was watching tv in our room.  Needless to say, I was sound asleep in minutes!  If you are a mom, you probably know what's coming.  Dad can sleep the afternoon away without being disturbed, but not mom.  As soon as she falls asleep the phone will ring or a butt will need wiped.  It's inevitable.

So I'm dozing when all of a sudden, I hear in a loud stage whisper, "Mom, mom"
"I'm trying to sleep, please leave mommy alone"
"But mom, I have to tell you something really important"

He's 5 - everything is really important!

"What?"
"Do you know that when you celebrate Hannukah you get to get presents for 8 NIGHTS IN A ROW"  He is really excited and the stage whisper is now an all out yell.
"I know, that's really cool isn't it"
He goes back to coloring and I start to doze again.
"Mom, mom"
"Yes son?"
"Can we do that Hannukah thing too?"
"No, we are a different religion so we have Christmas instead"
"That's not fair - stupid Christmas"

And he goes back to coloring.  I go back to sleep but 5 minutes later he needs his butt wiped so the nap never did happen.  He has asked at least 4 more times if we can have Christmas for 8 nights but I'm not going for it. 

We got a puker....

Last night the kids were all tucked in for the night and about 8:00, the son comes out and says he doesn't feel good.  I just assume that he's stalling bed time and tell him to go get the puke bucket and get back in bed.  As he's walking back to his room he says his stomach really hurts and proceeds to puke about 5 times.  There is nothing worse that cleaning up a pukey bed in the middle of the night, so usually when one of the kids are sick, I sleep with them on our sofa bed.  So we pull it out and get settled in for the night.

Now let me just tell you about the sofa sleeper.  My husband will tell you that it's so so comfortable because it's not like the old ones with the metal bar in the middle.  He'll explain to you that they make them different now and it's just like a regular bed.  But let me tell you - he's never slept on it.  It is awful.  You know when they are about to pour concrete and they have all the metal bars laid out to pour the concrete over.  Picture laying a sleeping bag over that and then sleeping on it.  That's about how comfortable it is.

So we are all settled in, my son is all snuggled up against me because it's the greatest thing ever to be sleeping with mom on the "magic bed".  He's talking and blowing that sour, pukey breath on me.  I'm trying to be sympathetic but I'm dreading the night ahead of me.  At this point he seems fine and he's telling me in minute by minute play of his day at school.  I convince him that we need to stop talking and go to sleep and I shut all the lights and TV off.

I have a night light in the kitchen on but he informs me that he is SO scared of the dark and needs to be stuck to me like glue.  Here's how the conversation unfolded....

"Mom, I'm so scared, it's so dark in here"
"There's nothing to be afraid of, I'm right here and it's not that dark"
"But mom, it's so dark I can't see if there are monsters coming at me"

I get up and make the night light brighter.  Climb back into the metal bar hell and tell him to go to sleep.

"Mom, I'm still really scared and one time when I was scared I had a nightmare and I was crying and you didn't hear me and I kept calling you and you didn't hear me and I was so scared"
"No more talking, go to sleep"
"Okay mom, I love you but I'm still really scared. I have to lay right next to you"
"No more talking, go to sleep"
"Okay mom but..."
"GO TO SLEEP"

All is quiet and I think he may be dozing off.

"Mom, can I say one more thing"
"WHAT - one thing then good night!"
"I just tooted and I think a little poop came out.  Good night."

Charlie Nipple

Charlie Nipple - not a very common name but definitely the name that got me to finally start a blog.  My kids are pretty funny.  I know everyone thinks that, but mine really are.  Don't get me wrong, they can be total brats too but they make me laugh on a daily basis.  My son is the family clown.  He'll tell you himself that he loves to make people laugh.  And most of the time, he's not even trying which makes it even funnier.

For quite a while, I've been posting funny stories on FB and everyone says "I hope you're writing these down" so I thought - what better place than a blog. I'm sure it will catch on like wild fire and I'll be as famous as my favorite blogger The Pioneer Woman.  I'll be having book signings and be on Good Morning America before you know it!

The story that finally convinced me to start this follows....I hope you enjoy it!

The daughter came home from school and noticed we had cherry kool aid and 7up on the counter.  A rare occasion to have both at the same time.  She really wanted a "Shirley Temple" other wise known as a Kiddie cocktail in my day.  Being the cool mom that I am, I mixed one up and asked her brother if he wanted one.  Nope - he was happy with milk.  About an hour later he comes out to the kitchen and said "Mom, I'm ready for one of those drinks now - give me a Charlie Nipple".  Of course, he didn't realize he'd totally screwed up the name making it all the funnier!  

Stay tuned for more fun and tidbits of our life!